Eric Cartman Said…

“It’s a man’s obligation to stick his boneration in a women’s separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation” -- Eric Cartman

The Widow And The Ranch Hand

A successful Texas rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a smart and good-looking woman and was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long & hard about it, and when no one else applied for the job,she decided to hire the gay fellow, Frank, thinking he would be safer to have around than the drunk.

Frank proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, “You should go into town and kick up your heels this weekend.” He readily agreed and went into town that Saturday night.

One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return. Two o’clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, Frank found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

Go over to Woody’s for the punchline.