Headlines
Man Robs Bank Armed with McDonald's Apple Pies
Police Arrest Naked Man Found Covered in Peanut Butter & Chocolate
Man Dies After Swallowing Dentures During Sex
'Soul Train' creator Don Cornelius dead
James Farentino dies at 73
White Castle Considers Offering Beer and Wine(I thought is where people went when already drunk)
America is Drunk(someone needs to slap Dr. Keith Ablow or buy him a drink or two)
Occupiers Pissing on Churches Housing Them (Literally)
Be Careful What You Wish For
HA!
Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dorn auctioned off an evening for dinner in their home in Chicago.
Tucker Carlson of The Daily Caller won.
He decided to take some friends, among them Andrew Breitbart.
Ayers will never forget this evening 
Saturday Joke
A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.
The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, “Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like ‘yes, I see,’ and ‘yes, go on,’ and ‘I understand.’”
The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.
The old priest says, “Now, don’t you think that’s a little better than slapping your knee
and saying, ‘No shit, what happened next?’”
Now that y’all had a laugh, get going on your chores, and don’t forget to get your car washed!!
Have a great Saturday!!
Light ‘Em If You Got ‘Em
One of my favorite posts at Bring the Heat, Bring the Stupid are the videos of what Brad likes to call “‘Splodey”. Watching something blow up is therapeutic to me. Makes me feel all calm, and that all is right with the world, even if only for the few seconds of beautiful incendiary footage.
Seriously, doesn’t this make you feel good??
If I smoked, I would soooo need a cigarette right about now
TESLA!!!
We at Casa de Aggie are big fans of Nikola Tesla.
And Edison can suck it! 
Accidents and Happenstance
Skyping with Hubby is never boring. You would think that living in the middle of a desert would be boring, but you would be wrong. Everyday he regales me with stories of gore and mayhem, and that’s just during PT. No matter how careful one is, invariably someone will get hurt somehow. Hubby himself doesn’t have a great track record. He’s had a broken finger, bite to the knee (which developed gangrene), hatchet to the leg, sledgehammer to the hand (needing reconstruction), torn hamstring, torn right quadracep, torn ligaments to the right ankle, dislocated shoulder with a torn trapezius muscle, ruptured eardrum (three times), numerous lacerations to the head (from bricks, rocks, bottles, and once from a teddy bear with music box inside), fractured sternum, and of course, getting shot in the arm.
I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THOSE!!!
Sadly, or luckily, all I’ve ever dealt with is a broken toe. The viral meningitis and childbirth were just par for the course. So was the sciatica. And the chronic back pain. Sigh…
So, what’s the worst injury y’all ever sustained? Gory details are fine. The more the better
Can’t Argue With Demotivational Logic
I’m busy packing up my niece’s belongings so she can move out of my sister’s house, so here:
Tell me that’s wrong
The Darker Side of Hookers
Sometimes, it doesn’t pay to do business in your hometown:
Man orders prostitute, daughter arrives
That’s a hell of a WTF moment right there.
Father-of-three Titus Ncube of Bulawayo said he called for a prostitute to come to the hotel room in which he was staying while having marital problems and was shocked when his 20-year-old daughter arrived.
You know, usually I have something snarky to say, but not right now.
His daughter fled the scene, crying. But people always try to make the best of a bad situation. The father has decided to go into counselling with his wife, and the daughter has decided to return to school. So, a kind of good ending… I think.
“If it were not for my children, I could have divorced him a long time ago. But because of the trauma that divorce has on children, I decided to stay,” [Ncube's wife, Rosemary] said.
I don’t know about y’all, but that’s a red flag for me. If your daughter is prostituting herself, you may want to rethink that whole “trauma” thing, Rosemary.
Hat tip to Hubby!!
Incensed Avifauna
I don’t play Angry Birds, but my brother and I have a running joke about it. He is fanatical and sends pics of anything to do with that game. Some are obvious, and others subtle, but all are damn funny.
The Audubon take:
The Therapy take:
And my personal favorite, the Hitchcock take:
Yes, even the Angry Birds take on Hitchcock’s The Birds gives me the willies. I can’t help it!!
Weird Conversations, and Why I Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Talk Before I Have Coffee
I swear, sometimes it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed. Last night I went to bed rather late, since Eldest was practicing her Parade and March stuff for ROTC in the kitchen, and right as I fell asleep I got an anxiety attack, so I laid in bed waiting for an hour for it to subside, thinking stupid existentialistic crap that probably solved the world’s problems, but I promptly forgot after dreaming about narwhals. Why narwhals? Because Eldest had been talking about them a couple of days ago. Shit like that just lies in wait to assault my REMs.
This morning I got up, and tripped over the little dog as I made my way with one eye open to the coffeemaker. You would think I could not screw that up, right? But noooo…. instead of creamer I poured lemon juice into my cup of coffee, not looking because A) the bottles are similar in color and size, and 2) the dog was barking to be let out. I’m hiding the bottle of lemon juice in the back of the fridge from now on.
So, I have my second cup with creamer, just in time to Skype with Hubby. YAY!! So, we talk about stuff going on over there and soon enough we are all, “Oh I miss you honey!” and “I miss you too!” and then we talk of how some stuff over there is so weird and suddenly for no reason I say:
I know! I just don’t understand why they (Muslims) would want 72 virgins. I mean, that just doesn’t make sense to me. I would rather have 72 hookers. They would know what they are doing, right?
And Hubby just looks at me with a lot of pity, because that part of the conversation had absolutely nothing to do why we miss each other. Or maybe it did, and I missed it. All I know is that today is a three pot of coffee day and I am soooo going to have a nap.
The Walken Dead
Stolen Creatively borrowed from Veeshir
Loading ...
