“The average American has one ball and one tit. You now know everything you need to know about statistics.” — via David, Third World County, “Mr Natural’s Rules of Women and the Universe”–circa 1977

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Jul 5

How to Shorten a Debate

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Saturday, July 5, 2014 in Government, Idiotarians, News

I hate debates. As much as I enjoy seeing all sides of an issue, I hate the circular arguments that can result from overly- long debates. Usually the fault lies with the one who feels most defensive on the subject. Ok, with the one who feels. With the end of the SCOTUS session, I knew I was not going to be disappointed on social media as far as arguments went. I did learn to keep things very brief. I have better things to do with my time than spend it going about in circular arguments.

Ain’t nobody got time for that!

So, here are a few examples to help y’all shorten the debate so y’all can have time to enjoy.

ZOMG!!! Those poor, undocumented children (who just happen to come across our supposedly secure southern border)!!! We need to bring their families up here so they can be reunited. DON’T BE HEARTLESS!!! ELEVENTY!!!

I have two words for you: Elian Gonzales.

I am sick and tired of having men decide what a woman can do with her body, PERIOD!!!

Can you say, Roe vs. Wade? I knew you could!

No one has any business with what goes on in my bedroom!!!

How quickly they forget Lawrence vs. Texas.

An employer has no right to deny me healthcare!!!

Pesky rule, delaying the employer mandate, huh?

Religious zealots will now control my body. BURN THEM ALL!!!

Those evul democrats and damn Bill Clinton and his pen!!

My birth control is none of my boss’ business!!!

So use your wages to buy your own. Simple, eh?

I hope this helps y’all with any fence-sitters, or maybe a few liberal friends. I got through to my hippie niece on the whole Hobby Lobby issue, so I consider it progress, not progressive ;)

Jun 13

Open Thread Friday!!

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, June 13, 2014 in AssHatery, Government, Idiotarians, Islamofascist nutjobs, religion of piece, terrorism

By now y’all know so-called “Sgt” Bergdahl is now stateside. You also know Iraq is about to be taken over by ISIS, radicals that make Al Qaeda look like diplomats. You are also aware of the impoverished former Secretary of State’s new work of fiction. This week has been nothing but bad news for this administration. So the only recourse left for our Prez is to go visit a Sioux reservation in the Dakotas.

Six years after he promised to help with conditions in Indian Country.

embarrassed-polar-bear

Seriously, what is this I don’t even….

Go nuts trying to figure this out, because all I can see is our leader letting helping the world burn.

May 23

Everyone’s Special, Dash…

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, May 23, 2014 in AssHatery, Education, Idiotarians, Political Correctness

…. which means no one is.

North-Hill-Field-Day-announcement-crop

I wish this was a joke. But this comes on the heels of another school cancelling Honors Night because they didn’t want other kids feeling “left out”. Thankfully, parents protested and the event is back on schedule. Since when is it a secular sin to achieve?? It is human nature to try and be the best one can be at what one does. The real reward is good feelings?? No, the real reward is EARNING SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU TRIED YOUR BEST AND BEAT THOSE WHO DID NOT. The good feelings come from achieving, not from Kumbaya. This is just another attempt to equalize misery. They have done away with the red pen for grading, they have done away with marking  “X”s, all school supplies are placed together for equal distribution, and no child can have a nicer notebook than another: all must be the same BRAND.

My daughter was tossing out some of her awards from the past few years. When I asked her why she told me they meant nothing, since everyone got the same award. She gave them to me to recycle into art. A part of me was a bit heartbroken to see how callously she tossed them out, but I was proud of her for recognizing that SHE isn’t a special snowflake. Her personal achievements vastly outnumber the cookie cutter awards doled out for the masses, and she knows that. Giving every kid a trophy for participation and good feelings isn’t encouraging any self-esteem. It just discourages incentive.

And that’s the first step in breaking the human spirit.

May 16

Henny for Lots of Pennies

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, May 16, 2014 in AssHatery, ClimateGate, Idiotarians, Left Wing Media, Total Bullshit, Weather

Y’all remember Henny Penny? AKA Chicken Little? Apparently she got hit on the head with a chunk of Antarctic ice and is screaming about the eventual demise of Washington, D.C.

What will become of the nation’s capital?

The huge West Antarctic ice sheet is slowly collapsing, and two groups of scientists say the melting is now an unstoppable event.

Melting ice will cause sea levels to rise higher than initially projected, which is cause for concern for D.C.-area scientists and local urban planners.

The rising seas will affect local treasures, including the Chesapeake Bay and the country’s iconic monuments along the National Mall.

“We’ve reached the point of no return,” says Brenda Ekwurzel, senior climate scientist with the Union of Concerned Scientists. “We can expect by the end of the century, according to the National Climate Assessment, anywhere between one and five feet of sea-level rise.”

That’s only the beginning.

I know, I know…y’all are out of shocked faces by now. Global cooling Global warming Climate change Climate chaos is super happening over in Antarctica. The ice sheet is breaking!! ICE IS MELTING SO SEA LEVELS WILL RISE AND DOGS AND CATS WILL END UP LIVING TOGETHER!!! (Say it. You know you want to!) So as the sea level rises we are in danger of our so-called beloved national capital from being underwater. Weather peeps can’t possibly predict the weather for the workweek, but BY GOD they can sure tell when we are all going to die because of anthropomorphic global warming CLIMATE CHAOS. Henny Penny is screaming that the sky is falling the water is rising, just so we can spend money towards…. barriers and raising bulkheads. But nothing TOO high because that may obstruct the aesthetics of Old Town Alexandria, and you can’t have that. And as for DC, they admit it is doable to enclose it, but it would be very expensive.

“The worry to our children is, not only will this continue, but it might accelerate pretty fast,” says [Bill] Boicourt, of the University of Maryland.

Well, y’all knew this was going to be plugged For the Children™. Yes, I’m out of shocked faces, too. They also give a shout-out to cutting emissions, too. Can’t let that tidbit be ignored. Never mind that ice breaks off when it gets too heavy, or that this past April saw record-breaking levels of ice forming in Antarctica, exceeding the past record for Antarctic ice cover by about 320,000 square kilometers. No, the ice breaking means dead polar bears somewhere and children who can no longer enjoy a trip to see the new AGW chart at the Smithsonian.

I don’t need to be a weather expert to call bullshit on this. If the possibility of DC being submerged in water were real, those Congress rats would have fled long ago.

Apr 25

Retro Politic

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, April 25, 2014 in AssHatery, Idiotarians, Politics

A few days ago I got a “suggested page” on my social-site-with-faces-page. It was for support for Mrs. Hillary Clinton to run for Prez in 2016. I wasn’t surprised I got the suggestion for the page. After all, that site was founded by a really big supporter of Prez Obama and liberal policies. I also have quite a few liberal friends who tend to post their opinions rather vividly. Algorithms being what they are, I invariably get a ton of commie crap. Alarming AND entertaining in one package!

Anyway, this photo jumped out at me, and not because it was entertaining.

hillary poster

WHAT THE SHIT????

(more…)

Apr 11

Sauce for the Gander

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, April 11, 2014 in Idiotarians, Open Thread

I was perusing Drudge Report this morning laughing over a shoe, a resignation, and a tantrum, when a certain link caught my eye.

University of Connecticut officials have suspended a sorority as they investigate allegations that its members forced men to drink booze, eat dog treats, paint their bodies, wear women’s underwear and take alcohol shots off each other’s bodies.

Now, at first, I had to laugh. My first thought was, “Suuuuure…. the guys were promised the Land of Plenty in return for playing along.” After all, they were members of a fraternity, and most likely have experience in what I call “quiet hazing”, where pledges have to do some weird shit in order to get in, but nothing so auspicious that the members would get arrested for harassment and hazing. But then I re-read the article again, and it gave me pause.

delta_zeta_logo_lg

What if they were threatened?

Greek mixers are a staple in colleges. One sorority invited one fraternity for a party, they make t-shirts and sell them to raise money to pay for the drinks and food. Happens all the time. But in this day and age, I can no longer assume that the guys were “promised” anything, especially when sexual harassment laws on college campuses have been twisted so much that now men carry the burden of being told they are guilty without due process, and can lose everything. I wouldn’t put it past the gals to have threatened them with rape and police enquiry if they did not participate. I am not saying that happened. But I do think that the possibility percentage has increased dramatically in the past few years.

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? :D

Apr 7

Another Shrubbery?

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, April 7, 2014 in AssHatery, ILLEGAL-immigration, Politics

Yea…no. I think I’m done.

I have no issues with the Bush family. None. I happen to admire them all, each for their accomplishments in office, and out of it. And more so their wives for being so strong. That’s not to say I haven’t disagreed with some of their policies. But I’m getting a very, very bad vibe from former governor Jeb Bush. A while back he was really shooting down any idea of him running for Prez. Now? He is embracing amnesty.

I’m going to say this and it will be on tape, and so be it. The way I look at this is someone who comes to our country because they couldn’t come legally, they come to our country because their family’s dad who loves their children was worried that their children didn’t have food on the table, and they wanted to make sure their family was intact.

So, the dad leaves the family to make money here, and send it back, but instead the family follows because they want the family to be intact? I can understand that. My dad came to Texas and we waited a year before moving, so that he was settled in his new job and could afford housing for us. But the Dollar goes just as far in Puerto Rico as it does here (or did then). My issue is, the American Dollar goes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay father in Mexico than it does here. So you would give that gravy train up for getting peanuts here instead? Sounds to me like our welfare system is far more generous than Mexico’s.

And they crossed the border because they had no other means to work to be able to provide for their family. Yes, they broke the law, but it’s not a felony. it’s kind of — it’s a — it’s an act of love. It’s an act of commitment to your family.

First time you enter illegally into the US is a misdemeanor, but the second and any subsequent entries is a FELONY. And to call it an act of love? I know several Mexicans that are STILL waiting for their legal entry into the US. They show respect for our rule of law and get shafted for it. Tell them how loving it is for the illegal to cut in line.

I honestly think that’s a different kind of crime that should be, there should be a price paid, but it shouldn’t be — it shouldn’t rile people up that people are actually coming to this country to provide for their families. And the idea that we’re not going to fix this but with with comprehensive reform ends up trapping these people, when they could make a great contribution for their own their families but also for us.

So, they are here to do the jobs Americans won’t do? Really?

So I think we need to get beyond the harsh political rhetoric to a better place. The great number of people who come to this country come because they have no opportunities in other places. They may love their country, but they come here because they want to provide for their families. And they can make a contribution to our country if we actually organized ourselves in a better way.

I’ll grant you that we are seen as the Land of Opportunity, but you fail to see why we are seen that way now. In a word, WELFARE. It used to be people came here to build a better life for themselves and their family. I am proof of it. But when I see an “immigrant” in the check-out line buying food I can’t afford and paying with an EBT card, or when I see an “immigrant” buying cartloads of food with an EBT card because “it’s about to expire so I’m selling it so I can get money*”, or when I see an “immigrant” walking out of WIC, I get a bit upset. Because so far as I see, they haven’t contributed anything to my society, except the ability to milk it.

*She told me this in Spanish. And when I asked her if she felt bad, she told me no, because it was free money from the government.

Feb 24

Buh-bye, and I Hope They Go in Threes

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, February 24, 2014 in Awesomeness, Celebutards, Idiotarians

This weekend amid the heart wrenching hells of Venezuela, Ukraine, Syria, Thailand, and God only knows how many other countries, comes some good news. First off, Alec Baldwin is just plain givin’ up.

baldwin gives up

He’s just tired of being hounded by the “Gay Department of Justice”, y’all. He is tired of fighting TMZ photogs and wants to quit public life, so logically he is leaving NYC to move to LA, you know, home of TMZ and Hollywood.

Logic is not his friend.

On the heels of that bit of serendipity, comes the news that Piers Morgan’s show has been given the axe. And I don’t mean rank deodorant, which in hind sight would have been an improvement. I guess viewers of all political and ideological leanings got tired of his condescending schtick. Sure didn’t help that he came to a country that beat his own with muskets, either. And I am sure that being a know-it-all didn’t fly well, especially in view of his many phone hacking scandals during his time as a tabloid editor back in UK. Common manners dictate that you don’t shit on your host’s welcome mat.

As to the third, we can only speculate on who it could be. Personally, I’m kinda hoping it’s the entire cast of The View :D

Feb 17

Irked

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, February 17, 2014 in AssHatery, Celebutards, Government, Rants

Yes, I am thoroughly irked.

Some days ago, a celebutard whose career had stalled came out of the closet and declared her gayness over the media, and everyone went batshit. This right after some NFL hopeful came out of his closet to embrace his sexuality. These announcements dominated headlines for days, and in places they still do. And anyone who complains about the notoriety they are receiving gets shunned as an intolerant bigoted hater.

Meanwhile, protests in Ukraine, Syria, and Venezuela are beyond bloody, and most people remain ignorant and unaware. A bus of Korean Christians on tour in the Holy Land gets bombed by a suicide jackass, and no one hears about it. A co-pilot hijacks an Ethiopian airplane causing a mad scramble by several countries’ fighter jets, because he wanted asylum. Sweet Meteor of Death is going to zoom quite close to this planet, but not close enough. And in that other world we call Inside the Beltway, Republicans know that our Prez is violating the Constitution, but acknowledged they likely have no way to stop him, so they won’t even try.

Yes, I am irked. I do not care if you are straight or gay. If you are honest with yourself about your sexuality, good for you. Be proud, and move the fuck on. It is none of my business if you are gay or straight, or asexual for that matter. It is only YOUR business.You want me to cheer for you? Give of yourself, without thought of credit. I may get shit for this but in my opinion, coming out of the closet makes you look like an attention whore. You want it to be acceptable? Then be normal about it. No need to announce it to the fucking planet.

This celebrity cult we spawned is a death cult. We are ignoring the signs of our country’s demise in favor of who wore it best, or who vacationed where, or which bitch is the tackiest housewife of Beverly Jersey. It galls me that people know more about Charlie Sheen’s porn star fiancee than they do about their own country’s fiscal death spiral.

Dec 6

Pee-Shopped

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, December 6, 2013 in Celebutards, Open Thread, Rants

No, this post is not about urine. It’s about Photoshop™, the greatest scourge ever set loose upon the human female population.

Yesterday, my Little One asked me for a baby photo of hers to take in for her journalism class. They are working on the yearbook, and as editors they get to do a fun baby page. And I was looking forward to it until she told me she was going to “photoshop” it.

Me: WHAT??

LO: I have to photoshop it.

Me: But why? The picture is perfect.

LO: No it’s not. My cheeks are too shiny and a strand of hair is sticking straight up.

Me: THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT ADORABLE!!

LO: *sighs* You just don’t understand, Mom. Every photo must be photoshopped for the yearbook.

Me: Well, that’s just silly. What is the point if every photo has to meet a standard of perfection??

Personally, I enjoy using the application on my phone. I love to change the color and add an outline and make pics black and white. But I do NOT understand the need to brush away imperfections to the point of making you look like a totally different person.

I mean, seriously?

madonna pshop

What the ever-loving whale dong is THAT?? Madonna is 6,387 years old and everyone knows this. Why would you try to make her look 22??

I hate that women and quite a few men rely on Photoshop™. In my opinion, you are just living a lie. What say y’all??