When not even Hell wants the coffee it goes to one of two places – juror waiting rooms and Starbucks™. — The Glorious Lemur King

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Apr 14

Just Desserts

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Thursday, April 14, 2011 in Fambly, Food Porn, Teh Funny

I love it when my mom calls me for a recipe. Makes me feel all grown up and June Cleaver-like. She called me on Tuesday for a recipe of mine, a simple and easy chocolate mousse. No baking, no raw eggs, and just goood. Anyway, things did not transpire as I thought they would.

Mom: So how do I make your mousse?

Me: Well, first you take a pint of heavy whipping cream…

Mom: Ok, Cool Whip.

Me: No, mom, actual whipping cream.

Mom: Just like Cool Whip.

Me: NOT LIKE COOL WHIP!! You take the pint and beat it on high until thick and stiff peaks form.

(Two words for y’all: SHUT.UP.--Aggie)

Mom: I can use Cool Whip.

By this time I was a bit exasperated. But she is my mom, and if she wants to ruin the best dessert evah use Cool Whip, let her use Cool Whip. If that had been the end, it would have been fine. But nooooooo….

Mom: OK, how much Nutella?

Me: What size of jar do you have?

Mom: I don’t know…doesn’t say how much is in it.

Me: Is it a big jar?

Mom: I can’t tell…

Me: ……

Me: Ok, mom, I have the big jar and that’s 26 ounces, which is a big cereal bowl size.

Mom: Oh, this one is the small jar.

Me: Ok, use about half to two-thirds of the jar for the--

Mom: Oh…the expiration date is 12-10-05.

Me: Do NOT use that Nutella, mom!

Mom: It’s still good, honey.

Me: (praying my dad’s insurance is up to date)

This would be hilarious if it weren’t going to be me in twenty years…..

Nov 15

They Say It’s Your Birthday!!!

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, November 15, 2010 in Personal

Yes, yes it was :) And I had a great day! Family and friends called constantly, interrupting me all day, wanting to wish me a happy birthday. Usually I try to forget/ erase my birthdays. Something always goes wrong. One year my parents totally forgot for three days. My sisters have mistaken the date. My brother….well, he’s a bit busy living his life, but he remembers, especially when his mom gives him a reminder call. Anyway, since ArmedGeek gave me admin priviledges, I figure I can abuse them once in a while, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! ;)

It’s the least I can do for y’all ;)

Oct 1

Vice or Versa

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, October 1, 2010 in Funny Pics, Open Thread, Teh Funny

Last night, my kids left a bag of chocolate chips, the kind for baking, on the counter. Inadvertently this morning I hit the bag, sending chips out of the opening onto the countertop. Well, hell… they couldn’t go back in the bag now, can they?? So, I started nibbling on them while I cleaned, until I noticed they were gone. ALL GONE!!!! And I’m not talking just three or four, either. Nor a handful…that would still be in the realm of normal. No…I’m talking about half the chips in the bag. FOR BREAKFAST!!! I kept telling myself, “Just one more won’t hurt…” The fact that I told myself that litany over fifty times didn’t register.

That was me this morning, only no glass door, and I have opposable thumbs.

So, that brings me to my Open Thread question du jour. What is your funniest vice? Not the worst, mind you, just the most fun. I don’t have time for that, nor do I have a license to practice psychiatry. :D