Headlines
MAIG Cooridinators Paid as City Employees
Robin Gibbs Dead
Donna Summer - Dead at 63
Vidal Sassoon assumes room temperature
A final grand but sad salute to US space supremacy
Dick Clark - who's got him?
Only in Wisconsin: Drunk 80 Year Old Hits Beer Truck
Anybody have Mike Wallace?
Heroism Re-established
Our Sundays are usually very quiet, for the most part. This being Halloween, things are a bit more festive. This morning, I was up very early, and as usual got up tended to the dogs, made a pot of coffee, and checked on the rat. Yes, right now we are the proud owners of a rat. Why? because the snakes would not eat it. So, while we wait for the snakes to get hungry enough to eat the rat, he is our “guest”. Anyway, the rat was nicely curled up and asleep among the paper shreds. Being the gentle soul that I am, I banged on the cage to make sure the sucker was still alive. Yep, he was still kicking, so I let him be. However, my powers of observation were severely hindered by my lack of caffeine, and I failed to notice the opening where the water bottle usually screwed on.
This afternoon, after getting lunch, Mr. Aggie and Eldest come downstairs and notice the rat is missing, as in FUCKING GONE!!! Ok, I am not, NOT going to panic. Did enough of that crap during my table fire. So, I calmly state the rat will show up eventually, while secretly thinking how the hell am I going to keep him from getting into the pantry. Mr. Aggie, practical man that he is, is already making plans to get rat traps and set them up. As he is reaching for a drink he turns and says, “Aggie*?” I look towards where he is looking, and there is evil incarnate the rat, looking at us innocently while plotting our demise. Calmly, Mr. Aggie goes and manages to catch the little destroyer by the tail, and return him to the cage, giving Eldest instructions as to how to plug the opening. Needless to say, Mr. Aggie has established his hero creds and we are back to enjoying Halloween. At least until kids start nagging us about the generic candy.
Evil incarnate, destroyer of worlds.
* Not my real name. And thanks to Laura over at Fetch My Flying Monkeys for telling me about the Ransom Letters application 
Burn, Baby, Burn
Wednesday evening, Eldest comes into the kitchen looking for a lighter. We don’t smoke, but my sister always leaves one around for “emergencies”, as in “Hey, I’m drinking and need a cigarette. You have a lighter?” Anyway, she sits down at the kitchen table to shine her shoes for her ROTC day. Pretty soon my BIL, Draco, and Mr. Aggie amble over to see her progress, which in my meager understanding of “shoeshine”, is pretty weak. Innocently, Eldest asks them how the shoes look, and being military men, they each sit down, take a shoe, and proceed to show my female Tom Sawyer how it is done. This was the beginning of pure comedy genius.
There are several tricks soldiers employ to get their shoes polished to a mirror shine. Lemon Pledge is one, but I was out. So, Mr. Aggie resorted to a less conventional trick: using isopropyl alcohol. On the face of it, it seemed harmless enough. What I didn’t know was it would also require the use of FIRE. So, there I am, sitting across from them, making an album for my Tim Holtz inspired creations, and watching as Mr. Aggie pours alcohol into the shoe polish, calmly setting it on fire.
Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING????
Mr. Aggie: I’m showing her how to get a good shine on her shoes.
Me: Why set the polish on FIRE???
Mr. Aggie: It melts the wax and goes on…. I know what I’m doing.
Me: The flame is really high. You need to put it out. PUT IT OUT!!!
At this point, Mr. Aggie tries to put out the flame by blowing on it. Instead of gently blowing it out, he puffs at it, sending the liquified contents onto the unprotected tabletop. Now, not only am I panicking, he is sitting there watching it.
Me: OMG!!! PUT IT OUT!!!!
Mr. Aggie: Chill out. (Blows on it again)
Me: OMG!!! CAN’T YOU PUT IT OUT????
Mr. Aggie: I’m blowing on it!!!
Me: Holy hell!!! (Picks up a rag and douses the flames. Becomes instant heroine)
Love means always having to say you're sorry....
I will take a picture of the scorched table later. Ok, not really scorched….. just traumatized. Anyone else have some funny stories of boneheaded proportions?
UPDATE: (more…)
Booze of the Week
I know it has bee way too damned long since I did one of these. This round is Southern Comfort.
I didn’t like it. SoCo is too damned sweet and fruity tasting. Not quite as bad as Red Stag, but close. There won’t be another bottle of this stuff in my house.
Funniest Five Minutes in Television
A Story For The Glorious Lemur King
Our friend The Glorious Lemur King has had a relapse and is unable to finish writing his awesome Truck/ Michigan/ Silver D’Cat story. We all wish him a speedy recovery. His condition is extremely painful, and we can only hope and pray he has better luck defeating that monster this time around.
Anyway, as I began to write, LK (as he is known around these parts) is unable to finish his adventurous tale of mayhem, mystery, and madness involving a cat, a truck, a state, and in between, drugs. All perfectly legal, seriously. So, it is up to us, his loyal readers, to extrapolate a plausible ending to the second part of his story. His last paragraph:
We laughed and read The Onion that night at the hotel and skritched our sulky kitty until it was time to turn out the lights. There was a big day ahead of us, and we had no idea how ill-prepared we were for the adrenaline-pumping experiences that were to come.
And so, without further ado, I present to you, loyal reader, my version of the story…..
I *heart* October
You know what? October is fast becoming my favorite month. You get candy corn (yes, I eat each color section at a time), you get fun wines like Vampire and Bitch (ok, that last one is a year round staple around here), you finally can legitimize wearing your costume in public, and of course, not to be outdone, you get ZOMBIES!!!!!
I *heart* bunny slippers
Yep, that’s my very own zombie BFF, y’all, and guess what? You can make your own!! Because SEARS has gone ZOMBIE!!! They even have a link to where you can translate into zombie for the recently undead. AWESOME!!!!
Hat tip: Mitchell, who isn’t into zombies, but we love him anyway 
Video of the Week
I was over at H2, and saw this new ad by David Zucker. Buh-bye, Senator Boxer!!
You’ll see Clint Howard and ZO!!
Via H2
Happily Ever After
UPDATE: Since my boss decided to make a post, and I have so much shit to do today, consider this an open thread! Question: what is your favorite fairytale ending?? Heh!
Loading ...
