ZURICH - Blues musician Johnny Winter is dead at age 70, according to Zurich police. Although no foul…
Mope gets points for being the first to send news.
"And don't forget: keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars."
British actor Bob Hoskins, whose varied career ranged from noir drama "Mona Lisa" to animated fantasy…
Funny hooker story from Marion County-Ocala, Florida. A hooker with morals? No way!
This weekend amid the heart wrenching hells of Venezuela, Ukraine, Syria, Thailand, and God only knows how many other countries, comes some good news. First off, Alec Baldwin is just plain givin’ up.
He’s just tired of being hounded by the “Gay Department of Justice”, y’all. He is tired of fighting TMZ photogs and wants to quit public life, so logically he is leaving NYC to move to LA, you know, home of TMZ and Hollywood.
Logic is not his friend.
On the heels of that bit of serendipity, comes the news that Piers Morgan’s show has been given the axe. And I don’t mean rank deodorant, which in hind sight would have been an improvement. I guess viewers of all political and ideological leanings got tired of his condescending schtick. Sure didn’t help that he came to a country that beat his own with muskets, either. And I am sure that being a know-it-all didn’t fly well, especially in view of his many phone hacking scandals during his time as a tabloid editor back in UK. Common manners dictate that you don’t shit on your host’s welcome mat.
As to the third, we can only speculate on who it could be. Personally, I’m kinda hoping it’s the entire cast of The View
Good Lord A’mighty.
THAT is what the American Olympians will be wearing at the opening ceremonies in Sochi. In short, the mother of all ugly sweaters paired with sweatpants and fuck ugly boots. About the only redeeming item is the turtleneck. This is the main reason I don’t wear anything by Ralph Lauren. The ostentatiousness of it leaves the taste of bitter almonds laced with battery acid in my mouth. Bad enough that the blazers he designed for the 2012 Olympics had a gargantuan Polo Pony embroidered above the right breast. Now he has to go and design possibly the worst outfit evah and still manage to emblazon his initials on the pant leg.
(Ok, I took a break while scouring the internet and found this. Maybe this is not the worst that could have been.)
Still, I do miss the certain American style that we had cultured over the years. It was understated, yet it managed to imprint what our society stands for without having to scream it like a banshee in heat.
Remember those? Lake Placid, 1980. Designed by Levi’s, who also designed the 1984 Winter Olympic team uniforms. THOSE uniforms were the embodiment of Americanism. My dad saw them and his first words were, “Huh, they look American, finally”. Yes, FINALLY. And now we rely on some “fashion designer” who is more concerned with product placement? Seriously, who paid $795 for the 2012 blazer? That blazer was the 1980′s prom dress in the Paris fashion show that was the 2012 Winter Olympics.
Honestly, we have gone from exceptional to hipstery douchebaggery. I have plaid pants that have more balls than those uniforms.
And what say y’all?
I love perusing the social-site-with-faces. I get to see the funny stuff, get news links with you know, ACTUAL NEWS, updates about family and friends, and of course, the requisite LSD-fueled screeds that just make my mornings.
This Monday’s entry is from none other than the Puffy Ho®. Y’all can go look for it. I can’t link it here. I just showered and we are under water restrictions. Again. Anyway, it is titled, 12 Reasons Why Obama is One of the Best Presidents Ever.
Quit laughing. I haven’t even started fisking it yet. He begins with duality.
With tears in my eyes, and joy in my heart, I stood alongside people of color across the nation as we celebrated America’s first inauguration of a black president. As a young black man, I felt a true sense of patriotism as I witnessed our country rally together to show, finally, that we are more concerned about who is the most qualified man for the job, regardless of race or age.
Uh huh. So you are happy a black guy won but it has NOTHING to do with race. Got it.
He goes on to say that sure, the Prez has had a few missteps, just like any other president. He says that after he claims the predecessor was a “colossal failure”, ok? And then, hilarity ensues.
1-- He is one for The People.
As long as “The People” means his campaign contributors and apologists, sure.
2-- He is for civil rights.
Tell that to those still screaming for same sex marriage, to the whistleblowers who are in hiding for outing the NSA, and TEA Party members being given a colonoscopy by the IRS.
3-- He is for one race -the human race.
I did snarf at this. Thoughts of George Zimmerman, Sgt. James Crowley, the people threatened by the Black Panthers all come to mind. And if you think of that too, then you’re RACIST!!!
4-- He is for a healthcare system that brings hope and healing to the hurting.
But you can’t hope to keep your insurance or your doctor.
5-- He is for the middle class.
Sorry, I can’t help it. Better to laugh than to think of the total debt accruing on the middle class’ shoulders.
6-- He is for women’s rights.
Meanwhile not a peep from him regarding the vile comments made at conservative women, such as Sarah Palin. But Hera forbid anyone take a swipe at Sandra Fluke and her $3,000 contraception.
7-- He is for doing away with pomp and circumstance.
Golfing, million dollar vacations, and monthly concerts by hip musicians do not count. And the Greek columns couldn’t be reached for comment.
8-- He is for the environment.
I don’t know about y’all, but I’m still waiting for the oceans to recede and the planet to heal.
9-- He is for veterans.
This, as he makes suggestions to change the benefits and attempts to charge them for their healthcare. This, as he shuts them out of their own memorial. By the way, how many brass have been fired now??
10-- He is for peace.
Syria, the Arab Spring, Iran, Afghanistan, Benghazi…..
11-- He is for education.
Common Core, anyone?
12-- He is for entertaining the masses.
TOTUS could not be reached for comment.
If y’all feel like reading the article, it’s under The Blog at the Puffy Ho®. But best be prepared to spew your drink and take a long shower afterwards.
Most of y’all know I don’t care much for Tom Cruise. I think he is an over-rated, egotistical peacock with the cranial capacity of a toadstool. But that’s just me. To this day I have never seen Top Gun, and can’t for the life of me figure out what Mimi Rodgers, Nicole Kidman, and Katie Holmes were using before they entered the Rehab of Normal Life™. Anyway, I was always content to just ignore him and give a pass to his entire filmography. Until I read this.
Tom says his location shoots are just like serving a tour in Afghanistan, “That’s what it feels like. And certainly on this last movie, it was brutal. It was brutal.”
What the ever loving FUCK?????
You DARE compare yourself to a soldier serving in Afghanistan??
You, who makes upwards $20 million a movie??
You, who has assistants at every turn??
You, who manages to have a mansion in Beverly Hills, an “estate” in Telluride, AND a condo you are trying to sell in New York City??
You, who owns a jet AND a Aviat – Pitts S-2B P-51 Mustang?? A FUCKING P-51 MUSTANG???
You, who drives around in a Bugatti Veyron because the Porche isn’t good enough??
You dare to compare yourself to an American Soldier?? A man who signs away his very LIFE so people like YOU can spout off your ignorance? A man who is lucky if his paycheck comes through each month? A man who has to live on that paltry $25K??? A man who will volunteer to fight an enemy there, just so that enemy can’t hurt the likes of people like YOU over here??
FUCK THAT ON A STICK WITH HOT SAUCE!!!
This particular Army wife thinks that you are so full of ignorant shit, giving you an enema would leave a pair of eyebrows. You have proven to the world what a complete and total jackass you are, and there will be no recovering from that. So please, go fuck yourself. Until such time as you are willing to stand in the path of a bullet for your brother in arms, or take the blast of a grenade to save the life of an Afghan child, or even go out and become the target of an unknown enemy, uncertain if you’ll survive long enough to see tomorrow, go find a couch to violate.
Screenshot of the deposition:
I am willing to give Mr. Cruise some veracity in thinking that being apart from your child is brutal. The comparison he chose to accept (since it was done by his counsel most likely at his request) is still appalling by virtue of the fact that he still compares missing his child, whom he can see when he wishes, and whom he has chosen to not see as often due to the demands of his work schedule, to a soldier who HAS to miss his child by virtue of the fact that HE is in a war zone. You may argue that the soldier also chose his profession knowing the risks.
But there is a difference between a choice made to help protect our freedoms, and a choice made to charge people $15 for a movie ticket.
Because someone has to do it.
Now that I have scared you shitless from the interwebnets, go enjoy the day.
AFTER you scrub your retinas with Drano™
I never link to the NYT, so if you want to read the story, go to Drudge.
Kerry Announces $250 Million in U.S. Aid for Egypt
Seriously. what the SHIT?? Prez Obama promised that shithole ONE BILLION DOLLARS. This is the first disbursement. Meanwhile, in the Land of Reality I like to call the United States of America, he is implementing Sequestration.
The aid announced Sunday consists of two parts. One is a $190 million infusion for Egypt’s budget intended to address what Mr. Kerry said was the country’s “extreme needs.” That assistance has already been approved by Congress.
Mr. Kerry also pledged $60 million for the creation of a fund to support small businesses, which will provide “direct support to key engines of democratic change in Egypt, including Egypt’s entrepreneurs and its young people.”
“Extreme needs”?? What exactly is that? And supporting small businesses??
How about supporting OUR small businesses first? How about meeting the extreme needs of Americans still without a place of their own after Hurricane Sandy? How about meeting the extreme needs of people who have to work two jobs because their hours were cut due to the implementation of Obamacare? Or how about meeting the needs of those being furloughed during Sequestration???
We are essentially funding them to hate us. Well, fuck that on a stick with sauce. They can hate us for free.
I had to laugh last night at the Drudge Report™ headline. Matt Drudge is a master of juxtaposition.
Well, of course he does. That’s what the drones are for.
And then I read this:
ABC Gives Sen. Menendez Six Minute Interview With No Questions About FBI’s Hooker Investigation
And my thought was, why ask? It’s a resumé enhancer for a Democrat. Had it been male prostitutes, well then he would have gotten a promotion to Obama’s cabinet.
And finally, I read more on Bloomie, and shook my head.
Seriously, why would anyone expect Bloomberg to practice anything he preaches, or dictates? That’s for the Little People™.
So, there you have a few explanations on today’s headlines. Hope y’all can still enjoy your day!
Honestly, I can’t tell if it’s satire or not.
I think the spelling gives it away. Then again, the paper could have done a spell and grammar check before publishing.
You know, twenty years ago, this would have been clearly satirical. Sad that today we can’t be sure.
In the “Who Else Saw This Coming” file, Charlie Crist registers as a Democrat.
Crist — Florida’s former Republican governor who relished the tough-on-crime nickname “Chain Gang Charlie” and used to describe himself variously as a “Ronald Reagan Republican” and a “Jeb Bush Republican” — on Friday evening signed papers changing his party from independent to Democrat.
He did so during a Christmas reception at the White House, where President Barack Obama greeted the news with a fist bump for the man who had a higher profile campaigning for Obama’s re-election this year than any Florida Democrat.
Frankly, his new nickname should be The Chameleon. Seems to me he changes with whatever is the “in thing” at the moment.
Charlie and Carole Crist had a tour of the White House on Thursday and ran into Valerie Jarrett, a senior adviser to the president. He mentioned that he was thinking of signing papers to become a Democrat the next night at a White House reception.
“She said, ‘You’re always welcome in my party. I think it’s a great idea,’ ” recounted Crist.
I would take that recounted statement with a grain of salt, but for the fact that Jarrett really thinks the Democratic Party belongs to her.
One thing’s for sure: tanning salons in Florida may suffer the tax, but Charlie more than makes up for that.
Today came the news that the jokers in Oslo gave the Nobel Piss Prize to the European Union.
The same European Union that is experiencing riots in Greece, marches against the EU in Spain, crises in Italy, Portugal and Ireland, where Belgium STILL has no working government, immigration is setting records, where France has no-go zones in Muslim districts (for fear of fires and riots), and could not figure out how to stop the slaughters in the Balkan Wars without (illegal) intervention from the US.
But in its defense, they have done far more for the advancement of “Peace” than Prez Obama.
It has been years since this award meant anything of value. It has become a joke, the laughing stock of the Prizes. Lucky for the others, they are awarded in Sweden, not Norway. I long for the day that someone worthy will win it. But I don’t think I will see it in this lifetime. Ever since Yasser Arafat won it, I have had my doubts.
And don’t get me started on the IPCC and The Goron.
So, who do y’all think would have been a worthy candidate to win the Nobel Peace Prize? My vote goes to the nukes