Man Law : You can not rat out a friend who show’s up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way down so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.

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Jul 5

How to Shorten a Debate

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Saturday, July 5, 2014 in Government, Idiotarians, News

I hate debates. As much as I enjoy seeing all sides of an issue, I hate the circular arguments that can result from overly- long debates. Usually the fault lies with the one who feels most defensive on the subject. Ok, with the one who feels. With the end of the SCOTUS session, I knew I was not going to be disappointed on social media as far as arguments went. I did learn to keep things very brief. I have better things to do with my time than spend it going about in circular arguments.

Ain’t nobody got time for that!

So, here are a few examples to help y’all shorten the debate so y’all can have time to enjoy.

ZOMG!!! Those poor, undocumented children (who just happen to come across our supposedly secure southern border)!!! We need to bring their families up here so they can be reunited. DON’T BE HEARTLESS!!! ELEVENTY!!!

I have two words for you: Elian Gonzales.

I am sick and tired of having men decide what a woman can do with her body, PERIOD!!!

Can you say, Roe vs. Wade? I knew you could!

No one has any business with what goes on in my bedroom!!!

How quickly they forget Lawrence vs. Texas.

An employer has no right to deny me healthcare!!!

Pesky rule, delaying the employer mandate, huh?

Religious zealots will now control my body. BURN THEM ALL!!!

Those evul democrats and damn Bill Clinton and his pen!!

My birth control is none of my boss’ business!!!

So use your wages to buy your own. Simple, eh?

I hope this helps y’all with any fence-sitters, or maybe a few liberal friends. I got through to my hippie niece on the whole Hobby Lobby issue, so I consider it progress, not progressive ;)

Jun 13

Open Thread Friday!!

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, June 13, 2014 in AssHatery, Government, Idiotarians, Islamofascist nutjobs, religion of piece, terrorism

By now y’all know so-called “Sgt” Bergdahl is now stateside. You also know Iraq is about to be taken over by ISIS, radicals that make Al Qaeda look like diplomats. You are also aware of the impoverished former Secretary of State’s new work of fiction. This week has been nothing but bad news for this administration. So the only recourse left for our Prez is to go visit a Sioux reservation in the Dakotas.

Six years after he promised to help with conditions in Indian Country.

embarrassed-polar-bear

Seriously, what is this I don’t even….

Go nuts trying to figure this out, because all I can see is our leader letting helping the world burn.

May 23

Everyone’s Special, Dash…

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, May 23, 2014 in AssHatery, Education, Idiotarians, Political Correctness

…. which means no one is.

North-Hill-Field-Day-announcement-crop

I wish this was a joke. But this comes on the heels of another school cancelling Honors Night because they didn’t want other kids feeling “left out”. Thankfully, parents protested and the event is back on schedule. Since when is it a secular sin to achieve?? It is human nature to try and be the best one can be at what one does. The real reward is good feelings?? No, the real reward is EARNING SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU TRIED YOUR BEST AND BEAT THOSE WHO DID NOT. The good feelings come from achieving, not from Kumbaya. This is just another attempt to equalize misery. They have done away with the red pen for grading, they have done away with marking  “X”s, all school supplies are placed together for equal distribution, and no child can have a nicer notebook than another: all must be the same BRAND.

My daughter was tossing out some of her awards from the past few years. When I asked her why she told me they meant nothing, since everyone got the same award. She gave them to me to recycle into art. A part of me was a bit heartbroken to see how callously she tossed them out, but I was proud of her for recognizing that SHE isn’t a special snowflake. Her personal achievements vastly outnumber the cookie cutter awards doled out for the masses, and she knows that. Giving every kid a trophy for participation and good feelings isn’t encouraging any self-esteem. It just discourages incentive.

And that’s the first step in breaking the human spirit.

May 16

Henny for Lots of Pennies

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, May 16, 2014 in AssHatery, ClimateGate, Idiotarians, Left Wing Media, Total Bullshit, Weather

Y’all remember Henny Penny? AKA Chicken Little? Apparently she got hit on the head with a chunk of Antarctic ice and is screaming about the eventual demise of Washington, D.C.

What will become of the nation’s capital?

The huge West Antarctic ice sheet is slowly collapsing, and two groups of scientists say the melting is now an unstoppable event.

Melting ice will cause sea levels to rise higher than initially projected, which is cause for concern for D.C.-area scientists and local urban planners.

The rising seas will affect local treasures, including the Chesapeake Bay and the country’s iconic monuments along the National Mall.

“We’ve reached the point of no return,” says Brenda Ekwurzel, senior climate scientist with the Union of Concerned Scientists. “We can expect by the end of the century, according to the National Climate Assessment, anywhere between one and five feet of sea-level rise.”

That’s only the beginning.

I know, I know…y’all are out of shocked faces by now. Global cooling Global warming Climate change Climate chaos is super happening over in Antarctica. The ice sheet is breaking!! ICE IS MELTING SO SEA LEVELS WILL RISE AND DOGS AND CATS WILL END UP LIVING TOGETHER!!! (Say it. You know you want to!) So as the sea level rises we are in danger of our so-called beloved national capital from being underwater. Weather peeps can’t possibly predict the weather for the workweek, but BY GOD they can sure tell when we are all going to die because of anthropomorphic global warming CLIMATE CHAOS. Henny Penny is screaming that the sky is falling the water is rising, just so we can spend money towards…. barriers and raising bulkheads. But nothing TOO high because that may obstruct the aesthetics of Old Town Alexandria, and you can’t have that. And as for DC, they admit it is doable to enclose it, but it would be very expensive.

“The worry to our children is, not only will this continue, but it might accelerate pretty fast,” says [Bill] Boicourt, of the University of Maryland.

Well, y’all knew this was going to be plugged For the Children™. Yes, I’m out of shocked faces, too. They also give a shout-out to cutting emissions, too. Can’t let that tidbit be ignored. Never mind that ice breaks off when it gets too heavy, or that this past April saw record-breaking levels of ice forming in Antarctica, exceeding the past record for Antarctic ice cover by about 320,000 square kilometers. No, the ice breaking means dead polar bears somewhere and children who can no longer enjoy a trip to see the new AGW chart at the Smithsonian.

I don’t need to be a weather expert to call bullshit on this. If the possibility of DC being submerged in water were real, those Congress rats would have fled long ago.

May 8

Real Men Don’t Do This Crap, Either

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Thursday, May 8, 2014 in AssHatery, Idiotarians, Rants, terrorism

Have we as a nation become so intellectually lazy that we believe a poster can change a virulent ideology?

Has diplomacy become a meme on the internet? It would appear so, from the look of this crap.

real men poster crap

Frankly, I find this very troubling. What GOOD does a poster DO?? The people who abducted the nearly 300 girls in Nigeria DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT WE THINK. They want to kill, and maim, and rape, and abuse all in the name of their pissant of a god and for their own profit. Yes, profit. Slavery isn’t about subjugation. It’s about making money. And some stupid poster won’t do a damn thing to stop it. I have far more respect for Daryl Hannah, who has gone on her own fucking dime to hellholes in Thailand to rescue young women that have been sold for prostitution. Those metrosexuals pictured above want to “bring awareness” to the the global problem of the slave trade, but at the same time condemn their own fucking country for trying to stop the very fuckers that benefit from it. Sean Penn (net worth: $150 million) has no problem assaulting his (ex)wife, Ashton Kutcher (net worth: $140 million) has no problem cheating on his now-ex, and neither does Justin Timberlake (net worth: $115 million), probably because disrobing a female pop-star on TV sent him over the edge or something. Outside of their own personal demons, their political leanings tend to favor those who would turn a blind eye to this tragic practice.

Posing while you are on a set of your latest multimillion dollar venture does NOT impress me. It sickens me. All you have done is take five fucking minutes from your precious time and taken a vapid pic in all of your unshaven glory. It shows you for the intellectually shallow beings that y’all are.

You want to make a change? Make a difference? Then take your fucking money and GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

UPDATE COURTESY OF TIBERIUS!!!

penn hashtag lol

It would be hilarious if it weren’t true.

Apr 25

Retro Politic

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, April 25, 2014 in AssHatery, Idiotarians, Politics

A few days ago I got a “suggested page” on my social-site-with-faces-page. It was for support for Mrs. Hillary Clinton to run for Prez in 2016. I wasn’t surprised I got the suggestion for the page. After all, that site was founded by a really big supporter of Prez Obama and liberal policies. I also have quite a few liberal friends who tend to post their opinions rather vividly. Algorithms being what they are, I invariably get a ton of commie crap. Alarming AND entertaining in one package!

Anyway, this photo jumped out at me, and not because it was entertaining.

hillary poster

WHAT THE SHIT????

(more…)

Apr 18

Piss Off, and Gargle Vinegar

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, April 18, 2014 in AssHatery, Idiotarians, Politics, Rants, terrorism, Total Bullshit

One never knows what will set a woman off.

I was minding my own business yesterday, shopping for a dreaded dress to wear for my niece’s wedding (because she has told me in no uncertain terms no black, white, or dark colors. That leaves my entire closet out), when I hear a news clip about Senator Harry Reid (D- Nevada) calling those who stood with rancher Cliven Bundy “domestic terrorists“.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said he believes the supporters who rallied around Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy in his fight against the federal government are “domestic terrorists” and Bundy does not respect his country.

Searching for a dress didn’t make me upset. Getting caught in a storm didn’t get me upset. Having to cater to my youngest because she doesn’t like my cooking didn’t get me upset. Being honked at by an impatient person who wanted my parking slot didn’t get me upset. Having five Mexican nationals cut in front of me at a store pretending they didn’t see me there and snickering about getting away with “cheating the gringa” didn’t get me upset.

Don’t worry. I called them on it. And smiled while doing so.

But this? This elitist dickwrinkle telling me that people who stand in opposition to more government control are domestic terrorists???

reid arrogance

Listen, you disgusting excuse for pig offal, you are an elected official. You’re not royalty and the people of Nevada are not your subjects.

THEY ARE YOUR BOSSES.

YOU ARE THEIR SERVANT.

This is supposed to be a government of the people, for the people, and by the people. You seem to think it is a government for your personal use, to increase your graft and power over those who “don’t know any better”. Unlike you, you perverted whey-faced ass boil, the people still recall that. And because they know this bloated, debt-ridden government came with limits, and they have the utter nerve to call you on it, you decide they are terrorists? Words have meaning, you canker. Your ideological side has embraced the words of that illustrious Nobel Piss Prize winner, Yasser Arafat: one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. Remember that, you twisted scrotum sac?

Well, guess what? This country has a metric fuckton of freedom fighters, and you just managed to wake a shitton more. Welcome to the party, pal, and yippey kay AY!!

Motherfucker.

Apr 11

Sauce for the Gander

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, April 11, 2014 in Idiotarians, Open Thread

I was perusing Drudge Report this morning laughing over a shoe, a resignation, and a tantrum, when a certain link caught my eye.

University of Connecticut officials have suspended a sorority as they investigate allegations that its members forced men to drink booze, eat dog treats, paint their bodies, wear women’s underwear and take alcohol shots off each other’s bodies.

Now, at first, I had to laugh. My first thought was, “Suuuuure…. the guys were promised the Land of Plenty in return for playing along.” After all, they were members of a fraternity, and most likely have experience in what I call “quiet hazing”, where pledges have to do some weird shit in order to get in, but nothing so auspicious that the members would get arrested for harassment and hazing. But then I re-read the article again, and it gave me pause.

delta_zeta_logo_lg

What if they were threatened?

Greek mixers are a staple in colleges. One sorority invited one fraternity for a party, they make t-shirts and sell them to raise money to pay for the drinks and food. Happens all the time. But in this day and age, I can no longer assume that the guys were “promised” anything, especially when sexual harassment laws on college campuses have been twisted so much that now men carry the burden of being told they are guilty without due process, and can lose everything. I wouldn’t put it past the gals to have threatened them with rape and police enquiry if they did not participate. I am not saying that happened. But I do think that the possibility percentage has increased dramatically in the past few years.

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? :D

Mar 24

At Least It Starts With the Letter “U”

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, March 24, 2014 in Idiotarians, Politics, War

As the world watches Ukraine and Putin, and begins to wonder what happened to Georgia (the republic, not the state), our esteamed* Prez and leader of the somewhat free world decided it was time to get serious and get involved.

In Uganda.

Again.

Early Monday, the White House confirmed a Washington Post report that the U.S. was sending “associated support personnel,” and a “limited number” of CV-22 Osprey aircraft to assist local forces in their long-running battle against Kony’s Lord’s Resistance Army, or LRA. Obama sent about 100 U.S. troops to help the African forces in 2011.

The administration did not specify how many troops and aircraft would be sent to Africa, but the Post reported that the president had ordered four Osprey aircraft and 150 Air Force special operations members and airmen to Uganda.

I’m all for helping the oppressed, don’t get me wrong. But having studied Sub-Saharan African cultures, and the geography, I’m pretty freakin’ sure they will never find much less catch that Kony character anytime soon. Besides that, I have to ask, how does his capture secure the freedom of not just the people of Uganda and the Central African Republic (so-called), but also of the US? Just how is Kony a threat to Western interests? He has no nuclear capabilities, no organized army divisions, nothing but a mythical shroud to provide him cover. This is akin to the Ugandan Army sending troops to Los Angeles to capture the Hillside Stranglers.

Meanwhile, Vlad “Impale Them All” Putin is poised to go to war over Ukraine as a probable second step (don’t forget Georgia, the republic, not the state) in his quest to re-establish Russia as a superpower and making Poland, Hungary, and all the other former bloc nations very, very nervous, since the US no longer has their backs. But the Prez will write a sternly-worded letter or reprimand while trying to calm the European countries on his tour.

He will no doubt try to douse that conflagration with just enough gasoline.

* Yes, I spelled it that way on purpose ;)

Mar 10

Blind Squirrel, Etc.

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, March 10, 2014 in Idiotarians, Left Wing Media, Politics

This past Saturday evening was the 129th meeting of the Gridiron Club Dinner, a white-jacket event which is hosted by the créme de la créme of the Washington press corps.

I’ve always wondered about this club. It’s odd to have members of the press in an exclusive and elite club, when they are supposed to be open about everything. But whatever.

Anyway, the evening’s headliner was none other than Secretary of State John Kerry. In a moment of rare clarity, Monsieur Kerry delivered the ultimate burn to erstwhile king of news, CNN.

During a humorous and well-received speech, Kerry, the evening’s headliner, said that CNN’s John King had asked if the former Massachusetts Senator was considering another presidential bid in 2016.

Kerry’s response: “I am out of politics — and based on the ratings, so is CNN.”

And though mon cher Kerry wasn’t the only one to zing CNN, he was the most devastating. I must say, it was rather funny to see le bete noire Kerry beat down the channel that propped him up in the first place. A blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while, I guess.

Then again, it doesn’t take a lot of effort or fight to kick an opponent when he is on life support, either.