It’s technically not a sucker punch if you yell “Defend yourself, cocksucker!” two seconds before you let him have it.— Modern Drunkard Magazine

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People suck

Posted by ArmedGeek on Friday, September 4, 2009 in Rants

As I sit here drinking yet another Maker’s Mark on the rocks it is 9am here. My drunkenness at such an early hour is not as untoward as it would seem as I work nights. I am embracing the Modern Drunkard lifestyle and loving every minute of it.

I’ve grown to truly dislike the current state of society. People suck. Not very eloquent but there it is. People suck. Sure, there are exceptions. There are occasions when a stranger helps you with your bags or holds a door for you or just makes friendly conversation while standing in line at the grocery store. But mostly, people suck.

I’ve begun to appreciate the lifestyle of the Drunk so much so that I see it in my head that way. I’m not drunk .. I’m Drunk. Now I’m not embarking on a Leaving Las Vegas or anything as I still have faith things can improve. Hell, beyond the hope that society improves is the increasing feeling that I just don’t give a shit what happens to society.

We, the Drunks, should embark on a quest to independently make society better. Not their society. Ours. Fuck the sober people. The new world should be about us. Those of the steady .15BAC. Go out of your way to be nice to a fellow Drunk today. Offer a complete stranger a drink. More booze. For the good of mankind.

And for the good of the Drunks. AA is for quitters.

Bring on the comments

  1. Is that “Bob” from the Church of the Sub-Genius that is adorning many of your graphics? I see so little of him nowadays. Pity.

    Drink, AG!

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  2. LC Aggie Sith says:

    Since I’m not much of a drinker, being a lightweight, can I be the designated driver?

    :D

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  3. ArmedGeek says:

    Generally speaking, “being a lightweight” doesn’t qualify one for designated driver. It usually qualifies one for spending the night passed out in the trunk of the car while the rest of the party continues from bar to bar.

  4. LC Aggie Sith says:

    Ok, so I won’t drink, and will do video, ok?

    Passed out in the trunk…. BWAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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  5. ArmedGeek says:

    You really have to appreciate a woman that’ll do video.

  6. Woody says:

    I don’t drink at all, but I do agree with your assessment… for the MOST part.

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  7. cbullitt says:

    1.5 BAC? That’s for teenagers.
    If you can see 3, you ain’t drinking with me.

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  8. cmblake6 says:

    Exactly right. Mid-shifter here myself. Carry a gun for work, and need a touch of something to take off the edge before sleep.

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