Headlines
Man Robs Bank Armed with McDonald's Apple Pies
Police Arrest Naked Man Found Covered in Peanut Butter & Chocolate
Man Dies After Swallowing Dentures During Sex
'Soul Train' creator Don Cornelius dead
James Farentino dies at 73
White Castle Considers Offering Beer and Wine(I thought is where people went when already drunk)
America is Drunk(someone needs to slap Dr. Keith Ablow or buy him a drink or two)
Occupiers Pissing on Churches Housing Them (Literally)
Incensed Avifauna
I don’t play Angry Birds, but my brother and I have a running joke about it. He is fanatical and sends pics of anything to do with that game. Some are obvious, and others subtle, but all are damn funny.
The Audubon take:
The Therapy take:
And my personal favorite, the Hitchcock take:
Yes, even the Angry Birds take on Hitchcock’s The Birds gives me the willies. I can’t help it!! 
Movie: Daybreakers
This is a pretty different sort of vampire movie. Most of the world’s population is vampirical and there are very few humans left. Willem Dafoe is, as usually, pretty damned good as a “cured” vampire. Now this movie does have the Evil Corporation of course, but it comes off as more of an evil Sam Neill. I’ve seen better out of Ethan Hawke but he’s ok in this.
If you like vampire stories, you should certainly watch this one. If you don’t care for vampires then at least keep an eye out for an opportunity to watch it.
Good Cop, Bad Cop
This morning I was perusing Fox News for…well, news, having heard that the two American hikers in Iran had been given 8-year sentences (why the hell haven’t we bombed this country to hell, where they want to go??), Syria has effectively told Obama that Assad is staying, so fuck off, (another country deserving of many daisies--as in daisy cutters), and Egypt is removing its ambassador from Israel. Things are coming to a head over in that sand pit. That said, something else in the site caught my eye:
Who Played the Toughest Cop?
Hm…..
I admit, I do like to watch a good cop movie, and by that, I mean a good movie about cops. Most everyone does. There is something about a good guy catching the bad guy. And when the cop is bad, you really want him to get caught and face justice, because he should know better than anyone, right?
Anyway, the list had eleven actors who portrayed police officers in film. And of course, the best cop ever was included:
But egregiously, this was NOT included:
What…The…HELL??? They include those pissants Colin Farrell and Benicio Del Toro, and even add Jake Gyllenhaal in a role that isn’t even freakin’ finished yet, but skip John “Yippee Kah Yay, Motherfucker” McClain??
What kind of a commie bastard does that?? Fucking morons, that’s who.
I may need to break my diet for this….
Movie: Drive Angry
So I saw a movie the other day…
I must warn you.. the is a bad movie. The acting is not great and some of the special effects are just horrible … but damn this movie was fun to watch. Naked women, violence, gore and language .. exactly what a movie like this is supposed to contain. Personally, I’m sick to death of Hollywood watering everything down to get a PG-13 rating. I don’t recommend you buy this movie, but you should rent it.
Here’s two reasons to watch this movie:
And here’s another:
William Fichtner easily steals the show playing The Accountant.
And since Amber Heard is in this flick, I may as well leave this here…
Two Movies: Source Code & Battle: LA
So I saw a couple of movies …
Source Code is a sort of time-travel flick about a person’s consciousness traveling back in time and occupying another person’s body. The rules are fairly simple: since the traveler is actually experiencing a parallel reality, changes do not affect the primary timeline; and second, while a traveler can make multiple trips to the same time, each trip only lasts 8 minutes.
The point of the time travel is to identify who set off a bomb on a commuter train as the train bombing is just the first of a series of attacks. On the whole, the film is well shot and visually it looks very good. The story however interesting it seemed above, is weak as shit. Some of the story’s weakness can be blamed on the movie being too short at only 93 minutes. Much more time should have been spent developing the characters to make you give a shit what happens to them. By the end of the movie you still just don’t give a damn about any of the people involved.
All of this is nothing compared to the worse offense of the movie. You have a terrorist bombing a commuter train and threatening to set of a dirty bomb in Chicago. The first suspect is a Middle Eastern looking fellow (possibly Indian) but of course, he’s not the terrorist. Next suspect is what I can only describe as the modern hipster-ish version of a dirty hippy but of course, he is also not the terrorist.
So … who is the terrorist ? I’m sure you’ve already guessed that the terrorist is a clean-cut white male who is angry at the government. Fucking Hollywood. Fuck this film.
Anyway ….
Battle: Los Angeles is a pretty damned good flick. Most of the movie is shot like a war movie. Several scenes will remind you of Blackhawk Down. A few scenes come across as sci-fi, some as scary movie scenes but the mix works well. As other conservative bloggers have mentioned about this film, it is very much pro-soldier (Marines, actually). The Marines depicted in the film are young and at times scared but they are hard-chargers and they do not run and they fight despite their fear.
“Retreat hell. We just go here.”
Aaron Eckhart’s performance stands out in this one although I’m not sure if his acting was that good, or just looked that good in comparison to the other, not-so-great actors. Most of the acting in the film is not good but the movie as a whole overcomes this.
“Shit, I’d rather be in Afghanistan.”
I recommend this movie. See it.
Movie: Glengarry Glen Ross
Glengarry Glen Ross is a 1992 independent dramatic film, adapted by David Mamet from his acclaimed 1984 Pulitzer Prize- and Tony-winning play of the same name. The film depicts two days in the lives of four real estate salesmen and how they become desperate when the corporate office sends a representative to “motivate” them by announcing that, in one week, all except the top two salesmen will be fired. The film, like the play, is notorious for its use of profanity, leading the cast to jokingly refer to the film as “Death of a Fuckin’ Salesman”. The actual title of the film comes from the names of two of the real estate developments being peddled by the salesmen characters (Glengarry Highlands and Glen Ross Farms).
This is a damned good film filled with great actors. Don’t let Alec Baldwin keep you away from this film as the above scene is the only one he’s in. Glengarry Glen Ross is more of a character piece than a plot driven story and actors like Al Pacino, Jack Lemmon, Ed Harris and Kevin Spacey are excellent in this.
Icon of the Week
This past Sunday I was flipping through the movie channels, and found one of my favorite movies playing, Mel Brooks’ To Be or Not to Be. I love Mel Brooks. He is the irreverent king of comedy. But the best thing he ever did, was marry Anne Bancroft. She was the original Cougar:
She was sultry as the leopard-print clad Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate, poetic as Helene Hanff in 84 Charing Cross Road, strong as Anne Sullivan in The Miracle Worker, and yet, had a graceful humor and comedic turn as the magnetic Anna Bronski in To Be or Not to Be.
Every Cougar since Mrs. Robinson has been a pale whisp of smoke compared to her fire. There will never be another.
More Movie Insults
Last year I posted a video of the greatest movie insults of all time. Here’s more:
Update [ArmedGeek]: Ok, I just had to steal this from Soylent Green (and xkcd).
Movie: Thursday
This is a bit of an odd movie and one that most of you have probably never heard of. From wikipedia:
The film was released to DVD in 2002 by Polygram/USA films. A week after its release, Polygram/USA Films went bankrupt, and no more than 1,000 copies of the DVD were made.
..which pretty much explains why no one ever saw it and why a DVD of it cost me $25.
The movie centers around a guy named Casey Wells (Thomas Jane) who abandoned a life of crime and went straight. He goes to college, gets married and becomes an architect. His past catches up to him on one particularly bad Thursday.
I’m not going to suggest that anyone go track down a copy of this film and slap down $25 or more for a copy, but keep your eyes open and watch it if you ever get the chance.
If the previous scene wasn’t enough to make you want to watch this movie maybe the fact that Roger Ebert hated it is a strong enough endorsement.
“It is unhip to admit to being offended by anything in the new movies, and indeed it’s pretty hard to offend me, but a film named Thursday crossed the line….”. “Watching it, I felt outrage. I saw a movie so reprehensible I couldn’t rationalize it using the standard critical language about style, genre or irony. The people associated with it should be ashamed of themselves…. There is a “plot”, but essentially the film is a series of geek-show sequences in which characters are tortured, raped, murdered and dismembered in between passages of sexist and racist language. This movie goes out of its way to be offensive--to women, Orientals, Pakistanis and especially blacks. Thursday’s attitude towards blacks is so obscene, I’m surprised that it was made in this day and age”.
Kelly’s Heroes
I love this movie. Sure it ain’t realistic and isn’t the most patriotic “war movie” but its fun and funny.
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