Headlines
Man Robs Bank Armed with McDonald's Apple Pies
Police Arrest Naked Man Found Covered in Peanut Butter & Chocolate
Man Dies After Swallowing Dentures During Sex
'Soul Train' creator Don Cornelius dead
James Farentino dies at 73
White Castle Considers Offering Beer and Wine(I thought is where people went when already drunk)
America is Drunk(someone needs to slap Dr. Keith Ablow or buy him a drink or two)
Occupiers Pissing on Churches Housing Them (Literally)
Words Escape Me
No, not really. I can think of quite a few things to say about this pic:
The Quicker Fucker Upper
And I thought the Japanese were totally fucked up. Consider this a Caption Contest, brain bleach not included.
From our friend Tiberius at Welcome to the Asylum. Go over and say “HOWDY!!” And give him some linkie love 
Too Obvious to Pass Up
Time again for the semi-sort-of-bi-monthly Caption Contest here at Hookers and Booze. Trust me when I say, you’ll need booze after contemplating this:
Let the captions, and the retching, BEGIN!!!
Fashionista!!
I saw this and just had to put it up for a caption contest:
Can you say Underalls?? Let the captioning begin!!
Caption Contest!!
That’s right, kids! Time again for another caption contest, and time to announce the winner of the last one. I decided to stay away from any pics of Pelosi. I need a break from that…. Anyway, without further ado, here you go:
Saw it yesterday, and just had to do it. And the winner of the last caption contest is WAMK with:
“Mr. President, is that a roll of dimes in your pocket?”
Enjoy! 
That Two-Timing Guttersnipe!
First, she is caught cuddling up to the staff of the chief. And now this:
What an inpudent trollop!!! Rahm is crying in his hairgel, I’m sure. Care to caption?
Caption Contest Results
Well, the last caption contest went over rather well. Commenters were…inspired. After the votes were tallied we had one clear winner. The winner is Enas Yorl with:
“Gee, your botox smells terrific!”
First runner up, which is important in case Enas cannot execute the duties of the title, is Tiberius, with:
“Who’s my favourite little socialist bitch? You are aren’t you, shmoopy?”
Hope you enjoyed the contest, and hope you have obliterated that particular pic from your corneas.
There Are No Words
Ok, folks…. how do you explain this pic:
CAPTION IT IF YOU DARE!!!!!
Caption Contest Kudos
Thanks to all who participated in the second caption contest. I have to admit to chortling at a few, but one was voted “well loved” above the rest. The winner this week is Tiberius with:
“Now what I’m going to do, is sneak up on him, and jam my thumb in his butthole”
And honorable mention goes to Hank Scorpio with:
If that motherfucker bows to one more foreign king, I swear I’m gonna put my thumb through his fuckin eye! I mean it! I’ll turn it to fuckin jelly, I shit you not!!
Of course, I must share my caption now, since I was unqualified to post it before:
“See? I can totally replace Simon Cowell on American Idol!!!”
Thanks for playing!
By Popular Demand
It has been requested by a few of you, and so, I shall deliver. New caption contest for y’all to enjoy!
There is one caption that just screams at me here, but it wouldn’t be fair for me to participate
Have fun!
Update (ArmedGeek): I added little rating widgets to the comments so y’all can just + or -- the captions you like.
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