Headlines
Police Arrest Naked Man Found Covered in Peanut Butter & Chocolate
Man Dies After Swallowing Dentures During Sex
'Soul Train' creator Don Cornelius dead
James Farentino dies at 73
White Castle Considers Offering Beer and Wine(I thought is where people went when already drunk)
America is Drunk(someone needs to slap Dr. Keith Ablow or buy him a drink or two)
Occupiers Pissing on Churches Housing Them (Literally)
I guess JoePa can discuss with God if he "did the right thing" now..
Up Your Nose, With a Rubber Hose!
Today brings sad news in TV Land. Robert Hegyes, who played Juan Epstein in the series, Welcome Back, Kotter!, passed away. I loved that show. For one thing, it was about school, and not the angsty kind. For another, it wasn’t afraid to stereotype or shy away from actual real world problems kids may have. And it was funny! I laughed so hard every time Epstein’s Mother sent a note…
I miss good TV. Even Disney and Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network have their drawbacks. Kids shows are not as wholesome as they used to be. And even commercials are sending the wrong messages. I recall one for a cereal, where an older lady is watering her lawn, and a kid is kinking up the gardenhose, only to let it go when she is looking at the head. That is not something I want any kid learning. And reality shows only show the stupidity of people.
So, what shows do you miss? What shows helped to form your view of the world? And more importantly, did anyone else watch Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom all the time??
A Fine Romance
I love romance, and I mean REALLY love romance. No, I usually don’t watch “chick flicks” because they tend to be unrealistic and somewhat maudlin. I prefer the type of romance you find in Wuthering Heights, or Die Hard. C’mon, that movie was totally romantic! He did all that for her!! Killing the bad guys was just a side benefit.
I am lucky to have a romantic hubby. He is not romantic in the usual ways, though. Not many men would buy their wives a machete, much less a gun. But he knows me rather well. In a slightly more romantic vein, he has also written poetry to me:
I’d give to you the very moon,
But I don’t know why you’d want it.
It’s cold and cratered,
Dead and done,
Without a lick of love upon it.
Now, lest y’all think he’s some kind of wonderful, the man will never lose his Man Card™. During my first pregnancy, I was a fool, and decided to test him. At the time, we lived in apartments not one block away from the grocery store. And I mean our apartment was a block away from the grocery store. One night, I had a hankering for mint chocolate chip ice cream. I was well into my fifth month of pregnancy, and it was 10:30 PM. I turned to him with large puppy dog eyes, and told him I really, really wanted some mint chocolate chip ice cream.
He looked at me and said, “You know where the keys are.” He simply was not going to coddle me. And he never did.
There are many levels of romance. Some are subtle, others overblown. What is the most romantic thing you ever did, or have had done for you? Or to you?? 
Accidents and Happenstance
Skyping with Hubby is never boring. You would think that living in the middle of a desert would be boring, but you would be wrong. Everyday he regales me with stories of gore and mayhem, and that’s just during PT. No matter how careful one is, invariably someone will get hurt somehow. Hubby himself doesn’t have a great track record. He’s had a broken finger, bite to the knee (which developed gangrene), hatchet to the leg, sledgehammer to the hand (needing reconstruction), torn hamstring, torn right quadracep, torn ligaments to the right ankle, dislocated shoulder with a torn trapezius muscle, ruptured eardrum (three times), numerous lacerations to the head (from bricks, rocks, bottles, and once from a teddy bear with music box inside), fractured sternum, and of course, getting shot in the arm.
I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THOSE!!!
Sadly, or luckily, all I’ve ever dealt with is a broken toe. The viral meningitis and childbirth were just par for the course. So was the sciatica. And the chronic back pain. Sigh…
So, what’s the worst injury y’all ever sustained? Gory details are fine. The more the better
Can’t Argue With Demotivational Logic
I’m busy packing up my niece’s belongings so she can move out of my sister’s house, so here:
Tell me that’s wrong 
No Coal For YOU!
Well, it’s that time of year again. The time when people everywhere are scrambling around to get their Christmas gift shopping done before the inevitable “What did you get me??” moment sets in. There is nothing attractive about someone with a deer-in-the-headlights look on their face. Especially when it’s your significant other who should know better by now.
Moving on (before a tirade sets in), here is a gift guide for the holiday that will hopefully make things easy….well, easier….ok, not get anyone in trouble.
As a general rule, women hate getting clothing for Christmas, unless they get to pick it out themselves. Sometimes our significant others tend to buy the wrong size. This is a losing situation for them: too small, and we cry about needing a bigger size, or too big, and we cry because they think we are fat. But PJs are different!! The only thing men have to remember is what kind to get. Trust me, you do not want to get a hankie with straps at Victoria’s Secret when your beloved prefers 7 oz weight flannel.
Or vice versa.
Anyway, you can’t go wrong with a PajamaGram. They have beautiful PJs in different styles, and all of them come in a sweet hatbox. You can even have the PJs personalized.
Comfy and cute! And warm…very warm!! And you can wear these all day. Total win!!
Another good gift to give is the gift of scent. Trust me when I say that a woman is more apt to be impressed by a bottle of perfume than by a car deodorizer, ok? However, a man can’t just pick something willy-nilly and think he’s going to get kudos. Tresór by Lancôme may be the second best selling perfume in the world, but that doesn’t mean it will smell like it on her skin. Perusing her vanity table and paying attention to what she wears is crucial here. If that isn’t a possibility, then go out of this world to get her something special!
Zen perfume was synthesized from the scent of roses that were sent up to the space station. Turns out, the scent of roses change when in zero gravity. Yes, I want to grow roses in zero gravity now. What??
Of course, some of y’all will just be too terrified about picking the wrong thing, be it clothing or perfume. In this case I say, go for the bling. Jewelry never fails, as long as it’s not a gangster emblem hanging from a huge chain. That’s just tacky. Necklaces and bracelets are always a safe bet, because you don’t need to know sizes for rings, or if she has pierced ears (you should know these things by now, but I will cut you some slack here). A very popular trend right now is the charm bracelet. Some, like Pandora™ and Trollbeads™, tend to be very pricey, but there are other options that are more affordable, like Brighton. They have a huge selection of charms, which makes making a unique personalized bracelet very easy.
Just remember to pay attention to her favorite things, and you can’t go wrong!
Hope you enjoyed shopping with Aggie. The next instalment will be Blood, Sweat, and Tears. Also known as Valentine’s Day
*Crossposted at Sithy Things.
Halloweenin’
I love this holiday. It is the one day of the year when I can wear the most ridiculous stuff, and no one questions my sanity, or my lack of fashion sense. This is the one day when it is perfectly fine to gorge on candy and sweets, and drink it all down with BOOZE*. Ok, you can do that everyday, but it’s more fun on Halloween.
This year, Little One suggested I dress up as a ladybug. The thought of being a round insect gave me pause. Eldest suggested I wear a toga, but I did that last year, and I hate repeating. Son suggested I go as homicidal maniac, since the look just like everyone else. And he has a point. But making my own costume is 50% of the fun. Well, 75% if I do make-up.
So, my sweet swilling friends, what is the best costume ever, and are you playing dress-up?
Lurkers Delurk!!
Wow, I did NOT expect a full on SHTF post for yesterday’s open thread! Just to clarify, I do not ingest ketchup unless it is as a cooking ingredient in meatloaf or some casserole.
I’m not a philistine.
However, yesterday’s post did manage to bring a few new commenters out of the shadows. And we here at H&B™ always wish to welcome new peeps to our little corner of the Blogosphere. So, pull up a chair, get comfy, and….
LURKERS, DELURK!!!
Let us know a little about yourselves in the comments!! Just keep the spit to the corners, and the empties by the trash
IMPORTANT UPDATE BELOW THE FOLD!!!
Quandary of the Ages
It never fails. This is asked at least once a week. And no one can ever supply a satisfactory answer. Experts have weighed in on the subject, have supplied their own opinions on the subject, and yet, no one can come to an agreement. So I ask you….
Do you put ketchup on your steak???
Inquiring minds NEED to know!!!
Good Cop, Bad Cop
This morning I was perusing Fox News for…well, news, having heard that the two American hikers in Iran had been given 8-year sentences (why the hell haven’t we bombed this country to hell, where they want to go??), Syria has effectively told Obama that Assad is staying, so fuck off, (another country deserving of many daisies--as in daisy cutters), and Egypt is removing its ambassador from Israel. Things are coming to a head over in that sand pit. That said, something else in the site caught my eye:
Who Played the Toughest Cop?
Hm…..
I admit, I do like to watch a good cop movie, and by that, I mean a good movie about cops. Most everyone does. There is something about a good guy catching the bad guy. And when the cop is bad, you really want him to get caught and face justice, because he should know better than anyone, right?
Anyway, the list had eleven actors who portrayed police officers in film. And of course, the best cop ever was included:
But egregiously, this was NOT included:
What…The…HELL??? They include those pissants Colin Farrell and Benicio Del Toro, and even add Jake Gyllenhaal in a role that isn’t even freakin’ finished yet, but skip John “Yippee Kah Yay, Motherfucker” McClain??
What kind of a commie bastard does that?? Fucking morons, that’s who.
I may need to break my diet for this….
Date Night
I know, I know…what the hell is that??
If memory serves, it’s a ritual undertaken by two people who have more than a passing interest in each other. No, I didn’t look it up in the dictionary! Seriously though, I remember my sister going out on dates. Most of them comprised of going to a movie, and then McDonald’s, or if it was a special occasion, a nice restaurant. When Hubby and I were dating, we stuck to doing the inexpensive stuff: campus free movie night, no cover charge before a certain time, etc. Sometimes just going down to sit by the main water fountain was fine. The other day Eldest was telling me of her friends, and how they went on a date to the Riverwalk and had dinner on the boat. And it wasn’t even Prom, y’all. I asked her whatever happened to just going to a movie, and she gave me her little condescending smile and said, “Mom, that’s like for groups, you know…”
My, how times have changed. I still search for the ideal date night. Knowing me, it’s the one without the kids!
And what is your ideal date night?
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