“Is this place safe?” … “About as safe as bare-backing a $5 hooker.” — Willem Dafoe — Daybreakers

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ArmedGeek’s Movie List

High Noon
You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If you’re honest you’re poor your whole life and in the end you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star.
Double Indemnity
Do I laugh now, or wait ’til it gets funny?
The French Connection
All right, Popeye’s here! get your hands on your heads, get off the bar, and get on the wall!
30 Days of Night
Actually a pretty damned good vampire story.
A Fistful Of Dollars
The first of the ‘Dollars’ trilogy. Must see for Eastwood fans.
A Few Dollars More
The second of the ‘Dollars’ trilogy. Must see for Eastwood fans.
The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
Third of the Dollars movies
Alien
If you haven’t seen this movie, you’re fucking retarted. Something is seriously wrong with you.
Aliens
American Gangster
Meh. Two damned good actors.
American Psycho
Dictionary definition of crazy-motherfucker.
Army Of Darkness
This is the third of the Evil Dead series of movies. Bruce Campbell Rocks!
Bad Santa
Billy Bob Thornton being a complete drunken dick.
Batman Begins
Breach
True story of a CIA spy. Didn’t really care for it.
Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
For a moment there I thought we were in trouble.
Night Of The Living Dead (1968)
The original.
Dawn Of The Dead (1978)
The Gold Standard of zombie movies.
Death Race
The update to the classic. This is the one with Jason Statham. Meh.
The Evil Dead
I know now that my wife has become host to a Candarian demon. I fear that the only way to stop those possessed by the spirits of the book is through the act of… bodily dismemberment.
Evil Dead 2
The second of the Evil Dead movies.
Fantastic 4 Rise of the Silver Surfer
Jessica Alba couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag, but fucking hell, she sure is hot.
Fantastic Voyage
Donald Pleasence gets eaten by a white blood cell. Oh, and Raquel Welch
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Spicoli!
Field Of Dreams
If you build it he will come.
From Dusk Til Dawn
Best vampire comedy ever.
Galaxy Quest
Never give up, Never surrender!
Hang Em High
mmm, spaghetti.
Hitman
meh. Movie made from a video game.
Hoosiers
Every ‘coach/sports team’ movie was patterned after this one.
Hot Fuzz
Decent flick if you like Shaun of the Dead
I Am Legend
Seriously, how do you fuck up the end of a story like this ?
I Love You Man
Oddly, a decent film.
In Bruges
Did you know Colin Farrell can act ?
In The Heat Of The Night
I do want to thank you for offering such a powerful piece of manpower as Virgil Tibbs.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Odd comedy-thriller with Robert Downey Jr
Ladder 49
Why does it always have to be the 12th floor? Why cant they be on the 4th?
Leaving Las Vegas
Two really messed up people.
Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels
Good film. And I don’t usually like foreign-language films.
Mr. Brooks
A bit different for a serial killer film.
My Name Is Bruce
A must for Bruce Campbell films.
Next
Jessica Biel
Ocean’s 11
Sinatra not Clooney
On The Waterfront
I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.
Oscar
Never witness nuthin’. You live longer.
Pale Rider
Clint Eastwood
Resident Evil
I’m not sure I want to remember what went on down here.
Resident Evil: Apocolypse
My name is Alice and I remember everything.
Resident Evil: Extinction
You won’t have to wait that long, boys. Because I’m coming for you. And I’m gonna be bringing a few of my friends.
Role Models
L.A.I.R.E.
Rush
Stalag 17
Strange Brew
This movie was shot in 3B -- three beers -- and it looks good, eh?
Sunset Boulevard
Nothing good ever comes from a flat tire.
Sunshine
Odd, but interesting SciFi flick
Superbad
You know when you hear girls say ‘Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn’t have fucked that guy?’ We could be that mistake!
Taking of Pelham One Two Three
Walter Matthau not Denzel Washington
The Bank Job
Foreign language heist film
The Big Lebowski
Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?
The Bourne Supremacy
meh
The Bourne Ultimatum
meh
The Great Escape
One of my favorite films
The Hustler
Jackie Gleason as Minnesota Fats
The Kingdom
Oddly, this has been sitting on my hardrive forever and I’ve still not seen it.
The Life And Times Of Judge Roy Bean
different.
The Lost Weekend
One of the best ever ‘drunk’ films.
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
Spoiler: it wasn’t Jimmy Stewart
The Man Who Would Be King
Sean Connery and Michael Caine .. what more could you want? Spoiler: It was all fucked up by a woman.
The Mist
Would have been perfect if it had ended 30 seconds sooner.
The Odd Couple
We’re all out of cornflakes. F.U. Took me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Ungar!
The Outlaw Josey Wales
You can never have too many Eastwood westerns.
The Princess Bride
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
The Pursuit Of Happiness
Another one I still have not actually watched.
The Ref
You think every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and say “Gee I’m glad I’m me and not some 19-year-old billionaire rockstar with the body of an athelete and a 24-hour erection!” No I don’t! So just excuse the shit out of me!
The Right Stuff
Hey, Ridley, ya got any Beeman’s?
The Searchers
The Shining
Wendy, darling, light of my life! I’m not gonna hurt you. You didn’t let me finish my sentence. I said: I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just gonna bash your brains in. I’m gonna bash ‘em right the fuck in!
The Way Of The Gun
A little Butch and Sundance and a little Wild Bunch
The Wrestler
Good film.
Under The Volcano
Another of the all-time great drunk films.
Untouchables
They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That’s* the *Chicago* way!
Usual Suspects
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
Valdez Is Coming
Walk The Line
Where Eagles Dare
Broadsword calling Danny Boy
Zombie Strippers
That chick’s as cold as the dead flesh of a stripping zombie.
National Lampoons: Vacation
This is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest, a quest for fun. I’m gonna have fun and your gonna have fun. We’re gonna have so much fucking fun they’re gonna need plastic surgeons to remove the smiles from our fucking faces. We’ll be whistling zippity-doo-dah out of our ass holes