If you’re kidding, I’m not laughing. If you’re serious, I’m getting my gun. — Harvey, IMAO.us

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Apr 11

Sauce for the Gander

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, April 11, 2014 in Idiotarians, Open Thread

I was perusing Drudge Report this morning laughing over a shoe, a resignation, and a tantrum, when a certain link caught my eye.

University of Connecticut officials have suspended a sorority as they investigate allegations that its members forced men to drink booze, eat dog treats, paint their bodies, wear women’s underwear and take alcohol shots off each other’s bodies.

Now, at first, I had to laugh. My first thought was, “Suuuuure…. the guys were promised the Land of Plenty in return for playing along.” After all, they were members of a fraternity, and most likely have experience in what I call “quiet hazing”, where pledges have to do some weird shit in order to get in, but nothing so auspicious that the members would get arrested for harassment and hazing. But then I re-read the article again, and it gave me pause.

delta_zeta_logo_lg

What if they were threatened?

Greek mixers are a staple in colleges. One sorority invited one fraternity for a party, they make t-shirts and sell them to raise money to pay for the drinks and food. Happens all the time. But in this day and age, I can no longer assume that the guys were “promised” anything, especially when sexual harassment laws on college campuses have been twisted so much that now men carry the burden of being told they are guilty without due process, and can lose everything. I wouldn’t put it past the gals to have threatened them with rape and police enquiry if they did not participate. I am not saying that happened. But I do think that the possibility percentage has increased dramatically in the past few years.

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? :D

Apr 5

Teaching: You’re Doing It Right

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Saturday, April 5, 2014 in Awesomeness, Everyday Hero, Teh Funny

As much as I love the guy’s storytelling abilities, I have to give kudos to the teacher for pairing people up to make sure hilarity ensued.

story lol

I wish my English profs had been this awesome :D

Feb 24

Buh-bye, and I Hope They Go in Threes

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, February 24, 2014 in Awesomeness, Celebutards, Idiotarians

This weekend amid the heart wrenching hells of Venezuela, Ukraine, Syria, Thailand, and God only knows how many other countries, comes some good news. First off, Alec Baldwin is just plain givin’ up.

baldwin gives up

He’s just tired of being hounded by the “Gay Department of Justice”, y’all. He is tired of fighting TMZ photogs and wants to quit public life, so logically he is leaving NYC to move to LA, you know, home of TMZ and Hollywood.

Logic is not his friend.

On the heels of that bit of serendipity, comes the news that Piers Morgan’s show has been given the axe. And I don’t mean rank deodorant, which in hind sight would have been an improvement. I guess viewers of all political and ideological leanings got tired of his condescending schtick. Sure didn’t help that he came to a country that beat his own with muskets, either. And I am sure that being a know-it-all didn’t fly well, especially in view of his many phone hacking scandals during his time as a tabloid editor back in UK. Common manners dictate that you don’t shit on your host’s welcome mat.

As to the third, we can only speculate on who it could be. Personally, I’m kinda hoping it’s the entire cast of The View :D

Feb 17

Irked

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, February 17, 2014 in AssHatery, Celebutards, Government, Rants

Yes, I am thoroughly irked.

Some days ago, a celebutard whose career had stalled came out of the closet and declared her gayness over the media, and everyone went batshit. This right after some NFL hopeful came out of his closet to embrace his sexuality. These announcements dominated headlines for days, and in places they still do. And anyone who complains about the notoriety they are receiving gets shunned as an intolerant bigoted hater.

Meanwhile, protests in Ukraine, Syria, and Venezuela are beyond bloody, and most people remain ignorant and unaware. A bus of Korean Christians on tour in the Holy Land gets bombed by a suicide jackass, and no one hears about it. A co-pilot hijacks an Ethiopian airplane causing a mad scramble by several countries’ fighter jets, because he wanted asylum. Sweet Meteor of Death is going to zoom quite close to this planet, but not close enough. And in that other world we call Inside the Beltway, Republicans know that our Prez is violating the Constitution, but acknowledged they likely have no way to stop him, so they won’t even try.

Yes, I am irked. I do not care if you are straight or gay. If you are honest with yourself about your sexuality, good for you. Be proud, and move the fuck on. It is none of my business if you are gay or straight, or asexual for that matter. It is only YOUR business.You want me to cheer for you? Give of yourself, without thought of credit. I may get shit for this but in my opinion, coming out of the closet makes you look like an attention whore. You want it to be acceptable? Then be normal about it. No need to announce it to the fucking planet.

This celebrity cult we spawned is a death cult. We are ignoring the signs of our country’s demise in favor of who wore it best, or who vacationed where, or which bitch is the tackiest housewife of Beverly Jersey. It galls me that people know more about Charlie Sheen’s porn star fiancee than they do about their own country’s fiscal death spiral.

Feb 7

Tempest in a Samovar

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, February 7, 2014 in AssHatery, Left Wing Media, Open Thread, Political Correctness

Today is the start of the 2014 Winter Olympic Games. And it wouldn’t be the Games without some activism.

0206-us-sports-sochilgbtgoogledoodle_full_600

That is the G00000gle Doodle for today. Notice anything different about it? Me too. The colors of the Olympic Rings signify the colors of the flags of the countries being represented, and the number signifies the five regions of the world. This image shows the colors of the rainbow. To wit, the delegates representing our country were picked based on their sexual orientation as a jab against Russia’s stance against homosexuality. When Brian Boitano came out of the closet no one, and I mean NO ONE was surprised. At all. Gay athletes have been around since the very first Olympics. Why is this news?

I always thought it was your athletic ability and sportsmanship that mattered, not your sexual orientation. We gather at the Games to celebrate our differences and similarities. Putin is a dick and tater, no doubt, but if his countrymen are happy with anti-gay agenda, why should our country tell him to change it? Have we told the Middle Eastern and Asian Islamic countries to change their anti-gay laws?? Yeah, right. As if!!

I have given up on the Games. I hate Bob Costas and his political grandstanding, and any joy that I would have would be tainted by stupid commentators who think their views are written on stone tablets.

Except curling. I’m still watching that.

And how about y’all? Will you be watching? :)

Jan 30

Thursday Random

Posted by ArmedGeek on Thursday, January 30, 2014 in Randomness

I’m sorry but its gotten to the point that I do not currently have time to keep up with this. I hope that I can pick this up again once I have more time.

Sorry.

UPDATE!!

Since our host is extremely busy right now, I’ll just post some funneh I have found in the interwebnets for now.

chinese engrish

(more…)

Jan 24

Olympic Styling, or How to Embarrass the American People

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, January 24, 2014 in Open Thread, Rants

Good Lord A’mighty.

winter olympic uniform gal

THAT is what the American Olympians will be wearing at the opening ceremonies in Sochi. In short, the mother of all ugly sweaters paired with sweatpants and fuck ugly boots. About the only redeeming item is the turtleneck. This is the main reason I don’t wear anything by Ralph Lauren. The ostentatiousness of it leaves the taste of bitter almonds laced with battery acid in my mouth. Bad enough that the blazers he designed for the 2012 Olympics had a gargantuan Polo Pony embroidered above the right breast. Now he has to go and design possibly the worst outfit evah and still manage to emblazon his initials on the pant leg.

(Ok, I took a break while scouring the internet and found this. Maybe this is not the worst that could have been.)

Still, I do miss the certain American style that we had cultured over the years. It was understated, yet it managed to imprint what our society stands for without having to scream it like a banshee in heat.

1980 winter olympic uniform

Remember those? Lake Placid, 1980. Designed by Levi’s, who also designed the 1984 Winter Olympic team uniforms. THOSE uniforms were the embodiment of Americanism. My dad saw them and his first words were, “Huh, they look American, finally”. Yes, FINALLY. And now we rely on some “fashion designer” who is more concerned with product placement? Seriously, who paid $795 for the 2012 blazer? That blazer was the 1980′s prom dress in the Paris fashion show that was the 2012 Winter Olympics.

Honestly, we have gone from exceptional to hipstery douchebaggery. I have plaid pants that have more balls than those uniforms.

And what say y’all?

Jan 10

Legal Stupidity

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, January 10, 2014 in Government, Idiotarians, Open Thread

Amazing how even dumb laws not only get passed, but stay on the books past their use.

Take my fair state. I love Texas, but sometimes you have to shake your head at some of the laws to which we still abide. Did you know that it is still illegal to take more than three sips of beer while standing?

Anyone been to a club or bar lately??

There are laws against sitting on the sidewalk, selling Limburger cheese, and if you steal cattle, you can STILL get hanged. By the way, people are hanged, inanimate objects are hung (SYWM!!!). In San Antonio, it is still illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation.

Anyone been to a club or bar lately??

caught lol

I understand that some of these were enacted in a different time, but Limburger???

What are some weird or stupid laws in your corner of the world? And have you bent it? ;)

Dec 6

Pee-Shopped

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, December 6, 2013 in Celebutards, Open Thread, Rants

No, this post is not about urine. It’s about Photoshop™, the greatest scourge ever set loose upon the human female population.

Yesterday, my Little One asked me for a baby photo of hers to take in for her journalism class. They are working on the yearbook, and as editors they get to do a fun baby page. And I was looking forward to it until she told me she was going to “photoshop” it.

Me: WHAT??

LO: I have to photoshop it.

Me: But why? The picture is perfect.

LO: No it’s not. My cheeks are too shiny and a strand of hair is sticking straight up.

Me: THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT ADORABLE!!

LO: *sighs* You just don’t understand, Mom. Every photo must be photoshopped for the yearbook.

Me: Well, that’s just silly. What is the point if every photo has to meet a standard of perfection??

Personally, I enjoy using the application on my phone. I love to change the color and add an outline and make pics black and white. But I do NOT understand the need to brush away imperfections to the point of making you look like a totally different person.

I mean, seriously?

madonna pshop

What the ever-loving whale dong is THAT?? Madonna is 6,387 years old and everyone knows this. Why would you try to make her look 22??

I hate that women and quite a few men rely on Photoshop™. In my opinion, you are just living a lie. What say y’all??

Nov 18

Monday Morning LOL

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, November 18, 2013 in AssHatery, Idiotarians, Left Wing Media, Rants

I love perusing the social-site-with-faces. I get to see the funny stuff, get news links with you know, ACTUAL NEWS, updates about family and friends, and of course, the requisite LSD-fueled screeds that just make my mornings.

This Monday’s entry is from none other than the Puffy Ho®. Y’all can go look for it. I can’t link it here. I just showered and we are under water restrictions. Again. Anyway, it is titled, 12 Reasons Why Obama is One of the Best Presidents Ever.

Quit laughing. I haven’t even started fisking it yet. He begins with duality.

With tears in my eyes, and joy in my heart, I stood alongside people of color across the nation as we celebrated America’s first inauguration of a black president. As a young black man, I felt a true sense of patriotism as I witnessed our country rally together to show, finally, that we are more concerned about who is the most qualified man for the job, regardless of race or age.

Uh huh. So you are happy a black guy won but it has NOTHING to do with race. Got it.

He goes on to say that sure, the Prez has had a few missteps, just like any other president. He says that after he claims the predecessor was a “colossal failure”, ok? And then, hilarity ensues.

1-- He is one for The People.

As long as “The People” means his campaign contributors and apologists, sure.

2-- He is for civil rights.

Tell that to those still screaming for same sex marriage, to the whistleblowers who are in hiding for outing the NSA, and TEA Party members being given a colonoscopy by the IRS.

3-- He is for one race -the human race.

I did snarf at this. Thoughts of George Zimmerman, Sgt. James Crowley, the people threatened by the Black Panthers all come to mind. And if you think of that too, then you’re RACIST!!!

4-- He is for a healthcare system that brings hope and healing to the hurting.

But you can’t hope to keep your insurance or your doctor.

5-- He is for the middle class.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

*sniff, chortle*

BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Sorry, I can’t help it. Better to laugh than to think of the total debt accruing on the middle class’ shoulders.

6-- He is for women’s rights.

Meanwhile not a peep from him regarding the vile comments made at conservative women, such as Sarah Palin. But Hera forbid anyone take a swipe at Sandra Fluke and her $3,000 contraception.

7-- He is for doing away with pomp and circumstance.

Golfing, million dollar vacations, and monthly concerts by hip musicians do not count. And the Greek columns couldn’t be reached for comment.

8-- He is for the environment.

I don’t know about y’all, but I’m still waiting for the oceans to recede and the planet to heal.

9-- He is for veterans.

This, as he makes suggestions to change the benefits and attempts to charge them for their healthcare. This, as he shuts them out of their own memorial. By the way, how many brass have been fired now??

10-- He is for peace.

Syria, the Arab Spring, Iran, Afghanistan, Benghazi…..

11-- He is for education.

Common Core, anyone?

12-- He is for entertaining the masses.

TOTUS could not be reached for comment.

If y’all feel like reading the article, it’s under The Blog at the Puffy Ho®. But best be prepared to spew your drink and take a long shower afterwards.