No matter how much progress I make, it’ll just set us back two hours.

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May 11

Broken ?

Posted by ArmedGeek on Wednesday, May 11, 2011 in News

I’ve been getting reports of the blog not working right. I have not seen any problems myself so that sorta makes it much more difficult to figure what’s wrong.

I do think there was a problem with the cache plugin that has now been updated. I think its fixed now. Anyone seeing the same problems persist, please let me know and I’ll disable the cache altogether.

Mar 24

Milestone: 6400 Comments

Posted by ArmedGeek on Thursday, March 24, 2011 in News, Uncategorized

Well, here at Hookers & Booze we’ve reached our 6400th comment.

The honor goes to mrmacs who said:

You forgot to add the following to the list of government mandated “improvements”:
clothes washers (Consumers Reports)
household thermostats (remote control by the power supplier)
cars (any number of government mandated “features”), etc.

Previous honorees:
3200th Comment -- hilljohnny
1600th Comment -- Nicole
800th Comment -- TheDudeAbides
400th Comment -- WAMK
200th Comment -- GWK
100th Comment -- LC Aggie Sith

Next stop is obviously #12800.

Mar 23

Elizabeth Taylor Dies at 79

Posted by ArmedGeek on Wednesday, March 23, 2011 in Entertainment, News

Mar 5

Ultra SHEEN!!!

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Saturday, March 5, 2011 in AssHatery, Celebutards, News, Total Bullshit

Just when you thought society could go no lower, you find yourself mistaken:

Seriously, he should be put out of his misery.

 

Mar 5

Sorry.

Posted by ArmedGeek on Saturday, March 5, 2011 in News

The one time I actually sleep at night and the fucking server goes down.  Sorry for the downtime.  I’ll start looking into what caused that.

In an effort to make it up to y’all, here’s a couple of vintage Hookers courtesy of jam2.

Dec 22

Monkey on Your Back

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Wednesday, December 22, 2010 in News, Teh Funny

Lately, I have been slacking off about news and politics. My bad. Too much crap going on in the world, and too much stuff going on at Casa de Aggie. Besides, y’all hear the news pretty much when I do, so posting news you’ve already read would be like regurgitating cud, and friends don’t do that to each other. So, YOU’RE WELCOME!!

Anyway, I was looking around Drudge and had to post this:

HAWKINS DEPUTIES WRANGLE MONKEYS AT METH LAB RAID


Had this been posted on April 1st, I could have been forgiven for thinking it was a prank. But no…Only in Tennessee is this a legitimate headline.

Narcotics Unit supervisor Sgt. Chad Gillenwater said deputies pulled into Givan’s driveway and were met by Givan outside. Officers immediately detected the odor of meth manufacturing not only from the residence, but from Givan himself, Gillenwater added.

Givan signed a consent to search form, at which time he allegedly stated to deputies, “When you go up there I’m going away for a long time.”

Wow, a friendly neighborhood meth dealer who is also considerate to the police force. Either the guy was higher than Hubble, or he is a few fries short of a Happy Meal, sans toy, of course.

Deputies also found four monkeys in the home, which Givan reportedly keeps as pets. Gillenwater said the exact type of monkey was unknown, although he said three were smaller, around 20 pounds, and one was larger, about 50 pounds.

The Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency was called in to investigate the legality of owning the monkeys. Gillenwater said it was determined that the monkeys were not illegal, and they were placed in the custody of Givan’s wife, who was not implicated in the meth lab and was not charged.

Gillenwater noted, however, that the monkeys were aggressive toward officers and actually ripped a TWRA officer’s jacket.

Anyone else wonder about that? How in the world can the wife of a meth dealer not be aware of the lab in her own home??? As for the monkeys, of course they are hostile. They fling shit at you, screech at 1278 decibels, and have been known to be cannibalistic. DON’T FUCK WITH THE MONKEYS, EVER!!!

I do not expect the people of Tennessee to learn, though.

Dec 13

Time to reign in regulatory agencies

Posted by ArmedGeek on Monday, December 13, 2010 in News, Politics

Fuck the FDA (from FoxNews):

The announcement came as the FDA is expected to find as early as Wednesday that caffeine is an unsafe food additive to alcoholic drinks. That finding essentially would ban Four Loko and other drinks like it.

The FDA ruling “should be the nail in the coffin of these dangerous and toxic drinks,” Sen. Chuck Schumer, who has pushed the Obama administration to ban the beverages, said Tuesday.

What exactly is there to stop the FDA from just banning alcohol ? Aside from the riots, I mean.

Fuck the FCC (also from FoxNews):

In his speech Monday Genachowski said, in order to “preserve the freedom and openness of the Internet,” the proposed FCC measures would forbid Internet service providers from blocking “lawful content” or manipulating “which ideas or companies win or lose on the Internet.”

The chairman also announced for the first time that he supports allowing providers to sell premium rates for faster service, which some critics characterize as toll roads favoring the rich at the expense of the poor.

The two Democratic commissioners on the FCC, who have supported similar regulatory efforts, are not offering their opinions on the draft rules just yet, which will continue to evolve over the next 3 weeks. The FCC is scheduled to vote on the proposal Dec. 21. Genachowski needs 3 votes to pass the plan.

So what’s to stop the FCC from imposing “Fairness Doctrine” type rules on the internet ? Other than the riots, I mean.

Cocksuckers know they cannot pass laws regarding these issues so its left to regulatory agencies to make up new “laws”.

Nov 8

Scientists research the female orgasm: Real or Myth ?

Posted by ArmedGeek on Monday, November 8, 2010 in News

Seriously, scientists are looking into exactly what happens in a woman’s brain when they have an orgasm. My comments are added in bold type.

The first scan revealing exactly what happens inside a woman’s brain when she has an orgasm has been developed by scientists.

They have discovered that sexual arousal numbs the female nervous system to such an extent that she doesn’t feel as much pain – only pleasure. [I've known a lot of women who desire much rougher treatment at or near an orgasm.]

American researchers found that the orgasm affects up to 30 different parts of the brain including those responsible for emotion, touch, joy, satisfaction and memory. [Joy, satisfaction, touch seem pretty obvious. Emotion, I suppose sheds light on why women want to cuddle. Memory here is the interesting one for me.]

The team from Rutgers University, New Jersey, now hope to be able to map what typically happens inside a woman’s brain when she has an orgasm.

This could enable them to pinpoint what is going wrong among those with problems of sexual dysfunction or low libido.

They also want to build up a similar picture for men so they can compare how the sensation affects the male and female brains.

Evidence suggests women experience longer orgasms than men, and can have several in quick succession. [Yeah, those of us that have actually been with women already knew this. Thanks, science.]

The researchers asked eight women to stimulate themselves while lying under a blanket inside an Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) scanner, a tunnel-like machine often used to detect brain tumours. [How do people find these jobs?]

Most women took less than five minutes to reach an orgasm although some took as long as 20.

During that time, the MRI scanner took images of their brain every two seconds to show which parts became active during the orgasm.

The scientists found that two minutes before the orgasm, the brain’s reward centres become active, the areas usually activated when eating food and drink. [I wonder if this gives substance to the "chocolate thing".]

Immediately before they reached the peak, other areas of the brain became affected such as the sensory cortex, which receives ‘touch’ messages from parts of the body and the thalamus, which relays signals to other parts of the body.

Once the orgasm has started other parts of the brain are activated such as those responsible for emotion -- the cingulate cortex and the insula.

The final part of the brain to be activated is the hypothalamus, the ‘control’ part of the brain which regulates temperature, hunger, thirst and tiredness.

At the same time another area responsible for pleasure is activated -- the nucleus accumbens -- as well as the caudate nucleus, which is responsible for memory.

Via JammieWearingFool.

I guess most of this is just scientists telling us what we already knew. However, I think more research is called for and I’m currently taking applications for test subjects.

Nov 6

Olby out at MSNBC

Posted by ArmedGeek on Saturday, November 6, 2010 in News, Politics

From Mediaite via Ace:

Statement from Phil Griffin, President of MSNBC:

I became aware of Keith’s political contributions late last night. Mindful of NBC News policy and standards, I have suspended him indefinitely without pay.

First I have to say that anyone losing their job over political donations is bullshit. Shitcanning Olberman over donations is no better than shitcanning Juan Williams over things he said on Fox News.

However …. I don’t believe for one moment that Olby’s situation has anything at all to do with political donations. One look at the man’s television ratings and anyone would say he should have been kicked to the curb a long long time ago.

The political donations is simply a documented violation of NBC’s ethics policy that would give them legal coverage for kicking this idiot out of the building. Honestly, I’m a bit surprised that MSNBC hasn’t done a “format change” or a “retooling” of their channel as a means of throwing everyone out of the building.

UPDATE: Well, that didn’t last long.

Aug 30

Study: Heavy drinkers outlive non-drinkers

Posted by ArmedGeek on Monday, August 30, 2010 in News

Good news! [Yahoo! News]

One of the most contentious issues in the vast literature about alcohol consumption has been the consistent finding that those who don’t drink actually tend to die sooner than those who do. The standard Alcoholics Anonymous explanation for this finding is that many of those who show up as abstainers in such research are actually former hard-core drunks who had already incurred health problems associated with drinking.

But a new paper in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research suggests that -- for reasons that aren’t entirely clear -- abstaining from alcohol does actually tend to increase one’s risk of dying even when you exclude former drinkers

I’ve often wondered myself if these studies were skewed by “recovering alcoholics”.

Moderate drinking, which is defined as one to three drinks per day, is associated with the lowest mortality rates in alcohol studies.

There’s lots and lots of good stuff over there so go read it.

Via: Drudge