ZURICH - Blues musician Johnny Winter is dead at age 70, according to Zurich police. Although no foul…
Mope gets points for being the first to send news.
"And don't forget: keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars."
British actor Bob Hoskins, whose varied career ranged from noir drama "Mona Lisa" to animated fantasy…
Funny hooker story from Marion County-Ocala, Florida. A hooker with morals? No way!
I love it when my mom calls me for a recipe. Makes me feel all grown up and June Cleaver-like. She called me on Tuesday for a recipe of mine, a simple and easy chocolate mousse. No baking, no raw eggs, and just goood. Anyway, things did not transpire as I thought they would.
Mom: So how do I make your mousse?
Me: Well, first you take a pint of heavy whipping cream…
Mom: Ok, Cool Whip.
Me: No, mom, actual whipping cream.
Mom: Just like Cool Whip.
Me: NOT LIKE COOL WHIP!! You take the pint and beat it on high until thick and stiff peaks form.
(Two words for y’all: SHUT.UP.--Aggie)
Mom: I can use Cool Whip.
By this time I was a bit exasperated. But she is my mom, and if she wants to
ruin the best dessert evah use Cool Whip, let her use Cool Whip. If that had been the end, it would have been fine. But nooooooo….
Mom: OK, how much Nutella?
Me: What size of jar do you have?
Mom: I don’t know…doesn’t say how much is in it.
Me: Is it a big jar?
Mom: I can’t tell…
Me: Ok, mom, I have the big jar and that’s 26 ounces, which is a big cereal bowl size.
Mom: Oh, this one is the small jar.
Me: Ok, use about half to two-thirds of the jar for the--
Mom: Oh…the expiration date is 12-10-05.
Me: Do NOT use that Nutella, mom!
Mom: It’s still good, honey.
Me: (praying my dad’s insurance is up to date)
This would be hilarious if it weren’t going to be me in twenty years…..
Yes, yes it was And I had a great day! Family and friends called constantly, interrupting me all day, wanting to wish me a happy birthday. Usually I try to forget/ erase my birthdays. Something always goes wrong. One year my parents totally forgot for three days. My sisters have mistaken the date. My brother….well, he’s a bit busy living his life, but he remembers, especially when his mom gives him a reminder call. Anyway, since ArmedGeek gave me admin priviledges, I figure I can abuse them once in a while, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
It’s the least I can do for y’all
Last night, my kids left a bag of chocolate chips, the kind for baking, on the counter. Inadvertently this morning I hit the bag, sending chips out of the opening onto the countertop. Well, hell… they couldn’t go back in the bag now, can they?? So, I started nibbling on them while I cleaned, until I noticed they were gone. ALL GONE!!!! And I’m not talking just three or four, either. Nor a handful…that would still be in the realm of normal. No…I’m talking about half the chips in the bag. FOR BREAKFAST!!! I kept telling myself, “Just one more won’t hurt…” The fact that I told myself that litany over fifty times didn’t register.
So, that brings me to my Open Thread question du jour. What is your funniest vice? Not the worst, mind you, just the most fun. I don’t have time for that, nor do I have a license to practice psychiatry.