There is an issue with reaching the deadpool site at the moment. You can get there from here: http://deadpool.hookersandbooze.com/. Apologies…
Popular psychologist, columnist, and television and film personality Joyce Brothers has died. She was…
When it rains, you should expect a hurricane.
His improv was awesome, his delivery precise, and his humor extraordinary. I was one of his many fans…
Roger Ebert dead at 70 of cancer according to the Chicago Sun-Times
So I’m looking for a bike. A cruiser to be precise. Advice?
Update: Y’all can have this too.
So, I’m shopping.
I don’t do Black Friday, or Swamped Saturday. I sometimes do Mediocre Sunday because most people forget the mall opens early on that Sunday, so there’s no crush. But sitting at the laptop perusing deals? THAT I can do quite well.
I shall let y’all know if I find anything good today. Let us know what deals you got, too!!
And I want it like BURNING!!!!
Perhaps I will own one in time for next year’s Alpha Proxima Day. The only thing missing is a Goron voodoo doll set up on a spike above it
Ok, time for the After Christmas While Still Boozing Open Thread™! As y’all know, I am a very, VERY curious person. I am not ashamed of that. If I want to know something, I will come right out and ask.
WHAT DID YOU GET FOR CHRISTMAS??
And more importantly, for me at least….
WHAT DID YOU GIVE??
I better not hear about any sexcapades here. Just keep it to material girl stuff
Well, it’s that time of year again. The time when people everywhere are scrambling around to get their Christmas gift shopping done before the inevitable “What did you get me??” moment sets in. There is nothing attractive about someone with a deer-in-the-headlights look on their face. Especially when it’s your significant other who should know better by now.
Moving on (before a tirade sets in), here is a gift guide for the holiday that will hopefully make things easy….well, easier….ok, not get anyone in trouble.
As a general rule, women hate getting clothing for Christmas, unless they get to pick it out themselves. Sometimes our significant others tend to buy the wrong size. This is a losing situation for them: too small, and we cry about needing a bigger size, or too big, and we cry because they think we are fat. But PJs are different!! The only thing men have to remember is what kind to get. Trust me, you do not want to get a hankie with straps at Victoria’s Secret when your beloved prefers 7 oz weight flannel.
Or vice versa.
Anyway, you can’t go wrong with a PajamaGram. They have beautiful PJs in different styles, and all of them come in a sweet hatbox. You can even have the PJs personalized.
Comfy and cute! And warm…very warm!! And you can wear these all day. Total win!!
Another good gift to give is the gift of scent. Trust me when I say that a woman is more apt to be impressed by a bottle of perfume than by a car deodorizer, ok? However, a man can’t just pick something willy-nilly and think he’s going to get kudos. Tresór by Lancôme may be the second best selling perfume in the world, but that doesn’t mean it will smell like it on her skin. Perusing her vanity table and paying attention to what she wears is crucial here. If that isn’t a possibility, then go out of this world to get her something special!
Zen perfume was synthesized from the scent of roses that were sent up to the space station. Turns out, the scent of roses change when in zero gravity. Yes, I want to grow roses in zero gravity now. What??
Of course, some of y’all will just be too terrified about picking the wrong thing, be it clothing or perfume. In this case I say, go for the bling. Jewelry never fails, as long as it’s not a gangster emblem hanging from a huge chain. That’s just tacky. Necklaces and bracelets are always a safe bet, because you don’t need to know sizes for rings, or if she has pierced ears (you should know these things by now, but I will cut you some slack here). A very popular trend right now is the charm bracelet. Some, like Pandora™ and Trollbeads™, tend to be very pricey, but there are other options that are more affordable, like Brighton. They have a huge selection of charms, which makes making a unique personalized bracelet very easy.
Just remember to pay attention to her favorite things, and you can’t go wrong!
Hope you enjoyed shopping with Aggie. The next instalment will be Blood, Sweat, and Tears. Also known as Valentine’s Day
*Crossposted at Sithy Things.
A couple of weekends ago, I had the wonderful opportunity to take Eldest shopping at a fancyass mall around here. One that has stores with security guards at the entrance to their shops. THAT kind of mall. Generally, I avoid those places. Going into a store where the salespeople look down on you for wearing off the rack clothing really gets on my nerves. But Eldest wanted to go into Le Fancy Shoppe, so in we went.
It was a nice, well air conditioned store, where the clothing was displayed artlessly artfully on solid wood tables with turned legs. I knew I was going to have a tough time in there. She spied a pretty shirt that was not as expensive as the rest of the stuff, and one that I wouldn’t mind buying, since it was a classic style in a neutral shade. What I mean by that is, it was a button-down in black. Anyway, we go up to the register, and there is a lady waiting. This lady was dressed impeccably. She had Jimmy Choos, and a Chanel jacket with the chain on the inside. I tried very hard not to salivate. So, we are waiting in line, and a third woman comes up to pay as well. She is wearing freakin’ Stuart Weitzman shoes. By this time, I was praying no one was looking at my Payless wear. We all three stand there looking around, when suddenly, Ms. Choo-Chanel yells, “WHO DO I HAVE TO SCREW TO GET MY PURCHASES DONE??” I am in shock. Eldest is in shock. And she turns to us and says, “Well, I’m an attention whore” and winks. It took all I had to keep from snorting.
I can’t say I have ever pulled a stunt like that, but I am given to fits of attention whoring. But only here. And only on days ending in “Y”
Ever had the Attention Whore™ blossom??
Or rather, it will be bleeding soon. Yes, my friends, it’s that time again: VALENTINE’S DAY!!! And with Valentine’s Day comes the inevitable panic of “WTF do I get??” combined with the reek of futility and the rush to get something at 5 PM on the 14th. Being your humble Mistress, I am here to serve. Hey, it is my duty to provide a shopping guide with which to save your sorry hides. YOU’RE WELCOME.
As y’all know, I don’t particularly care for flowers. Way overpriced during Valentine’s, and they end up dying anyway. But y’all know that jewelry is always a safe bet! This year I am pleased to show off my gift. Ok, I had to purchase it myself, but only because Hubby was being deployed:
Pay no attention to the wrinkles, ok?? This gorgeous ring is handmade from lampworked glass and sterling silver, and created by Kristin Perkins. She has several heart sizes, as well as earrings and necklaces. And if hearts aren’t your thing, she also has beautiful abstract designs in a range of colors.
Next up, the Number 2 reason for existing: BOOZE. Wine is always a winner with most women, true, and some women prefer hard liquor or beer instead. But to make things different, I suggest attending a tasting, or a wine dinner. Wine dinners are very mellow affairs. I attended one in Germany, and there were eighteen different wines to savor. The kicker was the “dinner” consisted of antipasto and a salad, and a dessert. Nowhere near the amount of food one needed to keep from getting drunk.
Yes, I was way tipsy after the second glass.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have returned for a bit. My inlaws don’t come in for another day or two, so I have some time to bitch and moan blog about all and sundry. Anyway, after an absence from the news and the interwebnets, I took the initiative and scoured to see if anything interesting in going on around the country, government-wise. There is still plenty of fecalities, don’t get me wrong. But one just screamed Slippery Slope:
NEW JERSEY WANTS TO SEIZE YOUR UNUSED GIFT CARDS
Um, excuse me?? The State of New Jersey wants to take gift cards from its owners??? And just why is that even an option??
Lawmakers voted last year to allow the seizure of cards after two to three years as a way to raise about $80 million and help balance the state’s budget.
A judge temporarily struck the law down, but the state extortionist treasurer has claimed they will appeal the ruling. Now, where I come from, that being Planet Earth, a gift card belongs to the recipient. The corporation that issues it gets what is called “unearned revenue”. They themselves do not realize a profit until such time as the card is used. In the event the card has an expiration date, it becomes a headache for the corporation, which is why most of them do NOT have expiration dates. I am not talking of the Visa or MasterCard type of gift cards, but the retail gift cards issued by places like Target, WalMart, and other stores. Since most of these gift cards do not have expiration dates, the State of New Jersey will see fit to place one. Obviously, retailers are very much against this law.
So, my question is, if New Jersey can pass a law to confiscate your money, which these cards are, in essence, then what is to stop them from confiscating your savings account as it sits idle, making a few bucks in interest every year??
….slip a sable under the tree, for me
Yes, it’s that time again: Shopping With Aggie ™!! As many of you have divined by now, I enjoy finding the perfect gift for each person on my list. And as always, it doesn’t have to be extravagant or rare, just perfect. Definition of that term is up to the giver, of course. Some people are more difficult than others, but putting thought into a gift shouldn’t feel like Torquemada’s paying a mental visit, you know. A homemade gift is a gift from the heart, and one that creates a special memory. My kids always made ornaments, and I kept them throughout the years. Now they grace a “family tree” (away from psychotic dogs). It truly is the thought that counts!
However, for the gentlemen who can’t think at this time of year, I have provided a simple, yet tasteful list of gifts for the women in your lives to guide y’all. First we have a selection of hand-painted glassware from Beege Wellborn:
Lovely, hand-painted, and very affordable! Beege has a large selection of glassware, for all tastes and occasions. She even has ornaments, plates, and serving dishes to complement them. And the Bamboo Panda glasses are waaaaaaaay adorable. These are truly works of art!
Next, we have trinkets!!! The say a diamond is a girl’s best friend, but a man’s worst enemy. Let’s face it: diamonds are tricky bastards. Inclusions, feathering, bad color, all those things can ruin the rock. But pearls are different. They don’t have that cold fire of a diamond, but a beautiful luster that reflects warmly against bare skin. Pearls don’t have to be flawlessly round. They can be ringed, or baroque, and have little flaws that make them unique. Pearls also help us achieve June Cleaver status. Every woman deserves a pearl necklace, just as every man wants to give her one (SHUT. UP.)
Next up is something rather unusual for my list, but one I particularly like because of it’s flexibility and the fact that you get a gift once a month for three months. The Signature Fruit-of-the-Month Club by Harry and David is a wonderful gift for those who abhor knick knacks, or hoard everything. Yes, my inlaws are getting this gift, as a matter of fact… I hope and pray they do not hoard it.
Finally, this shopping list would not be complete without PAJAMAS!!!! Specifically, the cotton candy variety:
Yes, they have to be pink. What part of COTTON CANDY did you not understand?? However, if your significant other doesn’t care for pink, there’s always blue cotton candy