Tonight is that awards show of awards shows, the Academy Awards. This is the award given to those who their peers consider as having delivered the performance of a lifetime, or rather the previous ten months, really.
Fred Astaire never won.
Marilyn Monroe never won.
Peter O’Toole never won.
Cary Grant never won.
Some may have received the Lifetime Achievement Award for “sticking around long enough”. But they never won a competitive award. And that’s what counts to those myopic, fishbowl-living, Brown Derby-styling celebutardic actors. Frankly, I like to call it the Meyer Awards. Let’s face it: it’s a bunch of weenies full of bologna.
It’s too bad I gave up booze for Lent. It would have been a nice drinking game every time someone brought up some libtardic talking point in their winning speech