Headlines
Man Robs Bank Armed with McDonald's Apple Pies
Police Arrest Naked Man Found Covered in Peanut Butter & Chocolate
Man Dies After Swallowing Dentures During Sex
'Soul Train' creator Don Cornelius dead
James Farentino dies at 73
White Castle Considers Offering Beer and Wine(I thought is where people went when already drunk)
America is Drunk(someone needs to slap Dr. Keith Ablow or buy him a drink or two)
Occupiers Pissing on Churches Housing Them (Literally)
Writing on the Wall?
In an interview held today by Diane Sawyer, Prez Obama had this gem to impart to the proles:
“I’d rather be a really good one-term president than a mediocre two-term president,” he told ABC’s “World News” anchor Diane Sawyer in an exclusive interview today.
Let’s review: he failed at passing ObamaChappaquiddickCare, failed delivering an accord in Hopenchangen, failed to bring the Summer Olympics to Chicago, failed to get Democratic governors and a senator elected, failed to get Tax & Chained off the ground…. However, it would be a mistake to underestimate this man’s ego. After all, he seems to think his personality will bail everyone out:
“I’ve been doing that with this White House, and they just don’t seem to give it any credibility at all,” [retiring Congressman Marion] Berry said. “They just kept telling us how good it was going to be. The president himself, when that was brought up in one group, said, ‘Well, the big difference here and in ’94 was you’ve got me.’ We’re going to see how much difference that makes now.”
Wow….just, wow….
Cracked: 6 Reasons Homemade Porn Is a Worse Idea Than You Think
While their asses look like sparkling puckers of sanitation and delight, fashioned from the finest alabaster and stank, mine looks like the Sarlacc that ate Boba Fett. It has no business on camera and chances are yours will be just as atrocious.
Have you ever been in a public restroom when an overweight man in a hurry comes in? And you’re forced to take the next stall and just sit in silent horror and listen as he tries to both get comfortable and stave off an aneurysm? Why is there is much heavy breathing? And squishing? And then wet plops. That’s what homemade porn sounds like.
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