Obviously Not Two Front Teeth

I love Christmas. I love Hanukkah. I even love the paganism of Winter Solstice. I love giving at this time of year, in charity, to friends and neighbors, to family, and even to some I’ve never met before, but consider friends all the same. I love walking into a store and perusing for the one thing that screams a recipient’s name, or making my own gift for a special person.

I just do not get the overblown, overpriced, one-of-a-kind useless gift that some people with money to burn will buy.

One year, the Neiman Marcus catalog had a (I’m not kidding here) Longhorn Steer Portable Desk. The desk was the average size of a Longhorn steer, and had wheels hidden under the “hooves” so you, the wealthy rancher, could roll it out to the pasture and do business while being cleverly disguised from your herd. The price on that tomfoolery was $65,000.

That was the price in 1984.

Of course, we are all familiar with the Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Bra™. The 2010 edition was worth only $2 million:

That bra wasn’t all that spectacular. What’s in it sure is, but the bra, not so much. I much prefer this year’s entry into the Fantasy Bra That Will Never Sell™ category:

Why?? Because PEARLS!!! And Miranda Kerr looks happy compared to Adriana Lima, who always looks so damn angry, probably because her bra is too tight.

Any other ostentatious gifts that boggle the mind? If you know of any, leave links in your comments so we all can laugh and laugh