When you pick a cat up by the tail, you learn something you can learn no other way. — Mark Twain

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Apr 18

Piss Off, and Gargle Vinegar

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, April 18, 2014 in AssHatery, Idiotarians, Politics, Rants, terrorism, Total Bullshit

One never knows what will set a woman off.

I was minding my own business yesterday, shopping for a dreaded dress to wear for my niece’s wedding (because she has told me in no uncertain terms no black, white, or dark colors. That leaves my entire closet out), when I hear a news clip about Senator Harry Reid (D- Nevada) calling those who stood with rancher Cliven Bundy “domestic terrorists“.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said he believes the supporters who rallied around Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy in his fight against the federal government are “domestic terrorists” and Bundy does not respect his country.

Searching for a dress didn’t make me upset. Getting caught in a storm didn’t get me upset. Having to cater to my youngest because she doesn’t like my cooking didn’t get me upset. Being honked at by an impatient person who wanted my parking slot didn’t get me upset. Having five Mexican nationals cut in front of me at a store pretending they didn’t see me there and snickering about getting away with “cheating the gringa” didn’t get me upset.

Don’t worry. I called them on it. And smiled while doing so.

But this? This elitist dickwrinkle telling me that people who stand in opposition to more government control are domestic terrorists???

reid arrogance

Listen, you disgusting excuse for pig offal, you are an elected official. You’re not royalty and the people of Nevada are not your subjects.

THEY ARE YOUR BOSSES.

YOU ARE THEIR SERVANT.

This is supposed to be a government of the people, for the people, and by the people. You seem to think it is a government for your personal use, to increase your graft and power over those who “don’t know any better”. Unlike you, you perverted whey-faced ass boil, the people still recall that. And because they know this bloated, debt-ridden government came with limits, and they have the utter nerve to call you on it, you decide they are terrorists? Words have meaning, you canker. Your ideological side has embraced the words of that illustrious Nobel Piss Prize winner, Yasser Arafat: one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. Remember that, you twisted scrotum sac?

Well, guess what? This country has a metric fuckton of freedom fighters, and you just managed to wake a shitton more. Welcome to the party, pal, and yippey kay AY!!

Motherfucker.

Apr 4

Social Toxicity

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, April 4, 2014 in Open Thread, Rants, Teh Funny

Social sites are like a gory train wreck.

ZOMG!!! THE HUGE MANATEE!!! I JUST CAN’T LOOK AWAY!!!111ELEVENTY!!!

The drama is as rich as chocolate ganache poured over tiramisu that has been infused with three cups of Khalua™ after soaking in sweetened espresso. But unlike that delish tiramisu of my dreams, the drama is never ending.

fb drama lol

I just don’t get it. Even the friends who are most stable and normal succumb to it. I don’t understand how it is that Person A can tell me, Person B, they are doing fine to my face, but 15 minutes later are posting about how their world has come to a screeching halt because Person B couldn’t see that Person A is hurting through the brave face she shows the world, and was too selfish to make the effort to find out what was wrong with Person A.

I’m sorry, but what the ever loving FUCK?? I don’t need that shit on my social site page. No one does. If someone has a problem with someone else, take it up with them, PRIVATELY. Honestly, at times like that, I feel like deleting my page and you know, living my life.

But then a shitstorm of drama happens and I just can NOT look away.

And do y’all enjoy the drama? There is popcorn to be had :D

Mar 24

At Least It Starts With the Letter “U”

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, March 24, 2014 in Idiotarians, Politics, War

As the world watches Ukraine and Putin, and begins to wonder what happened to Georgia (the republic, not the state), our esteamed* Prez and leader of the somewhat free world decided it was time to get serious and get involved.

In Uganda.

Again.

Early Monday, the White House confirmed a Washington Post report that the U.S. was sending “associated support personnel,” and a “limited number” of CV-22 Osprey aircraft to assist local forces in their long-running battle against Kony’s Lord’s Resistance Army, or LRA. Obama sent about 100 U.S. troops to help the African forces in 2011.

The administration did not specify how many troops and aircraft would be sent to Africa, but the Post reported that the president had ordered four Osprey aircraft and 150 Air Force special operations members and airmen to Uganda.

I’m all for helping the oppressed, don’t get me wrong. But having studied Sub-Saharan African cultures, and the geography, I’m pretty freakin’ sure they will never find much less catch that Kony character anytime soon. Besides that, I have to ask, how does his capture secure the freedom of not just the people of Uganda and the Central African Republic (so-called), but also of the US? Just how is Kony a threat to Western interests? He has no nuclear capabilities, no organized army divisions, nothing but a mythical shroud to provide him cover. This is akin to the Ugandan Army sending troops to Los Angeles to capture the Hillside Stranglers.

Meanwhile, Vlad “Impale Them All” Putin is poised to go to war over Ukraine as a probable second step (don’t forget Georgia, the republic, not the state) in his quest to re-establish Russia as a superpower and making Poland, Hungary, and all the other former bloc nations very, very nervous, since the US no longer has their backs. But the Prez will write a sternly-worded letter or reprimand while trying to calm the European countries on his tour.

He will no doubt try to douse that conflagration with just enough gasoline.

* Yes, I spelled it that way on purpose ;)

Mar 3

Nero Called and He Wants His Fiddle Back

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, March 3, 2014 in Government, Politics, War

It’s not enough that our Prez is working hard to destroy this country. He has to make it easier for other tyrants to destroy the rest of the world, too.

Last week, the White House released a photo of our Prez talking on the phone with Russian Prez Putin. It was a rather foolhardy effort to make our Prez look tough. But as usual, it failed spectacularly.

obama putin call

Reportedly, this call lasted 90 minutes. This is how I imagine the call went.

BO: Hey Vlad, how’s things?

VP: Hallo comrade! Things are good, very good. Enjoyed some time in Sochi and now going to enjoy some time in The Crimea. And what about you? Taking another vacation?

BO: Really thinking about it right now. Listen, about Crimea… Um, would you mind just holding off for a bit?

VP: Why, Obamushka?

BO: Look, I’m out of red lines and some people expect me to come up with one.

VP: Red line? Is this new drug, like ecstasy?

BO: I wish… I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but the thing is, you going to Crimea looks like an act of war to some people, and frankly, I am trying my damnedest to get rid of OUR military right now, and you are making the argument to keep OUR military at current levels here. You have to work with me!

VP: I have to work with you?? Do I have to remind you who is my bitch here, Obamushka?

BO: No…..

VP: Good. Now, be a good cyka and keep rattling the saber. Your supporters still believe in you to transform your country. Just as my supporters believe in me to transform mine, da? Now, I have to go. My jackboots just came back from being shined.

Why so short a call? Putin probably kept Obama on hold for 80 minutes.

Jan 31

SBXLVIII

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, January 31, 2014 in Football, Open Thread

Well, the Super Bowl is this Sunday.

This also means I shall be a widow for about five hours. Well, a widow who serves food.

So, open thread question for today is, who will win?

These guys?

seahawks logo

Or these guys?

broncos logo

Enquiring minds want to know :)

Dec 16

Wealthcare.gov

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, December 16, 2013 in Government, ObamaCare

I shouldn’t laugh, y’all. This crap is serious, but sometimes I can’t help it.

For the second week in a row, the Washington Healthplanfinder website is down, and it’s causing problems for people who are dealing with billing issues. Some of them say the website is mistakenly debiting their accounts.

Shannon Bruner of Indianola logged on to her checking account Monday morning, and found she was almost 800 dollars in the negative.

“The first thing I thought was, ‘I got screwed,’” she said.

I am not laughing at their quandary. I am laughing at the fact that EVERYONE CALLED THIS. And still people didn’t listen.

One [KGW] viewer emailed KING 5 saying, “They drafted my account this morning for a second time.”

Amazing how the site can’t operate correctly, and is usually down, but damned if they can’t manage to get your money, TWICE.

Washington Healthplanfinder emailed the Bruners a few days ago telling them to log in to view their invoice, something they couldn’t do because the website has been down. The Bruners haven’t been able to get through on the helpline either. They finally contacted Healthplanfinder administrators by posting a message on their Facebook page.

Washington Healthplanfinder is reportedly looking into the problem. Meanwhile, the Bruners can’t go shopping for Christmas gifts, or even pay their nanny. I don’t even know if they have healthcare insurance.

But I do know the IRS won’t garnish their return. This year, anyway.

Oct 19

Let Him Live in Infamy

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Saturday, October 19, 2013 in Political Correctness, Public Ed, Rants, Total Bullshit

Via Matt Walsh:

jared-murray-wxix-screenshot

Allow me to introduce you to Kentucky’s own former Holmes High School Band Director Jared Murray.

Late at night, early in the morning, during class, Jared Murray, for several weeks at the beginning of the school year, bombarded a 15 year old student with all sorts of text messages. He now claims these were all “taken out of context,” and he was just trying to foster a “father-daughter” relationship with the young lass. He says there’s nothing criminal about the conversations he had with her. I’ll show you a few of the hundreds and hundreds of text messages. You be the judge. You tell me if they require further “context”:

“Girl, you’re always looking nice.”

“You already know I’ll smack your ass.”

“Morning, good lookin’.”

“So when you moving in?”

This man was suspended with pay, and then resigned without so much as a blemish on his record. The prosecutor’s hands are tied, because of Kentucky law. He did not explicitly solicit her for sex, you see. So he gets off, in more ways than one.

In a country where zero tolerance against students in public school is beyond reprehensible, where kids who chew a poptart into the shape of Idaho and get suspended because it resembles a ZOMGUN!!!, where a kid streaks through a football halftime and gets the book thrown at him as a sex offender and decides to commit suicide instead, where a kid wears an NRA shirt and gets expelled, where a kid becomes scared to even think about playing dodgeball or tag for fear of repercussions, it’s hard to believe the mantra the schools cry, “FOR THE CHILDREN!!

For why would they claim to protect them, when they serve them as sacrifices?

Sep 28

Fandom Funneh

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Saturday, September 28, 2013 in Awesomeness, Football, Funny Pics

Osoloco had this at her social-site-with-faces page, and I had to swipe creatively borrow it.

team fans venn

And where does your team fall?

*grabs popcorn* :D

 

Sep 16

Your LOL For Monday

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, September 16, 2013 in Funny Pics, religion of piece

Things are pretty sad around here still, but in moments of sadness, we find joy in little things. This past Wednesday, bikers from around North America came down to counter the “Million American March Against Fear”, known better by it’s former name, “Million Muslim March”. Look, I firmly believe that everyone has a right to petition the government, etc., etc. Personally, I was supporting their right to gather and assemble. Sure, Muslims gathering to rouse people to their plight on the day some of their religious brethren attacked our country and took us to war would show them to be in bad taste and crying like spoiled children, but that is why I wanted them to do it. Sunlight is a great disinfectant.

Anyway, both the bikers and the pieceful religion peeps decided to launch Facebook groups to garner support. Here are screenshots of the groups timeline banners. Please read closely the amount of “likes” each page has.

bikers fb group

That’s the bikers’ group. The current count is 282,934 “likes”.

mamaf fb group

And this is the muslim group. The current count is 335 “likes”. JUST 335.

This is why I do think there is hope against this tide. Their support comes from trumped up political correctness, and we must start taking back our rights to vocabulary words and teach politicians that no one has a right not to be offended.

And we can start teaching the lesson by voting them out :D

Jul 26

Ice Picks at the Ready

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, July 26, 2013 in Open Thread, Social

There is nothing I hate more than having an accidental earworm.

NOTHING!!!

Ok, that may or may not be an exaggeration. But it does come close.

click friday

It’s like being Chekov in The Wrath of KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!

So, what it your worst earworm ever? Go ahead and post links in the comments, but remember you may get moderated if you post more than two.

And Rebecca Black counts :D

Hat Tip: My friend David.