“The average American has one ball and one tit. You now know everything you need to know about statistics.” — via David, Third World County, “Mr Natural’s Rules of Women and the Universe”–circa 1977

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Aug 27

Finally, Something That Isn’t Bush’s Fault

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, August 27, 2012 in 2012, Idiotarians, Politics, Total Bullshit

This…. this is monumental, y’all. Our esteemed Prez has finally found someone to blame other than BushCheneyHalliburton: YOU!!

From his latest campaign email:

Last week, when I was in Iowa, voters told me they were feeling it. The numbers back it up: Our side is getting outspent 2-to-1 on the air there.

“Y’all hear Romney ads more often, because I was a dumbass and spent too much money way back in June.”

But the folks asking me about this don’t want an explanation — they want to know what I’m going to do about it.

“Where are you going to get the money for my mortgage and free gas?”

And the fact is that solving this problem is up to you ….{snip}

“Y’all have to pony up for my campaign or y’all will be back in chains!!”

We’re losing this air war right now.

“The little people are questioning me and not buying the lies!!111!!”

I don’t have as much time to campaign this time as I did in 2008, so this whole thing is riding on you making it happen.

“Michelle and the girls need vacations from their vacations, and those little balls of mine won’t putt themselves, you know.”

I find it ludicrous that he doesn’t have time to campaign. Aside from golf, campaigning is what he does most often. The fact is, the man is desperate. I’m sure he didn’t write this schpiel, but he approved this message. Blame comes easily for those who are humble, which is why he will never take blame for anything.

But it’s ok, Mr. Prez. You really did build this.

Aug 25

The Scam Stops Here!

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Saturday, August 25, 2012 in Politics, Total Bullshit

I’m sure y’all remember when the Obama campaign refused to pay for an upcoming visit in Durham, New Hampshire? And when the Democratic National Committee refused to reimburse Westport, Connecticut for an Obama campaign visit? Well, it sounds like some people are starting to catch on:

A University of Virginia spokeswoman says President Barack Obama will not be at the university when he comes to Charlottesville on Wednesday.  In a statement released Friday, it was confirmed that the university declined the president’s request to speak at UVA.

UVA says the Obama campaign requested the use of one of two outdoor venues - the Amphitheater or the Harrison-Small Library plaza.  The university declined the request for a number of reasons including class cancellations, which UVA estimates could be more than 186 classes on the second day of school.  The other main reason is they would have to take on the full cost of security, and because of university policy and their federal and state tax exempt status, they would have to offer the same opportunity to the other candidate so as not to show favor for either candidate.

Sounds to me like they have caught on to the financial drain these leeches are on everyone. Now the campaign is scrambling for a venue that is “academic” enough for the Prez.

Might I suggest any preschool? ;)

Aug 22

More Like Dimwit

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Wednesday, August 22, 2012 in AssHatery, Idiotarians, Politics, Total Bullshit

I swear they aren’t just stuck on stupid. They are just stuck on 2000.

At a Highlands Ranch, Colorado, campaign rally, former Secretary of State Madeline Albright was shilling for the current administration when she was asked her how long Democrats would blame the previous administration for their problems.

That’s right. She said “FOREVER!!!ELEVENTY111!!!!”

Ok, there was no “ELEVENTY”, but it was implied. Seriously though, if she is going to blame Bush for this administration’s fuckuppery, then I say we blame HER for her lack of leadership that led to the Global War on Terror.

We can play this game, too, you brooch-loving halfwit.

Aug 20

Compare and Contrast

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, August 20, 2012 in Funny Pics, Idiotarians, Left Wing Media, Politics, Total Bullshit

I don’t know who the wiseguy is, but someone gave me a Newsweek subscription for Christmas.

And when I find out who it was, they will pay.

In the meantime, I do have fun with it. Some of the articles are too hilarious and I find myself not finishing much of it, except the letters section. I find it amazing how the editorial department picks them. And by “amazing”, I mean “totally obvious”. And their covers are no exception! But this week’s cover has a few people a bit aghast.

ZOMG!!!! Ok, it’s by Niall Ferguson, who isn’t a liberal, but he is a RINO. But this is NEWSWEEK we are talking about. They never, EVER, say anything derogatory about Obama. Witness:

And this:

And even this:

That last one made me laugh. A lot. The caption was pure gold. Seems to me that even Newsweek is starting to face the music.

I know that y’all despise even looking at the Prez’ visage, but think of it this way: this is the worst this week will ever get ;)

Jul 20

Hippie Chic

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, July 20, 2012 in AssHatery, Idiotarians, Politics, Total Bullshit

I saw this yesterday, but wanted to wait until I was sure it wasn’t satire until I wrote about it.

Art-Kids for Change: Partying Against the Tea Party in Hipster Brooklyn

You can find the article at the www [dot] gq [dot] com site, under news and politics blogs. Yes, I was at GQ. Sue me. I got it from IowaHawk, so there.

Moving on, the so-called hipsters were in attendance at an “art space” called “The Intercourse” in Brooklyn. Entrance fee was only $50, with proceeds going to Downtown for Democracy. The point: raising money to defeat the Tea Party Ten that Puffy Ho wrote about. No linkie to that, either. The ten are Sean Duffy (R-Wis.), Steve King (R-Iowa), Allen West (R-Fla), Joe Walsh (R-Ill.), Frank Guinta (R-N.H.), Chip Cravaack (R-Minn.), Dan Lundgren (R- CA), and Mike Fitzpatrick (R-PA), with two others to be announced by the CREDO SuperPAC.

No, they couldn’t come up with ten off the top of their pinheads.

The writer reporting on the hip happenings was a bit surprised by the insouciance of those gathered there. These hipsters paid to have their voices heard, and they weren’t bothering to say anything. A friend noted:

“This is a good illustration of why Democrats are going to lose the air war this year. I’ve had probably $150 worth of food and drink and I only paid $50. Not that it isn’t delicious.”

Leeches exist throughout the economic strata. But it is worth pointing out that he knew the futility of such a gathering. The point of the gathering is to raise money. That’s it. Not to convince them to vote for Obama, not to convince them to be active in politics. The reality is that these kids (and they were mostly in their 20′s) go to these parties, give $50, and feel they have done their duty. They do not ask where the money goes, or for what it will be used. All they know is that it will go to save Obama. The organizer of the swanky soirees makes sure to let the writer know what she hopes to accomplish:

“My reflection on the evening,” she wrote the next morning in a cheery email to reporters who attended, “is that I think it was pretty cool that a demographic some might refer to as ‘hipsters’ trekked out to possibly the hardest neighborhood to get to in Brooklyn—not to attend an opening or a fashion show, but to support progressive politics. And paid to do it. Part of D4D’s mission is to counteract the stereotype that the young and creative are too busy caring about themselves to care about politics. I think we accomplished that last night.”

ZOMG!!! They navigated the hardest neighborhood TO GET TO in BROOKLYN!!

And they paid for the PRIVILEGE!!!

Oh, and they FOUGHT the stereotypes of being HIPSTERS!!!

Wait…what??

Lest you think I’m against such a soiree, I am all for them. It’s part of the freedoms we enjoy. And as a perk, Teh Stoopid™ never fails to disappoint.

“It’s amazing,” Dustin Yellin [owner of The Intercourse] said.”The Intercourse is amazing, and D4D is amazing.”

And when the writer asks him, “The Tea Party…you’re happy to—” Mr. Yellin replied:

“Abolish it? Yes. Absolutely.”

Because in the land of Progressives, there is only one voice, and it isn’t the one of dissent.

Jul 2

The Scent of Desperation is Similar to Teen Spirit

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, July 2, 2012 in Government, Politics, Total Bullshit

I can say that, because that anti-perspirant reeks.

Obama Campaign Call Affirms Money Anxiety

No, I’m not kidding.

I gotta hand it to the Prez, though. He managed to install a personal phoneline in Air Force One so that he could campaign while travelling and not run afoul of the rules.

“If things continue as they have so far, I’ll be the first sitting president in modern history to be outspent in his reelection campaign,” he said, according to the report.

{snip}

“The special interests that are financing my opponent’s campaign are just going to consolidate themselves,” he said. “They’re gonna run Congress and the White House.”

Just my opinion, but that’s not just whiny, but also sounds like he’s jealous!! After all, that’s his particular MO.

This is new territory for the Prez. He has always run as a challenger, not as an incumbent. And he is at a loss. But then again, what does he expect? A lot of the big donors who contributed to his campaign in 2008 can’t afford to donate this time around. The amount of millionaires has shrunk in recent years, thanks no doubt to this administrations’ policies.

Of course, that never stopped Teh Messiah™ from squeezing blood out of turnips.

Jun 22

Psycho-tomy

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, June 22, 2012 in Idiotarians, Public Ed, Rants, Total Bullshit

Honestly, I just don’t understand this.

By now, y’all have heard about this:

School bus monitor bullied by students

My blood pressure had a few spikes, and I thought the kids should be ever grateful they live nowhere near me. Four seventh graders, one of which is the son of a police officer, took it upon themselves to bully a grandmother whose job is to monitor the activities on that school bus.

How sick and depraved is that??

Now I find out that, not only is that poor woman not filing charges, there is a fundraising effort currently underway for her, and it has reached nearly half a million dollars. And she deserves every penny. But here is what pisses me off:

  1. She’ll have to pay taxes on it, at a much higher rate than that of her current income rate.
  2. The kids haven’t apologized.
  3. The community that is showing support for her is the same community that couldn’t be bothered to teach those kids not to be bullies.
  4. The backlash against the kids is making them out to be the victims.

Those kids are victims of their lackadaisical parents. That’s it. THEY took it upon themselves to verbally abuse and attack a woman trying to do her job. And without swift intervention, they will end up being little psychos terrorizing others. No, I don’t agree with people texting and emailing threats to those kids. I think that’s atrocious and extreme. But I do think they need to be taught fear, so they can learn respect.

Remember, these are the kids that will be in charge in the future. The words “Soylent Green” come to mind when I think of that.

Jun 11

Living Up to His Name

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, June 11, 2012 in AssHatery, Idiotarians, Total Bullshit

Sometimes, people are just so well named. Take Eric Stonestreet, for example. I’m pretty sure the *ahem* actor had to be under the influence of cannabis to say something this profound:

“We need to figure out a law that makes everyone feel like they have the same shot at everything that everyone else has in the United States and let’s make everyone feel good, you know everyone needs to feel good and feel like they are an equal person in society.”

Hey, Eric Stoned-in-the-street!! Ever hear of this?

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness

Now, I’ll cut him some slack. The Declaration of Independence is NOT a law. But it does state that everyone has the same shot at Life than everyone else. Furthermore, it’s not the government’s job to make us feel good. By his logic, the government should pass a law to make us watch Modern Family so that he can feel good about his ratings. And as for being equal, how about you give me some of the money you earned filming that show? I can’t get an acting gig to save my life, so pony up, Mr. Stoner. I demand to be YOUR equal. I’ll even use the money to buy a ton of junkfood so I can grow to look just like you!

If being equal means being as ignorant as this guy, I’ll pass.

May 25

Malignant Spiderwebs

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, May 25, 2012 in Idiotarians, Political Correctness, Rants, Scandal, Total Bullshit

Sometimes one can easily brush a spiderweb off one’s eyes. Other times it’s not so easy, especially when the spiderweb is poisonous.

Take the case of The Other McCain. Or that of Patterico. Or most tragic, that of Aaron Worthing. You can get summations of the cases here, and here, and here, and here.

And from Lee Stranahan:

I want to know how it is that the law supports the hounding of people who tell the truth, reporting an actual fact that is available for anyone to read. I want to know why it is that posting a court decision available through public records is cause for damages.

Most of all, I want to know how it is that a convicted terrorist bomber gets grants from the Tides Foundation, the  Barbra Streisand Foundation, and the Heinz Family Foundation totalling $100,000.

I suppose that in the eyes of those foundations, a man who bombs innocent civilians can be considered a freedom fighter.

Mar 30

I Take Arsenic With My Coffee

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, March 30, 2012 in AssHatery, Fambly, Idiotarians, Open Thread, Total Bullshit

That is something my dad used to say when I was younger. I always thought that he was talking about how strong my mom made the coffee (you can stand a spoon in it, and then watch it disintegrate slowly). But no…. he was speaking of the way he deals with people. My dad is awesome. Nothing, and I mean nothing, gets under his skin. You can walk up to my dad and tell him he is full of shit, and he will say thanks, and move right along. Now, he will defend his wife and kids from any assault, don’t get me wrong. But as far as his feelings are concerned, he doesn’t care. That’s crap that just bogs him down, he says. And at 80 years of age, he doesn’t have the time, and knows his effort is best applied towards getting a e-book off the ‘net.

My dad was a Honey Badger before being a Honey Badger was cool.

Now, me?? I go out of my way to not hurt people’s feelings. I come from a large family, immediate and extended, so it’s not unusual for someone to ask “What is that supposed to mean???”  and all hell breaking loose for a few days hours. I try to avoid that, because I like to center on the positive. If I were to tangle myself in that shit I would probably look like Lizzie Borden’s younger, much cooler sister. There are times, however, when a family member goes too far, and I feel the need to….tangle, as in “tangle my hands around their neck”. When I was younger I could quell that need just fine, but not that I am older? It is much harder. And having been designated the official pourer of oil upon troubled waters for my clan makes it near impossible to deal with it sometimes.

So, how do you deal with pettiness and strife?

I’m asking for a friend ;)