Headlines
Police Arrest Naked Man Found Covered in Peanut Butter & Chocolate
Man Dies After Swallowing Dentures During Sex
'Soul Train' creator Don Cornelius dead
James Farentino dies at 73
White Castle Considers Offering Beer and Wine(I thought is where people went when already drunk)
America is Drunk(someone needs to slap Dr. Keith Ablow or buy him a drink or two)
Occupiers Pissing on Churches Housing Them (Literally)
I guess JoePa can discuss with God if he "did the right thing" now..
A Rainy Saturday
Why is it that major storms come through in the middle of the night? I think I got maybe four hours of sleep last night. If that. I’m not upset that we got rain, mind you. It’s the timing of it.
But rain produces nice results.
Without rain, our wells would run dry, and the term “dry” is not well-liked around here, is it??
Just remember, if you do get drenched in cold, hard rain, you should run a hot bath and soak immediately.
It’s for your own good 
Superstitions
Growing up in hillbilly hell the mountains of Puerto Rico, I had the opportunity to witness many family members practice little quirks all in the name of bringing good luck, or at least avoiding bad luck. We all know the standards: horseshoe over the front door, no opening of umbrellas inside, no breaking mirrors…that kind of thing. It’s harmless, and can provide endless hours of entertainment sometimes, especially when you sneak in and turn the horseshoe upside down, and watch your aunt totally wig out to the point of trying to get a white witch to bless the house again.
Good times!!
Personally, I don’t have any major superstitions. I avoid walking under ladders because I have hit my forehead a few too many times doing so. I think black cats are beautiful. I like lavender not for luck, but because deer hate it and stay away. I have opened many umbrellas in the house, and as far as horseshoes go, they look rather pretty in decor, but not my style. Shamrocks are for the Irish, and the thought of carrying a rabbit’s foot in my pocket is rather revolting, mostly because I used to watch my uncle make keychains from the paws.
All that being said, I do have one tiny superstition. I don’t wear my team colors when the Aggies play. Every time I’ve done so, they have lost. So I guess I do have one, even though it’s rather weak.
What little superstitious quirks do y’all have?
Sunday Wake Up
I had five teenaged girls spend the night, and I’m at the end of coherence, so if I have to suffer, so do you.
At least you won’t suffer very long
Saturday Joke
A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.
The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, “Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like ‘yes, I see,’ and ‘yes, go on,’ and ‘I understand.’”
The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.
The old priest says, “Now, don’t you think that’s a little better than slapping your knee
and saying, ‘No shit, what happened next?’”
Now that y’all had a laugh, get going on your chores, and don’t forget to get your car washed!!
Have a great Saturday!!
Up Your Nose, With a Rubber Hose!
Today brings sad news in TV Land. Robert Hegyes, who played Juan Epstein in the series, Welcome Back, Kotter!, passed away. I loved that show. For one thing, it was about school, and not the angsty kind. For another, it wasn’t afraid to stereotype or shy away from actual real world problems kids may have. And it was funny! I laughed so hard every time Epstein’s Mother sent a note…
I miss good TV. Even Disney and Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network have their drawbacks. Kids shows are not as wholesome as they used to be. And even commercials are sending the wrong messages. I recall one for a cereal, where an older lady is watering her lawn, and a kid is kinking up the gardenhose, only to let it go when she is looking at the head. That is not something I want any kid learning. And reality shows only show the stupidity of people.
So, what shows do you miss? What shows helped to form your view of the world? And more importantly, did anyone else watch Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom all the time??
Light ‘Em If You Got ‘Em
One of my favorite posts at Bring the Heat, Bring the Stupid are the videos of what Brad likes to call “‘Splodey”. Watching something blow up is therapeutic to me. Makes me feel all calm, and that all is right with the world, even if only for the few seconds of beautiful incendiary footage.
Seriously, doesn’t this make you feel good??
If I smoked, I would soooo need a cigarette right about now
Post Weekend Hooker
I know…the weekend here was rather boring, what with deadpool contestants, and the debate.
I hope this helps to make your Monday a bit more cheerful
Served Cold, or Hot?
I have never, EVER understood the need a woman has to destroy the personal property of a guy who is cheating on her. Frankly, it makes women look bad and stupid, especially when she gets caught and sent to jail. All she has done is made herself look like a thug, and made him look like a victim, which he is. Stupid move.
I like my revenge to be more subtle. There was a young woman that worked in the same store I did, who obviously did not like me. She always requested to be on the same shifts I worked, which never made sense, until I was called in for a review. Turned out she was *ahem* taking credit for my work. Seeing as how disputing it would make me look defensive, I suggested that I work under the manager, during her shift instead. That way she could keep a better eye on what I was doing. Needless to say, the other gal was left to work with the MIT, and the numbers soon showed her to be a slacker, and a liar. To say I was pleased when she was let go would be harsh. True, but harsh.
So, my interwebby friends, how do you like to serve it up? Hot like a five alarm chili? Or cold, like the sweetest champagne?
And don’t forget to regale us with details!
Dark Basement List
That’s what Nicole calls it. A countdown of lists about all and sundry. But since I have detailed a lot of that in different lists, I will be a bit more creative with mine.
Ten Worst Earworms
- We Built This City -- Starship
- Friday -- Rebecca Black
- Moves Like Jagger -- Maroon 5
- Bohemian Rhapsody -- Queen
- Livin’ La Vida Loca -- Ricky Martin
- Who Let the Dogs Out? -- The Baha Men
- Forget You* -- Cee Lo Green
- Material Girl - Madonna
- Heat of the Moment -- Asia
- Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O’Connor
Your Momma!
We’ve all been guilty of it: trying to out-do someone’s cutdown. Mine tend to be on the more subtle side. Sometimes they are so subtle that it sails past the party’ head, leaving them feeling confused. It just makes me sigh for the wasted moment, but at least they shut up long enough for me to move on.
A few years ago, Hubby, his Twin and a mutual friend were out for beers and pool. The friend went to the restroom when it was Hubby’s turn to break. When he returned, Hubby explained the break, resulting in one of the greatest comebacks ever:
Hubby: I got the small balls.
Friend: That’s what I heard.
Hubby: Damn, your girlfriend does tell you everything!
Friend: ……
Friend: There is no comeback to that….
So, what is the best comeback y’all ever said? What is the best one ever said to you?
And Aggies better not be involved 
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