Nothing ruins a sexy mood more than a huge flying cokroach to go running across your bare ass. — Laura, Fetch My Flying Monkeys

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May 16

Henny for Lots of Pennies

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, May 16, 2014 in AssHatery, ClimateGate, Idiotarians, Left Wing Media, Total Bullshit, Weather

Y’all remember Henny Penny? AKA Chicken Little? Apparently she got hit on the head with a chunk of Antarctic ice and is screaming about the eventual demise of Washington, D.C.

What will become of the nation’s capital?

The huge West Antarctic ice sheet is slowly collapsing, and two groups of scientists say the melting is now an unstoppable event.

Melting ice will cause sea levels to rise higher than initially projected, which is cause for concern for D.C.-area scientists and local urban planners.

The rising seas will affect local treasures, including the Chesapeake Bay and the country’s iconic monuments along the National Mall.

“We’ve reached the point of no return,” says Brenda Ekwurzel, senior climate scientist with the Union of Concerned Scientists. “We can expect by the end of the century, according to the National Climate Assessment, anywhere between one and five feet of sea-level rise.”

That’s only the beginning.

I know, I know…y’all are out of shocked faces by now. Global cooling Global warming Climate change Climate chaos is super happening over in Antarctica. The ice sheet is breaking!! ICE IS MELTING SO SEA LEVELS WILL RISE AND DOGS AND CATS WILL END UP LIVING TOGETHER!!! (Say it. You know you want to!) So as the sea level rises we are in danger of our so-called beloved national capital from being underwater. Weather peeps can’t possibly predict the weather for the workweek, but BY GOD they can sure tell when we are all going to die because of anthropomorphic global warming CLIMATE CHAOS. Henny Penny is screaming that the sky is falling the water is rising, just so we can spend money towards…. barriers and raising bulkheads. But nothing TOO high because that may obstruct the aesthetics of Old Town Alexandria, and you can’t have that. And as for DC, they admit it is doable to enclose it, but it would be very expensive.

“The worry to our children is, not only will this continue, but it might accelerate pretty fast,” says [Bill] Boicourt, of the University of Maryland.

Well, y’all knew this was going to be plugged For the Children™. Yes, I’m out of shocked faces, too. They also give a shout-out to cutting emissions, too. Can’t let that tidbit be ignored. Never mind that ice breaks off when it gets too heavy, or that this past April saw record-breaking levels of ice forming in Antarctica, exceeding the past record for Antarctic ice cover by about 320,000 square kilometers. No, the ice breaking means dead polar bears somewhere and children who can no longer enjoy a trip to see the new AGW chart at the Smithsonian.

I don’t need to be a weather expert to call bullshit on this. If the possibility of DC being submerged in water were real, those Congress rats would have fled long ago.

Jan 4

Hazy Shade of Winter

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, January 4, 2013 in Funny Pics, Open Thread, Weather

The prognosticators prognosticated sleet and ice and snow for my area today.

As usual, they were wrong.

Remind me to send them a Thank You card.

groundhog lol

Seriously, Punxsutawney Phil Sowerby has a better track record than most weather peeps.

So, today I shall be doing chores at home, and trying to stay warm while the prognosticated temperature reaches its zenith. Basically what I am trying to say is, I have run out of excuses and must now clean house.

And how will you be spending this inglorious bastardly day?? :D

Oct 29

Sending Prayers and Levity

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, October 29, 2012 in Funny Pics, Nature, Weather

Having lived through more than my share of hurricanes, and coming from the culture that gave y’all the word in the first place, I offer up prayers for y’all’s safety, and hope that y’all are taking plenty of precautions!!

And I really meant it when I say “taking ALL precautions”.

Take care, stay safe, and above all, do NOT become a Rider of the Storm!! ;)

Aug 12

Travelosity

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, August 12, 2011 in Funny Pics, Open Thread, Weather

Yes, I’m aware of the spelling. It serves two purposes: 1) I am NOT endorsing the popular site, and 2) those too moronic to misspell it will end up here, giving H&B more hits. I’m a genius that way.

Anyway, John over at Nobody Move! is on a staycation, and is blogging about the places he would like to visit. If you peruse his posts you will definitely see a pattern! I have a list if y’all recall, of things to do before I die, which includes travelling to far away places, too. But with high prices, TSA goons, and riots all over the world, a staycation makes more sense. My dad is what I call an armchair tourist. It’s enough for him to view videos/ DVDs about foreign places. His reasoning is, he has seen insert-place-here from ever possible angle from the air conditioned comfort of his recliner, so why go? I can hardly fault his logic.

I’ll admit, most of the places on my list are tropical in nature, but with the heat this summer, I have been thinking more along the lines of Antartica.

My barf would freeze instantly.

So, my friends, where would y’all like to spend your staycation?

Jul 22

It’s Hot

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, July 22, 2011 in Funny Pics, Teh Funny, Weather

It’s quite hot. Very hot. Africa hot.

The humidity doesn’t help either. Here in my corner of Hades, it’s a cool 86* degrees overcast, with 84% relative humidity. It’s also 8:30 AM.By noon, it will be about 97*, and the heat index will make it feel like 105*. And then in the afternoon, it will get hot…

I have a feeling I will be jumping the sprinklers today as I get the patio ready for Eldest’s party tomorrow.

Why couldn’t she have been born in springtime??

Crossposted at Sithy Things :)

Feb 9

Old Man Winter

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Wednesday, February 9, 2011 in Personal, Teh Funny, Weather

…. can bite my ass. Once again, we are under freezing conditions, blustery winds, and sleet in my part of South Texas. This time it’s not snow, but ice, and I would rather have the snow. And y’all know how I feel about snow. I swear, if Teh Goron shows his fat face in this state, there will be a lynching.

Anyway, I was picking up the kids yesterday, and Sean Hannity was on the radio, hocking Pajamagrams. If you recall from last year’s Valentine Shopping post, I recommended them. I still do. I’m a pajama freak. Moving on, Hannity was talking about a new type of PJ that the company had, the Hoodie Footie. my first thought was, “WTF is that?”, but that was quickly overridden by the second, more pressing thought, “How fast can I get to my laptop to look that up??” Well, a few minutes later I got home from doing 40 in a 25 picking up the Little One, and researched the wondrous PJ:

Hear that? Yes, that's my name this PJ is screaming...

So yes, I got myself this PJ as my treat for Valentine’s Day/ Mardi Gras/ Easter/ fill-in-any-holiday, and I can flip a serious bird to Old Man Winter.

Aggie- 1, Winter- 0 ;)

Feb 1

Memo to Winter

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Tuesday, February 1, 2011 in Funny Pics, Weather

It is now 27* F ( -3*C to you metric peeps) with a wind chill factor of -2* F (even colder in metric). The wind is howling outside, making the little dog yap at every…single…noise. I have been wearing two layers of clothing all day, and am ready to boil my skin before getting in bed. This weather is recockulous, and I can honestly say, I can’t wait for summer, when I am five blocks from the Sun.

Teh Goron has a ring reserved in Hell for this shit.