A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Wow…that was fun!”

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Apr 18

Piss Off, and Gargle Vinegar

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, April 18, 2014 in AssHatery, Idiotarians, Politics, Rants, terrorism, Total Bullshit

One never knows what will set a woman off.

I was minding my own business yesterday, shopping for a dreaded dress to war for my niece’s wedding (because she has told me in no uncertain terms no black, white, or dark colors. That leaves my entire closet out), when I hear a news clip about Senator Harry Reid (D- Nevada) calling those who stood with rancher Cliven Bundy “domestic terrorists“.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said he believes the supporters who rallied around Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy in his fight against the federal government are “domestic terrorists” and Bundy does not respect his country.

Searching for a dress didn’t make me upset. Getting caught in a storm didn’t get me upset. Having to cater to my youngest because she doesn’t like my cooking didn’t get me upset. Being honked at by an impatient person who wanted my parking slot didn’t get me upset. Having five Mexican nationals cut in front of me at a store pretending they didn’t see me there and snickering about getting away with “cheating the gringa” didn’t get me upset.

Don’t worry. I called them on it. And smiled while doing so.

But this? This elitist dickwrinkle telling me that people who stand in opposition to more government control are domestic terrorists???

reid arrogance

Listen, you disgusting excuse for pig offal, you are an elected official. You’re not royalty and the people of Nevada are not your subjects.

THEY ARE YOUR BOSSES.

YOU ARE THEIR SERVANT.

This is supposed to be a government of the people, for the people, and by the people. You seem to think it is a government for your personal use, to increase your graft and power over those who “don’t know any better”. Unlike you, you perverted whey-faced ass boil, the people still recall that. And because they know this bloated, debt-ridden government came with limits, and they have the utter nerve to call you on it, you decide they are terrorists? Words have meaning, you canker. Your ideological side has embraced the words of that illustrious Nobel Piss Prize winner, Yasser Arafat: one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. Remember that, you twisted scrotum sac?

Well, guess what? This country has a metric fuckton of freedom fighters, and you just managed to wake a shitton more. Welcome to the party, pal, and yippey kay AY!!

Motherfucker.

Apr 4

Social Toxicity

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, April 4, 2014 in Open Thread, Rants, Teh Funny

Social sites are like a gory train wreck.

ZOMG!!! THE HUGE MANATEE!!! I JUST CAN’T LOOK AWAY!!!111ELEVENTY!!!

The drama is as rich as chocolate ganache poured over tiramisu that has been infused with three cups of Khalua™ after soaking in sweetened espresso. But unlike that delish tiramisu of my dreams, the drama is never ending.

fb drama lol

I just don’t get it. Even the friends who are most stable and normal succumb to it. I don’t understand how it is that Person A can tell me, Person B, they are doing fine to my face, but 15 minutes later are posting about how their world has come to a screeching halt because Person B couldn’t see that Person A is hurting through the brave face she shows the world, and was too selfish to make the effort to find out what was wrong with Person A.

I’m sorry, but what the ever loving FUCK?? I don’t need that shit on my social site page. No one does. If someone has a problem with someone else, take it up with them, PRIVATELY. Honestly, at times like that, I feel like deleting my page and you know, living my life.

But then a shitstorm of drama happens and I just can NOT look away.

And do y’all enjoy the drama? There is popcorn to be had :D

Mar 21

A Query For the Quorum

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, March 21, 2014 in blogosphere, Open Thread, Rants

That makes no sense, except that I wanted to use the letter “Q” in the title today. It’s a title as good as any, right? But it is not without merit. We are predictable in this here blog. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays have predetermined themes, and Cthulhu forbid I stray from Wednesday’s theme, ever. Y’all would hunt me down like a pack of rabid coyotes and set my world on fire. Maybe. But technically that leaves three days in which to write about current events, or politics, or even….

…..religion……

embarrassed-polar-bear

…..maybe. Booze is a great topic but y’all don’t care much for girlie drinks, and The Blog Boss won’t be returning for a while as yet, so you’ll have to deal with frou-frou drinks until then. So the questions (Hurray for the letter “Q”!!) for today is: would y’all like to see posts on the weekends, and if so, what topics do y’all want covered?

I bet BC will chime in with some interesting topics :D

Mar 7

Well, Damn…

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, March 7, 2014 in AssHatery, Celebutards, Idiotarians, Rants

Look at that. It’s Friday and time for the Open Thread.

Today’s OT deals with entitlement. Specifically, that young woman who felt the need to sue her parents after storming out of her home in a huff.

rachel lol

I’m not a fan, as you can tell. I read an interview with her father, a former police chief, who claimed he was a very liberal parent, and only wished HIS parents had been so lenient.

Hey, Chief Barbrady, that is WHY your spawn felt the want to sue your ass.

I don’t care about this family at all. They all deserve each other. As far as I’m concerned, the parents should pay for her shit as punishment for raising such a princess, and in return, she should be forced to go to a public school in Trenton and state college.

What fitting punishment would you give them??

Feb 17

Irked

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, February 17, 2014 in AssHatery, Celebutards, Government, Rants

Yes, I am thoroughly irked.

Some days ago, a celebutard whose career had stalled came out of the closet and declared her gayness over the media, and everyone went batshit. This right after some NFL hopeful came out of his closet to embrace his sexuality. These announcements dominated headlines for days, and in places they still do. And anyone who complains about the notoriety they are receiving gets shunned as an intolerant bigoted hater.

Meanwhile, protests in Ukraine, Syria, and Venezuela are beyond bloody, and most people remain ignorant and unaware. A bus of Korean Christians on tour in the Holy Land gets bombed by a suicide jackass, and no one hears about it. A co-pilot hijacks an Ethiopian airplane causing a mad scramble by several countries’ fighter jets, because he wanted asylum. Sweet Meteor of Death is going to zoom quite close to this planet, but not close enough. And in that other world we call Inside the Beltway, Republicans know that our Prez is violating the Constitution, but acknowledged they likely have no way to stop him, so they won’t even try.

Yes, I am irked. I do not care if you are straight or gay. If you are honest with yourself about your sexuality, good for you. Be proud, and move the fuck on. It is none of my business if you are gay or straight, or asexual for that matter. It is only YOUR business.You want me to cheer for you? Give of yourself, without thought of credit. I may get shit for this but in my opinion, coming out of the closet makes you look like an attention whore. You want it to be acceptable? Then be normal about it. No need to announce it to the fucking planet.

This celebrity cult we spawned is a death cult. We are ignoring the signs of our country’s demise in favor of who wore it best, or who vacationed where, or which bitch is the tackiest housewife of Beverly Jersey. It galls me that people know more about Charlie Sheen’s porn star fiancee than they do about their own country’s fiscal death spiral.

Jan 24

Olympic Styling, or How to Embarrass the American People

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, January 24, 2014 in Open Thread, Rants

Good Lord A’mighty.

winter olympic uniform gal

THAT is what the American Olympians will be wearing at the opening ceremonies in Sochi. In short, the mother of all ugly sweaters paired with sweatpants and fuck ugly boots. About the only redeeming item is the turtleneck. This is the main reason I don’t wear anything by Ralph Lauren. The ostentatiousness of it leaves the taste of bitter almonds laced with battery acid in my mouth. Bad enough that the blazers he designed for the 2012 Olympics had a gargantuan Polo Pony embroidered above the right breast. Now he has to go and design possibly the worst outfit evah and still manage to emblazon his initials on the pant leg.

(Ok, I took a break while scouring the internet and found this. Maybe this is not the worst that could have been.)

Still, I do miss the certain American style that we had cultured over the years. It was understated, yet it managed to imprint what our society stands for without having to scream it like a banshee in heat.

1980 winter olympic uniform

Remember those? Lake Placid, 1980. Designed by Levi’s, who also designed the 1984 Winter Olympic team uniforms. THOSE uniforms were the embodiment of Americanism. My dad saw them and his first words were, “Huh, they look American, finally”. Yes, FINALLY. And now we rely on some “fashion designer” who is more concerned with product placement? Seriously, who paid $795 for the 2012 blazer? That blazer was the 1980′s prom dress in the Paris fashion show that was the 2012 Winter Olympics.

Honestly, we have gone from exceptional to hipstery douchebaggery. I have plaid pants that have more balls than those uniforms.

And what say y’all?

Jan 6

The Football Bitching Post

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, January 6, 2014 in *spit* BCS, Football, Rants

These past few weeks I have been enjoying the college bowl games. I admit sports drama is kinda fun to watch. The Aggies managed to pull off a win, and t.u. managed to screw the pooch. I cried for the Tide, and for the first time in the history of this Aggie, I am rooting for Auburn to crush that Florida team.

I admit I am not well versed in the rules of college football. But there are some things that drive me absolutely batshit about them.

classy lady then football lol

I do not for the life of me understand the whole “holding” penalty. I know what it is, mind you. I just don’t understand why it’s called on sometimes but not others. I guess it just depends on the degree to which one gets held.

And WTF is the matter with excessive celebration? They just scored a freakin’ TOUCHDOWN!! If they want to dance like a bunch of squirrels on acid, that’s on them and Instagram. That should be punishment enough.

Speaking of touchdowns, the one thing that REALLY pisses me off is that whole “crossing the plane” shit. No, just NO!! You want to score a touchdown, you get your feet and the rest of your ass INSIDE the endzone. If you are going to do that plane shit, why not add the sidelines and the first down to it? Ball crosses those planes, and it should count as going out of bounds or making the first down, respectively. Don’t be selective on crossing planes. Add all planes or none at all. Quit being pussies about touchdowns. If that “crossing the plane” shit was removed, scores would go from being 48-52 to being 10-3.

Ok, I think I’m done. I know y’all will probably roll your eyes at this post and try to explain things to me, but be advised: Hubby has tried for years, and failed.

And so did Emmitt Smith ;)

Dec 6

Pee-Shopped

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, December 6, 2013 in Celebutards, Open Thread, Rants

No, this post is not about urine. It’s about Photoshop™, the greatest scourge ever set loose upon the human female population.

Yesterday, my Little One asked me for a baby photo of hers to take in for her journalism class. They are working on the yearbook, and as editors they get to do a fun baby page. And I was looking forward to it until she told me she was going to “photoshop” it.

Me: WHAT??

LO: I have to photoshop it.

Me: But why? The picture is perfect.

LO: No it’s not. My cheeks are too shiny and a strand of hair is sticking straight up.

Me: THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT ADORABLE!!

LO: *sighs* You just don’t understand, Mom. Every photo must be photoshopped for the yearbook.

Me: Well, that’s just silly. What is the point if every photo has to meet a standard of perfection??

Personally, I enjoy using the application on my phone. I love to change the color and add an outline and make pics black and white. But I do NOT understand the need to brush away imperfections to the point of making you look like a totally different person.

I mean, seriously?

madonna pshop

What the ever-loving whale dong is THAT?? Madonna is 6,387 years old and everyone knows this. Why would you try to make her look 22??

I hate that women and quite a few men rely on Photoshop™. In my opinion, you are just living a lie. What say y’all??

Nov 18

Monday Morning LOL

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, November 18, 2013 in AssHatery, Idiotarians, Left Wing Media, Rants

I love perusing the social-site-with-faces. I get to see the funny stuff, get news links with you know, ACTUAL NEWS, updates about family and friends, and of course, the requisite LSD-fueled screeds that just make my mornings.

This Monday’s entry is from none other than the Puffy Ho®. Y’all can go look for it. I can’t link it here. I just showered and we are under water restrictions. Again. Anyway, it is titled, 12 Reasons Why Obama is One of the Best Presidents Ever.

Quit laughing. I haven’t even started fisking it yet. He begins with duality.

With tears in my eyes, and joy in my heart, I stood alongside people of color across the nation as we celebrated America’s first inauguration of a black president. As a young black man, I felt a true sense of patriotism as I witnessed our country rally together to show, finally, that we are more concerned about who is the most qualified man for the job, regardless of race or age.

Uh huh. So you are happy a black guy won but it has NOTHING to do with race. Got it.

He goes on to say that sure, the Prez has had a few missteps, just like any other president. He says that after he claims the predecessor was a “colossal failure”, ok? And then, hilarity ensues.

1-- He is one for The People.

As long as “The People” means his campaign contributors and apologists, sure.

2-- He is for civil rights.

Tell that to those still screaming for same sex marriage, to the whistleblowers who are in hiding for outing the NSA, and TEA Party members being given a colonoscopy by the IRS.

3-- He is for one race -the human race.

I did snarf at this. Thoughts of George Zimmerman, Sgt. James Crowley, the people threatened by the Black Panthers all come to mind. And if you think of that too, then you’re RACIST!!!

4-- He is for a healthcare system that brings hope and healing to the hurting.

But you can’t hope to keep your insurance or your doctor.

5-- He is for the middle class.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

*sniff, chortle*

BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Sorry, I can’t help it. Better to laugh than to think of the total debt accruing on the middle class’ shoulders.

6-- He is for women’s rights.

Meanwhile not a peep from him regarding the vile comments made at conservative women, such as Sarah Palin. But Hera forbid anyone take a swipe at Sandra Fluke and her $3,000 contraception.

7-- He is for doing away with pomp and circumstance.

Golfing, million dollar vacations, and monthly concerts by hip musicians do not count. And the Greek columns couldn’t be reached for comment.

8-- He is for the environment.

I don’t know about y’all, but I’m still waiting for the oceans to recede and the planet to heal.

9-- He is for veterans.

This, as he makes suggestions to change the benefits and attempts to charge them for their healthcare. This, as he shuts them out of their own memorial. By the way, how many brass have been fired now??

10-- He is for peace.

Syria, the Arab Spring, Iran, Afghanistan, Benghazi…..

11-- He is for education.

Common Core, anyone?

12-- He is for entertaining the masses.

TOTUS could not be reached for comment.

If y’all feel like reading the article, it’s under The Blog at the Puffy Ho®. But best be prepared to spew your drink and take a long shower afterwards.

 

Nov 9

More Like Tom Trippin’

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Saturday, November 9, 2013 in AssHatery, Celebutards, Rants, Total Bullshit

Most of y’all know I don’t care much for Tom Cruise. I think he is an over-rated, egotistical peacock with the cranial capacity of a toadstool. But that’s just me. To this day I have never seen Top Gun, and can’t for the life of me figure out what Mimi Rodgers, Nicole Kidman, and Katie Holmes were using before they entered the Rehab of Normal Life™. Anyway, I was always content to just ignore him and give a pass to his entire filmography. Until I read this.

Tom says his location shoots are just like serving a tour in Afghanistan, “That’s what it feels like. And certainly on this last movie, it was brutal. It was brutal.”

What the ever loving FUCK?????

You DARE compare yourself to a soldier serving in Afghanistan??

You, who makes upwards $20 million a movie??

You, who has assistants at every turn??

You, who manages to have a mansion in Beverly Hills, an “estate” in Telluride, AND a condo you are trying to sell in New York City??

You, who owns a jet AND a Aviat – Pitts S-2B P-51 Mustang?? A FUCKING P-51 MUSTANG???

You, who drives around in a Bugatti Veyron because the Porche isn’t good enough??

You dare to compare yourself to an American Soldier?? A man who signs away his very LIFE so people like YOU can spout off your ignorance? A man who is lucky if his paycheck comes through each month? A man who has to live on that paltry $25K??? A man who will volunteer to fight an enemy there, just so that enemy can’t hurt the likes of people like YOU over here??

FUCK THAT ON A STICK WITH HOT SAUCE!!!

This particular Army wife thinks that you are so full of ignorant shit,  giving you an enema would leave a pair of eyebrows. You have proven to the world what a complete and total jackass you are, and there will be no recovering from that. So please, go fuck yourself. Until such time as you are willing to stand in the path of a bullet for your brother in arms, or take the blast of a grenade to save the life of an Afghan child, or even go out and become the target of an unknown enemy, uncertain if you’ll survive long enough to see tomorrow, go find a couch to violate.

UPDATE:

Screenshot of the deposition:

radar online cruise

I am willing to give Mr. Cruise some veracity in thinking that being apart from your child is brutal. The comparison he chose to accept (since it was done by his counsel most likely at his request) is still appalling by virtue of the fact that he still compares missing his child, whom he can see when he wishes, and whom he has chosen to not see as often due to the demands of his work schedule, to a soldier who HAS to miss his child by virtue of the fact that HE is in a war zone. You may argue that the soldier also chose his profession knowing the risks.

But there is a difference between a choice made to help protect our freedoms, and a choice made to charge people $15 for a movie ticket.