Better Off Dead
What is it with Hollywood actors lately?? I mean, if it’s not guzzling Hugo Chavez’ swill, it’s crap like this:
Actor John Cusack went on a caustic Twitter rampage Sunday evening, attacking former House Majority Leader Dick Armey, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and Fox News.
“I AM FOR A SATANIC DEATH CULT CENTER AT FOX NEWS HQ AND OUTSIDE THE OFFICES ORDICK ARMEYAND NEWT GINGRICH-and all the GOP WELFARE FREAKS,” Cusack tweeted.
Seriously, this is a WTF moment for me. I know John Cusack is a HUGE Obamabot…. his entire family is very liberal, from his sisters Ann and Joan to his late father, Dick. I grew up on John’s movies. I grew up wanting to be Mrs. John Cusack. I wanted to be serenaded to Peter Gabriel, and to be taken to Dodger’s Stadium after competing on the K-12. I wanted the dream, back when I was a teenager and still could think actors had some scruples. But that dream died a while back, and even though he was still a fine actor, there is a line you just do not cross.
So, fuck you, John. Fuck your insipid twattle, you twatmoldy fucktard. You have killed what little respect I still may have harbored deep in the well of my soul for you. Whatever your views may be, they do not excuse your call for death threats against anyone. What happens if one of your idiot Twit followers decides to glorify your words?? What then, you insipid little needleprick? If ANYTHING deserves to die is your pathetic career, you disgusting slab of pig offal. Consider this a Dear John letter, you hobknocking wanker. And while you’re off trying to save your career from damage, try checking your pathetic twitterings before you post, you fucking moron.
Oh, Gag….
Now comes word from that most politically savvy entertainer, Lady Gag Me Gaga, that she will protest Arizona’s SB 1070 law:
“We have to be active. We have to protest. . . . I will yell and I will scream louder,” the 24-year-old pop sensation told the sold-out audience…
And I have to say, she tends to scream and yell very well. But as we know hypocrisy knows no bounds:
“I will hold you, and we will hold each other, and we will peaceably protest this state.”
Peaceably???? Last I checked, yelling and screaming were not peaceful. Nevermind the majority of Arizonans, hell, AMERICANS are in favor of the law. That doesn’t matter to this addlepated twit. During the concert she went on about a kid whose home was raided over a “parking ticket or something”, and his brother deported. I can’t even begin to type about everything that is wrong with that story. After calling the arrest “disgusting”, the Too-Late-To-Be-Madonna wannabe went on to say this gem:
“I think it’s important that people understand that it’s a state of emergency for this place and this state”
You’re right, Lady Tatas. It IS a state of emergency in that state, and every other state. What your two braincells and axon fail to realize, is that this “state of emergency” is due to the very illegals YOU are supporting. THEY are a financial drain to the state, but you don’t see that, since you don’t have to deal with it. You can just go on and demand people pay $75 to see you wail in your ridiculous underwear, being surrounded by eunuchs. And lest y’all think I’m being unkind (fuck, I know y’all don’t), here are her finally hypocritical words on the subject of boycotting Arizona:
But Lady Gaga stopped short of dumping her tour dates like big name acts Kanye West and Rage Against the Machine who boycotted the state in protest of SB 1070.
“I got a phone call from a couple really big rock and rollers, big pop stars, big rap artists, and they said, ‘We’d like you to boycott Arizona . . . because of SB 1070,” she told the cheering crowd.
“I said, ‘Do you really think that us dumb (expletive) pop stars are going to collapse the economy of Arizona?”
So, I have a few questions for the Gag Bitch du Jour. Do you require that a person pay for a ticket to see your show? What would you do if a bunch of people were sneaking into your concert, but Security could not ask if they had a ticket? How about those people who download your version of what I call “music”? Would you be upset if they didn’t pay, and got free music because you had enough money to cover their thievery? Until such time as you give your assets away for illegal downloads and concert-goers, kindly shut the fuck up. I don’t need some syphilitic, twatmoldy parasite preaching to ME about SB 1070. Go suck one of your eunuchs waiting for me to care about your opinion.
Brit Ear Leader Bends Over
I’m glad I’m not a Brit. Really glad. I see the slow demise of that once-great country, running headlong into a maelstrom (I love that word) straight to a hell on Earth. First it was the Archbishop of Canterbury arguing for Shari’a law in Great Britain, and dealing with the lovefest Ken Livingstone has for Islam. And now, you have the heir to the throne of England, the Prince of Wales, come out and say this:
Prince Charles yesterday urged the world to follow Islamic ‘spiritual principles’ in order to protect the environment.
In an hour-long speech, the heir to the throne argued that man’s destruction of the world was contrary to the scriptures of all religions – but particularly those of Islam.
He said the current ‘division’ between man and nature had been caused not just by industrialisation, but also by our attitude to the environment – which goes against the grain of ‘sacred traditions’.
Says the man with his own private jet, his own private motorcade, and countless estates. Keep in mind, he was speaking at the Oxford Center for Islamic Studies, so there may have been some sucking-up involved. Yes, that’s my way of saying the idiot has no spine. Not to worry, though…. he digs deeper in the hole:
He added: ‘The inconvenient truth is that we share this planet with the rest of creation for a very good reason – and that is, we cannot exist on our own without the intricately balanced web of life around us.
‘Islam has always taught this and to ignore that lesson is to default on our contract with creation.’
REALLY?????? The same religion that laid waste to the delicate ecosystem of the marshes in Iraq as retribution for an uprising against Saddam Hussein? The same religion that destroyed the priceless Bhuddist statues in Afghanistan? The same religion that sanctions the murder of women who are rape victims? The same religion that sanctions the hanging of a seven-year-old boy and rejoices in the suicide bombing at an Afghan wedding? I could go on for hours detailing what Islam has taught me, but my blood pressure can’t take it.
What I find truly galling is that this so-called prince is heir to the throne of England, which makes him the future head of the Church of England. I always wondered why Queen Elizabeth II refused to abdicate upon reaching retirement age. Now I know: she doesn’t trust her own first born at all. I think she first got the inkling when he decided to separate from Princess Diana. Newsflash, Chuckles: it doesn’t look good on the Church stationery having an adulterer as its leader. You say you have “studied the Koran” extensively? I suggest you go back and study the Holy Bible extensively, if you have any hope of becoming king, which I hope never comes to pass. The Queen is a sharp lady, and it has not escaped my notice how she is grooming Prince William for his ascension to the throne.
Fuckall I need a drink.
A big ThankYe to the Curtal Friar for posting his own take. Go over and take a gander at his site if only for the Daily Babes 
Of Dung Beatles, Tin Kings, and Would-Be Gods…
This has been a crazy week at Casa de Aggie. Last week of school, and several guests coming to town have left me very frazzled. Mix in the news this week, and you would swear there’s a Zombie Rod Serling about.
To start, we have “Sir” Paul McCartney in country to receive the Gershwin Prize for music. According to the WaPo, it was a fantastic party at the White House, complete with serenades to the First Lady, and covers of his music from long ago. Apparently, Sir Mac decided his title makes him qualified to comment on US politics:
After thanking the Library of Congress one last time, he let it rip: “After the last eight years, it’s good to have a president that knows what a library is.”
Really? So, George W. Bush, who is married to a librarian, doesn’t know what a library is? The same man that had reading contests with Karl Rove?? I have news for you, Macca: just because a prez can read from a teleprompter doesn’t make him well-read. Of course, that astute observation came from a man too stupid to think of a pre-nup with Heather Mills.
Next up we have James “King of Pandora” Cameron. He remarked at the All Things Digital conference that he offered his assistance to British Petroleum. When BP turned him down, he got his tin crown all bent out of shape:
“Over the last few weeks I’ve watched, as we all have, with growing horror and heartache, watching what’s happening in the Gulf and thinking those morons don’t know what they’re doing,” Cameron said.
He “declined” to explain who he meant by “morons.” Newsflash: just because you have filmed underwater in a tin can doesn’t give you the expertise to work in this area. Not that it stops him from participating in an EPA brainstorming meeting on how to stop the oil spill. Because Hollywood is soooo realistic, you know.
And finally, we come to the heartbreak of the week: The Goron, almighty priest of Carbon Come, is going through a separation after forty years of marriage. The rumor mill is spinning fast on this, but I believe this encapsulates my feelings best:
Hat tip: Daily Bayonet
See y’all sometime after the weekend!!!
Boob Belt No More??
Between all the headline happenings this week, what with a failed terrorist attack in Times Square, for which the Pakistani Taliban is claiming responsibility, although the NYPD is investigating a video showing a white male in the vicinity (WHEW!), to the White House Correspondents Dinner where Prez Obama “took digs” at everyone, with the help of index cards, because he left the TOTUS at the University of Michigan after his commencement address, to the mega-fast-super-dooper response to the oil spill by the Obama Administration, it is no wonder this little bit of news flew under the radar:
Remember the purple sheath Mrs. Obama wore the night of the fist bump heard round the world? The teal number at the Democratic National Convention? Or the red dress she wore to meet the Bushes on their way out of the White House? Maria Pinto all, designed right here where both women were born and raised and, over the course of one remarkable election, became stars.
So when Ms. Pinto abruptly put up a “closeout sale” sign in the window of her West Loop boutique and announced that she was folding her fashion business, Chicago — and Pinto devotees all over — reacted with disbelief: What in sartorial heaven happened?
I will tell you what happened, from a female point of view: you can’t sell “frocks” for thousands of dollars just because the First Lady wore them. You have to account for the economic status of people who are NOT living in the Lake District in Chicago. You know, those of us who like shopping at Wal-Mart. In short, Ms. Pinto, you were very short-sighted.
Just back from a month’s break in Barcelona, she pointed to the strain that a sour economy had placed on her business just as it was expanding and gaining major traction beyond a loyal Chicago following.
But Ms. Pinto acknowledged having made some typical startup mistakes in building her brand, in areas like financial management and operations.
Wow, a month in Barcelona, while her business suffered…. you know, I recall my dad, and my uncles never taking vacation while working hard to make sure their businesses got established. But that’s just work ethic. As to the typical “start-up mistakes” one was glaring: she targeted the wrong demographic. Wealthy women will pay thousands for a dress, but the majority of women cannot do so. Fashion 101: you design a dress for the wealthy woman, and you then take that design, and tweak it, making it “off the rack” and in an affordable fabric for the masses under another umbrella company. Bob Mackie, Isaac Mizrahi, and Michael Kors are among many who learned this lesson. Selling your creations through Barneys and Saks Fifth Avenue is not exactly “reaching to the masses.”
In other news, the National Enquirer is claiming a Prez Obama cheating scandal…. wonder what John Edwards is thinking?
Shit I Cannot Make Up
One of the things I like to do is read how pseudo-journalists bounce back from tremedous failures, or the run-of-the-mill foot-in-mouth syndrome. Nothing exemplifies this better than Anderson “My Mom is Gloria Vanderbilt” Cooper. Fresh off his fabulous Jeopardy! appearance, where he lost to Cheech Marin, Anderson “I Wear Prada” Cooper has decided to quell vicious rumors about his sexuality take a brave step and challenge nature:
60 Minutes: Anderson Cooper Takes an Unprotected Swim With Great White Sharks
At first, I thought he was going to attend the annual American Trial Lawyers Association shindig at the Wynn in Las Vegas. But no… Anderson “I’m Too Sexy For Your TV” Cooper means actual sharks:
CNN’s Anderson Cooper joins “The Sharkman” on “60 Minutes” for an unprotected swim with the ocean’s most feared predator.
Do you know why he is going “unprotected”? Because even sharks have standards.
Karma and I Have Stuff in Common
Yes, we are both bitches. Also, I can levitate. However, unlike me who just tends to nag, Karma is as subtle as playing pizzicato with a jackhammer on a Stradivarius. Take today’s example:
Durham police arrested Duke lacrosse accuser Crystal Gale Mangum, 33, late Wednesday after she allegedly assaulted her boyfriend, set his clothes on fire in a bathtub and threatened to stab him.
First rule of “D-list” celebrity notoriety: when you have been caught lying, STFU and disappear. Do NOT bring more attention to yourself. Especially after writing a book best classified as a pityfest. Or bad fiction.
Police charged her with attempted first-degree murder, five counts of arson, assault and battery, communicating threats, three counts of misdemeanor child abuse, injury to personal property, identity theft and resisting a public officer.
Looks like Ms. Magnum is moving on up! Not only did she beat up and throw things at her boyfriend, threaten his life, and set his clothes on fire, she did so after the police responded to the domestic disturbance call, no doubt placed by one of the three children present. But what about that “identity theft” charge??
Officers said Mangum gave them a fake name, “Marella Mangum,” and age, prompting the identity theft charge. She also resisted the officers who responded to the scene, according to police documents.
A bit late to think of that, don’t you think??
Her bond was set at $1 million. Mangum has been appointed a public defender and is scheduled to appear in court on Feb. 22.
Well, maybe she can ask Mike Nifong to represent her. I hear he needs a job.
Obama Administration, MTV Edition
Just when one thought they could not cheapen the office any further, along comes that bastion of good taste, MTV, to prove us wrong.
Is it just me, or does it seem like this administration has completely thrown respect for the Office completely out the window? A bunch of celebrity-seeking twenty-year-olds get the run of the place for ratings…..come to think about it, they may do a better job of speaking than Gibby does.
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