Headlines
MAIG Cooridinators Paid as City Employees
Robin Gibbs Dead
Donna Summer - Dead at 63
Vidal Sassoon assumes room temperature
A final grand but sad salute to US space supremacy
Dick Clark - who's got him?
Only in Wisconsin: Drunk 80 Year Old Hits Beer Truck
Anybody have Mike Wallace?
Medical Horror Stories…
…I haz none. Really. I have racked my brain trying to come up with something like Mel or like Curtal Friar. I think Mel is going to win this challenge, if “winning” is the right word! I have given birth three times, and though I opted to not have an epidural with the girls, I was forced to with my son. That rotten bastard of a quack doctor insisted. I was bent in half and the fucker broke three needles trying to get it in because he was too stupid to listen to me when I was wheezing to him to stop because HOLY FUCK I HAVE FUSED LUMBARS ASSHOLE!!! Anyway, even that experience pales in comparison to Mel’s. I have never broken a bone; I don’t have allergies; I have only been in a couple of accidents and luckily, not bad ones; aside childbirth I’ve only had one surgical procedure, and it was a day patient one at that.
As I type this, I get the feeling I am totally jinxing my life. FFFFUUUUUU……… Thanks a lot, Mel!
They Say It’s Your Birthday!!!
Yes, yes it was 
And I had a great day! Family and friends called constantly, interrupting me all day, wanting to wish me a happy birthday. Usually I try to forget/ erase my birthdays. Something always goes wrong. One year my parents totally forgot for three days. My sisters have mistaken the date. My brother….well, he’s a bit busy living his life, but he remembers, especially when his mom gives him a reminder call. Anyway, since ArmedGeek gave me admin priviledges, I figure I can abuse them once in a while, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! 
It’s the least I can do for y’all
Boozing and Bitching
Well, this morning started not so smoothly. Getting a call from one of your kids’ teachers is not conducive to starting one’s day on a happy note. Problem resolved, but the aftertaste of that is still with me, and affected my day in small ways. I yelled at my dogs for begging while I was fixing breakfast. I yelled at the TV while they were talking about a robbery in Michigan that resulted in school lockdowns. I yelled at my cell phone because it was staticky. In short, I was short in stature and temper today. So, how does one get that awful mood out of one’s system? Usually I go shopping, but Christmas is coming, so I can’t indulge in crap for me. Eating is out, since I have Halloween parties and Thanksgiving coming up, and that’s deadly enough. Oh, right…. BOOZE!!!!!!
Yes, booze does have calories, and yes, overindulging can lead to unpleasant aches in the morning. Booze can also be a crap shoot because you may feel the want to try something new, and be severely disappointed, like buying Lucky Lager beer because the label “spoke” to you, and finding that it tastes like horse piss strained through a sweatsock. TRUE STORY!!! Not my story, but true, nonetheless. Booze can be a great facilitator, like while cooking with wine, sometimes you’ll be inspired to put it in the dish you are creating. GOOD TIMES!!! So, it can be fun. I tend to limit myself to one drink whenever I indulge, so it has to be enjoyable. Since I’m not in the mood to experiment with anything, I’m sticking to my standard:
I'll be drinking one, but seeing three after I'm done.
I do prefer darker beers. Actually, I prefer to have a good day so as not to need one. But I’ll need one tonight. Otherwise tomorrow’s OT might be a bit bitchy
IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!111ELEVENTY!!!: (more…)
Challenge of the Sith
About a year back, ArmedGeek was kind enough to post some honest things about himself, in answer to a challenge from C Monster. I remember reading that and thinking to myself (since I was afraid to comment anything on that thread) “Holy shit!!!” But in retrospect it was a fun read, and we learned a lot about our host here 
Anyway, what’s good for the goose is certainly good for the gander, right? Besides, perusing the headlines today was futile, and Open Thread Friday is not until, well, Friday. So, here goes my exercise in stupidity:
1) I was not a chocolate addict until well into my thirties. SHAME!!!! To think I wasted so much damn chocolate….
2) I am very fond of owls. I don’t know why, but I do know Harry Potter had nothing to do with it.
3) I do enjoy libations and the art of the cocktail, but tend to be a lightweight. Skeletons pour themselves out of the closet.
4) I have been known to yell at traffic. I yell at traffic lights, even traffic signs. Not pretty.
5) My parents named me after a movie character. It could have been worse. They had seen Carmen at the theater, and I would not wish to be named after that backstabbing two-timing bitch.
6) My favorite book is Wuthering Heights. I cry every single time I read it, too.
7) I hide behind my hair…. my feeble attempt to keep my secret identity secret.
8 ) I don’t like ketchup. No, I’m not a communist…though it can be argued those who do like ketchup are commies because that stuff is RED.
9) I have to have coffee in the morning, otherwise I get…. cranky. And by “cranky” I mean “Linda Blair.”
10) I have moles on my back, and several form the Big Dipper.
So there you have it: ten strange factoids about Aggie. Anyone else care to take up the gauntlet?? Anyone? BUELLER???
Conversations
Sometimes it pays to stay in bed. Take today, for example. My mom calls from my sister’s house and asks if I have extra lightbulbs. I didn’t have the kind she needed, so off I went to Lowe’s. As I stand in front of the wall of bulbs, an employee comes to my aid:
Employee: Good morning. Can I help you find what you need?
Me: I just need a box of clear 40 watt lightbulbs.
Employee: We carry the new CFL bulbs, but they don’t come in clear.
Me: I don’t want CFLs, thanks, just plain.
Employee: Well, CFLs save you money in the long run, and last longer.
Me: I need them for my glass chewing act, and I don’t think ingesting mercury is in my best interest.
Employee: …….
Me: Oh, here they are. Thanks for your help!
After paying for them, I took them to my mom, who lamented the fact that I was not properly dressed to go out anywhere:
Mom: You went to the store like that?
Me: Yes….is this a trick question?
Mom: Who saw you?
Me: Uh, the salespeople….
Mom: Well, you should have worn nice clothes, and make-up.
Me: I was at LOWE’S!!
Mom: You’re almost 4?*. You need to take better care of your looks.
Me: ……..
This is not really bad, though. My MIL called last night and laid a guilt trip on me for not calling during tropical storm Hermine to let her know we were ok. I told her I would have called after the storm, but it was no good. Logic is her enemy. She once told her kids to vacuum the floor before a hurricane hit, because she wanted the floodwater to be clean. I just waited until I could have a large glass of wine. I deserved one last night, and by Deity, I’ll deserve one tonight.
* Let me pretend to care about divulging my age
I have issues
I have issues. Lots of them. In the forefront of my issues is people. I don’t generally like people. Not liking people is not always what one would call “an issue”, but I happen to also be damned lonely. I don’t actually want to hate people.
I have an idea. Throughout the month of July I will meet people, talk to them at random, introduce myself at every opportunity. I’m going to make a concerted effort to rejoin the human race.
The problem is that I’m prejudiced. I’m not racist. I could give a fuck about race or ethnicity, but I do prejudge people. I see their clothes, their behavior, hear their language, and think, “I’d rather hit that person with a baseball bat than talk to them.” That’s a pretty shitty attitude towards folks.
Communication
I’m not married. Even when I was married, I wasn’t really married.
I do watch a lot of movies and TV shows. Generally most of their problems can be solved via communication. Is this lack of communication just faked for the effect or do couples actually operate this way ?
Example: 40 year old couple, married for 15-20 years, one teenager one almost teen, woman gets knocked up ….. is each honest about what they want ? Do you tell the partner what you think they want to hear, or do you tell them what you feel ?
What secrets do you keep ? When you were just married, what secrets did you keep ?
A Very Productive Day….
Yes, I know. This blog isn’t about me. However, there are times when Life deals a sorry hand, and one is forced to acknowledge that one is just a cog in the machine…a tiny, itty bitty thread in the web Fate weaves. Take today, for example. My mornings are usually pretty standard: I get up, get Hubby his tea, feed the dog, get the kids going, play taxi, after which I sit down at the laptop and scour the web for news, and visit my favorite blogs, commenting along the way. Sometimes I even do housework! THIS was one of those days. I set out with the best of intentions, y’all. I really, REALLY did. I did two loads of laundry, cleaned a bit, and then this afternoon decided to go all domestic and bake bread. This is what transpired:
I came back from checking the mail, thinking, “Mmmm…baking bread sounds GOOOOD!!”
I start measuring everything out. I clean out the bread machine (ok, not very domestic of me, but shit…baking bread takes FOREVER).
The doohickey, AKA mixing blade is missing. I set down the measuring cups with the water and the oil, and start looking around for it, because I JUST SAW IT YESTERDAY!!
I look around the bread machine, and hit the cup with water, sploshing it everywhere on the counter. SHIT!
I frantically get a dry towel, and start to swipe in huge swaths, hitting the cup with the oil. In my haste to catch the two tablespoons of oil, I hit the oil bottle, which was not capped. Needless to say, this resulted in oil sploshing onto the floor, more than two tablespoons’ worth.
I race to get yet another dishtowel, forgetting for a brief nanosecond THE OIL ON THE FLOOR.
My foot slips, and I land on my derriere. By this time, expletives were flying like flour around the kitchen. The dog gets up from her sunny spot and ambles into the kitchen, with a “WTF is going on??” look on her face. I don’t need my dog to question me right now, especially since she tends to eat dirt, hairballs, and trash.
I get up, run to the laundry room, and strip. I take the clothing soaked in oil and douse it in SHOUT!, praying the oil doesn’t set. I return to clean the mess on the floor, only to find the dog licking the oil. She’s a dumbass.
I gather her by her collar, and lock her up in her kennel, until I finally clean up the floor. Only then do I realize I am still in a state of deshabille. I get dressed, and being the conventional gal that I am, I continue to measure more water and oil, and commence baking a loaf of bread, only to realize I HAVEN’T FOUND THE DOOHICKEY YET!! GAH!!!
Calming down, I ask myself, “If I were this doohickey, where would I be?” And lo, and behold, I find it in one of the little baskets I use to stash the little crap that accumulates around the counters. Thanks be to GOD!! If I had not found it, I would have eaten flour. I was that desperate to have fresh bread.
Stay tuned for tomorrow, when I attempt to make homemade biscuits….
/sbin/shutdown -h now
Time for me to unplug for a while.
How Do You…
How do you explain God to someone who doesn’t believe ?
I must admit that I lean towards the agnostic, but atheists bother me more than the devout. If the Christian Bible is correct, then the devout has the advantage over the atheists, but if the Bible is wrong, then both are equal. Heh. Obviously, the devout hold the advantage.
This is why I don’t get the ANTI-God. And I type it that way cause that’s the way the non-believers tend to put it. They try like hell to couch it in “LOGIC”, but logic really dictates that you take no position at all. There simply is no way to know. This is why atheists are nuts and Christians are iffy. Atheists are taking a position based on absolutely nothing. NOTHING. There is no science, no theory, no suggestion that God does not exist. At least Christians are open minded.
I try always to have faith. I really do. The logical brain I was given dictates a need for evidence, but apparently faith is a requirement. Faith without evidence is hard for me. I like to think that there is some reason, some point to life. That we’re not just some accident. Mostly, I hope/pray that there is an afterlife. Death scares the shit out of me. I’m mostly fearless. I don’t scare easy, and I’ve risked my life often when I thought something needed doing. The thought of no longer existing scares the hell out of me and almost nothing scares me.
I have a hard time believing that I’m just some sort of happy accident. It seems odd to me that the very people that scoff at the lottery think that “we” “just happened”.
There’s the “money quote” btw. Atheists, or the “educated” laugh at the state lottery as “a tax for people that are bad at math”, yet think humanity “just happened”. Here’s the kicker …. folks win the lottery. Yep the odds are against any one person from winning, but the odds are just as for someone winning. The Left misses this as well as they miss God.
My understanding is that as long as I accept Jesus as having taken punishment for my sins that I am good/am golden/may as well be Jewish (Jews being the chosen people getting to opt out of the Jesus exception).
I’ve never been much of a church-going type, but I watched Passion of the Christ at the theater on the big screen …. I rate that as disturbing as watching Blackhawk Down at the theater on the big screen (which I did). I think the intent of both films was the same. To allow (as much as is possible) the viewer to witness the events portrayed. But what do you take from that? What are you supposed to take from it?
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