Headlines
Man Robs Bank Armed with McDonald's Apple Pies
Police Arrest Naked Man Found Covered in Peanut Butter & Chocolate
Man Dies After Swallowing Dentures During Sex
'Soul Train' creator Don Cornelius dead
James Farentino dies at 73
White Castle Considers Offering Beer and Wine(I thought is where people went when already drunk)
America is Drunk(someone needs to slap Dr. Keith Ablow or buy him a drink or two)
Occupiers Pissing on Churches Housing Them (Literally)
Obviously Not Two Front Teeth
I love Christmas. I love Hanukkah. I even love the paganism of Winter Solstice. I love giving at this time of year, in charity, to friends and neighbors, to family, and even to some I’ve never met before, but consider friends all the same. I love walking into a store and perusing for the one thing that screams a recipient’s name, or making my own gift for a special person.
I just do not get the overblown, overpriced, one-of-a-kind useless gift that some people with money to burn will buy.
One year, the Neiman Marcus catalog had a (I’m not kidding here) Longhorn Steer Portable Desk. The desk was the average size of a Longhorn steer, and had wheels hidden under the “hooves” so you, the wealthy rancher, could roll it out to the pasture and do business while being cleverly disguised from your herd. The price on that tomfoolery was $65,000.
That was the price in 1984.
Of course, we are all familiar with the Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Bra™. The 2010 edition was worth only $2 million:
That bra wasn’t all that spectacular. What’s in it sure is, but the bra, not so much. I much prefer this year’s entry into the Fantasy Bra That Will Never Sell™ category:
Why?? Because PEARLS!!! And Miranda Kerr looks happy compared to Adriana Lima, who always looks so damn angry, probably because her bra is too tight.
Any other ostentatious gifts that boggle the mind? If you know of any, leave links in your comments so we all can laugh and laugh 
Europe According to the World
Yeah, I got nuthin’ today.
This is What It Sounds Like When Boys Cry
A fleet of high-performance cars, including eight Ferraris, has been involved in one of the most expensive accidents in history after an astonishing multi-car pile-up in Japan.
I’m not a big fan of Lamborghinis and Ferraris, but HOLY SHIT!!! If they wanted to break or make a record, they succeeded.
I can hear the whimpers from here. Miraculously, no one was seriously hurt. Not even the poor sap that was in a Toyota Prius.
Such was the severity of the damage, several of the luxury cars have been written off, leaving their owners with the nightmare scenario of seeing their prized possessions turned into expensive scrap metal.
The total damage bill is expected to hit several million pounds. A new Ferrari 355 retails for several hundred thousand pounds.
Grab a tissue, gentlemen. There is no shame in crying.
There is only shame in being such a piss-poor driver.
Hat tip to Hubby
When You See It….
You will snort…
I’m still busy around here, but I thought the guys deserved some tight, white pants today
Kitchen Remodel
I had my kitchen redone about two years ago, and I love it, but I always like to see what else is out there, since we are not retiring to this home. Eventually, we will find something else in a more…. shall we say, greener part of Texas. But for now, I like to look for new home improvements.
Just look at that awesome sink!! LOOK AT IT!!!
I think that’s what I want for my next house
Starry, Starry Night
It has been quite a while since I did an astronomy picture at H&B. There are so many to choose from, but I always turn to the classics.
This is a close up of the light echo from V838 Monocerotis taken in September, 2006. A gorgeous pic of Monocerotis can be found here.
Have a great weekend, and don’t forget, tonight is a full moon. Enjoy the heavens 
The Pursuit of Happy
An online friend of mine, Jay in Ames, told me of how his wife had worked at a truck stop as a waitress, and always had a guy who ordered his dessert first. He’d eat that, then his meal. She asked him why one time, and he said “that way there’s always room for dessert”. That is an awesome way to have a little happiness in your life. A simple rule for being happy, if you will. One of my simple rules for happy is taking a bubblebath.
I know…. that’s no big secret around here.
If this were my tub, you wouldn't see me here for WEEKS!!
There are many simple rules for happy. I don’t say happiness because I feel that is a more profound state of mind. I just want to share what lifts our spirits from time to time, be it eating dessert first, or going outside to let the sun soak on your face. That which rejuvenates the soul is worth the time to ponder 
Pack Your Bags
Yesterday was the last day of school for my kidlets. Usually, this means my descent into madness, but as busy as I have been with their schools and homework and extra-curricular activities, I’m pretty sure I’ll get to enjoy the break along with them. However, they weren’t home 30 minutes before Eldest told me about all the parties and celebrations she was invited to attend. Then Little One piped up about her invitations. Son wisely kept his mouth shut, probably because he wants me to make him an account so he can play poker with the rest of the degenerates here. But as soon as those parties are over, the question will be, “Where are we going on vacation???“
I'm the one wearing pearls.
As y’all know, Hubby is stationed in Egypt, and we were all set to go, until the Arabs decided to pull a Spring. Now with travel restrictions, I’m leaning towards meeting Hubby somewhere more stable, like Spain. Or maybe the Canary Islands, since I have relatives there. That is, provided I decide to fly alone. The thought of the TSA groping my kids is like a hot poker to my eye. If the kids want a vacation, we will go in the Mom Mobile, most likely to visit family throughout Texas. Hopefully, they will have plenty of booze available.
And what are y’all planning for your summer vacation?
Mom Mobile
I have been the somewhat-proud, often-times frustrated owner of a minivan for about eight years. Having three kids close in age necessitated a larger vehicle to accommodate car seats and snacks and toys and books and everything a parent has to drag with him or her to make the kids happy and quiet.
But my kidlets are growing now. And as much as they would hate it, they can now sit next to each other without screaming about one touching the other. Ok, two would sit fine, the Little One still does it, mostly because it bugs the other two no end. But I have been thinking of getting an upgrade:
Yep, the BMW 3 Series hardtop convertible. And unlike the Z Series, my ass wouldn’t feel like it was dragging on the floor.
Yes, yes… I know I’m just dreaming. But don’t wake me up just yet
Update [ArmedGeek]:
Since Aggie posted something she’d like to be in, I thought I’d post something I’d like to be in…
Yes, yes, I know I’m just dreaming. But don’t wake me up just yet
Hobby Horsing Around
As y’all may know, I do what is commonly referred to as “scrapbooking”, also known as “spending money cutting paper”. Though I admit I have done less scrapbooking with photos and more with decorative elements, I still love it. It makes me feel artistic knowing I can do something pretty with just glue, paper and trinkets. Most people would look at my “work of art”, and say, “Oh, that’s nice…” while thinking, “WTF is that for??” It’s something I do for me. Ok, no, not really, because every time I make something I do it with someone in mind, and end up giving it away. But not this time!!! THIS time I made something for moi:
Yes, not finished with it yet, since I need bullet casings and some other accoutrements for the last empty block. But I’ll finish it this weekend, and display it…somewhere. Probably hang it with the numerous stained-glass pieces I have finished, along with the cross-stitched panels…. Sigh….
So, what kinds of hobbies do y’all enjoy? Anything that requires work disguised as fun qualifies
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