Headlines
Man Robs Bank Armed with McDonald's Apple Pies
Police Arrest Naked Man Found Covered in Peanut Butter & Chocolate
Man Dies After Swallowing Dentures During Sex
'Soul Train' creator Don Cornelius dead
James Farentino dies at 73
White Castle Considers Offering Beer and Wine(I thought is where people went when already drunk)
America is Drunk(someone needs to slap Dr. Keith Ablow or buy him a drink or two)
Occupiers Pissing on Churches Housing Them (Literally)
The New Civility, Part MCLXVIII
I have to admit, I am really enjoying the Occupy-Wall-Street-But-Over-At-Zucotti-Park protests. I am happy about them for two main reasons. First, they have every right to exercise their freedom of assembly and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. I find it hialrious that they are addressing Wall Street instead of Pennsylvania Avenue, but it’s their right. Second, by protesting, they reveal their true colors. For instance, take a look at this video:
Calling for a violent overthrow of the bourgeoisie. That’s just one clip. Now take what happened to our blogger friend, Snarky Basterd. Snarky has a Twitter account, and this is what he got as a response from an OWS protester:
If you had doubts about the so-called peaceful protest, they should be gone now. This is a threat of physical harm to any and all people of not just a certain “race”, but those who actually differ in opinion from the protester. Stalin talked this way. Mao talked this way. Hitler probably didn’t. He let his minions do the talking. But the really psychopathic thing of it all, is the protester himself. Not long after Snarky spread the tweet around, @MrHortonscycles changed his moniker. Like any female, I was overcome with curiosity, so I traced him to his new moniker, and found this:
Yes, he misspelled the “socialist” part. He claims that Twitter didn’t allow for that many characters, oblivious to the fact that he did use all the letters in the word, just in the wrong order. I laughed at first, because he has threats posted to pretty much everyone who calls him out. But then I sobered up to the fact that this guy actually believes he doesn’t say threatening things. That is far more dangerous, because he has no morals to guide his reasoning. His ilk will be happy to lay waste to anyone who gets in his way, as long as he gets his way. What he doesn’t understand is, he is the fodder the Left will use to get their way. He is nothing but a useful, idiotic, sacrificial sheep to the altar of Marxism.
He doesn’t seem to grasp that we are getting ready. We will not back down. And our version of “gun control” is to hit center mass.
Thanks also to Conservative Hideout 2.0 for the call to arms, as it were 
Maybe They Are With the 57 States?
Just when you think the journolistic intelligensia can’t be more ridiculous, they prove us dead wrong:
So enthused about promoting the far-left protests, ABC anchor Diane Sawyer on Monday night’s World News championed “the Occupy Wall Street movement” by ludicrously claiming that “as of tonight, it has spread to more than 250 American cities, more than a thousand countries — every continent but Antarctica.”
Excuse me?? A thousand countries?? What planet is she talking about?? Because last I checked, there were less than 200 countries on her precious Gaia. I’m no genius, but even I know geography. She could be forgiven* for saying a thousand cities in the US, but even then that would mean at least 20 per state. Unless there are 57 states, then it would be under 18 per state.
Newsflash, Ms. Sawyer: the rest of the world couldn’t give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut about these protesters. They only care about our country imploding from division, something which your ilk is only happy to foment along. I don’t know if it was the shiraz talking, but do us all a favor and kindly STFU.
Hat tip: Hubby 
*No, she wouldn’t be forgiven for saying an obvious lie like that. I was being kind.
Sports Opera
Good lord… I am the last person to think of herself as a football aficionado, but then again, they are acting more like a plot twist in As the Stomach Churns:
The Pac-12 decided it won’t expand further late Tuesday because commissioner Larry Scott failed to get assurance that Texas would back an equal revenue sharing plan if the league added the Longhorns, Oklahoma, Texas Tech and Oklahoma State, a source with direct knowledge told ESPN.com.
You know what I liked most about the Big 12 Conference? The fact that they used this as their theme song:
Sesame Street Pinball Song, sung by the Pointer Sisters, no less. Brought back memories and made us all nostalgic, and ergo, made us get over the fact that there was no longer a Southwest Conference.
And just as things were going well, t.u. (AKA, University of Texas), decided to fuck it up for everybody. How? They partnered with ESPN to have their very own Longhorn Network. A move one can only describe as “dicky”. Such a partnership gives them a decided edge on recruitment opportunities in high schools, to say the least, not to mention the amount of money that the network would generate for t.u.
Well, as you can surmise, there was no way Texas A&M was going to let that slide. This is how I imagined it went:
A&M: How could you just cut the rest of us out like that??
t.u.: What? It’s just a little money, baby…nothing to get worked over.
A&M: A little money?? YOU WHORE!!!
t.u.: You melodramatic bimbo! Get over yourself.
A&M: Excuse me??? I’m not the one that just buttfucked the whole conference here!
t.u.: The other teams will understand.
OU: The fuck we will. Nice having that whole rivalry with you. Good luck finding an audience to compete with what you just gave up.
Baylor: Look, you just have to deal with it, like we are, A&M.
A&M: Fuck that on a stick with sauce! I’m leaving, and y’all can’t stop me!!
OSU: Wait… we go where OU goes, so…wtf, over?
Baylor: Don’t go!! I will FIGHT to keep you here!!
TTech: So, do we stay or do we go to the Pac 12?
Pac 12: Nope, y’all can’t come over because t.u. is too greedy and won’t play by our rules.
t.u.: Fuck y’all!! I’m going independent, so there.
TTech: I think the Big 9 has a nice ring to it… (starts crying in his beer).
What a bunch of wankers fucktards*….
*changed due to David’s suggestion
The Truth Hurts
In this particular instance, the infliction of pain goes a long way in putting a smile on my face:
Powell says Cheney taking ‘cheap shots’ in book
Let’s take a moment here to laugh, shall we??
The Affirmative Action General goes on to bitch on Face the Nation that this book is nothing more than a rehashing of what happened about eight years ago, and that had Cheney’s staff and others in the White House had been forthcoming about the Valerie Plame issue, Libby would not have been indicted and convicted. Not sure what that has to do with Cheney’s criticisms of Powell’s rather weak policy towards Iraq, but rehashing is good for the goose, and apparently the gander, too.
Go read the article. The whole thing is a whiny bitchfest about how he served President Bush and how Cheney basically is acting like he is writing a supermarket tabloid unbecoming a former vice-president. Not that you need me to point it out, but who do you really think is acting like a creature from a tabloid here??
I rest my case.
Marvel-ling at Affirmative Action
Sometimes it doesn’t pay to relive your childhood. I used to read comic books when I was young, and loved how the good guys always won, and the bad guys were vanquished, and evil was held back for another day. And I always understood that heroes didn’t die, and by extension, neither did villains. Seriously, what would be the fun in that??
But now, Marvel has decided to jump the shark five times over. Because the first time was just too much fun.
[I]n the Ultimates series, Peter Parker gets killed at the hands of his nemesis the Green Goblin. But, being a comic book series, no hero stays dead for long. While Peter Parker may be gone, a new kid is stepping into the tights: Miles Morales.
Miles Morales is a half-black, half-Hispanic super-powered teen who gets into the hero game after being inspired by Parker’s death.
Yes, I know the Ultimate Series is different than the standard line. But not only do they kill of Spidey, his replacement has to meet Affirmative Action approval. Now, I could care less what ethnicity a superhero has. But I do care when suddenly, they start changing ethnicities and races of previous characters.
Nick Fury is now black.
Heimdahl, the freakin’ WHITE GOD, is now black.
Interestingly, previous characters that were black, have not been made into other races or ethnicities in the Ultimate Series, like Blade and War Machine. In the Marvel Universe, Affirmative Action is a one-way street.
You Are Over, John McCain
Over at The Other McCain, Stacy had a blog post apologizing for his Tourrette’s episode on Twitter. After reading why he exploded, I can say the Tourrette’s was well-warranted. Seems our old pal John McCain is whoring himself to the that paper from New Yawk. No, I’m not linking it here. I have standards. They may be low, but they are standards just the same. Anyway, Johnboi decided to scold the freshmen in Congress:
Mr. McCain mocked Tea Party-allied Republicans in the House for believing — wrongly, he said — that President Obama and Democrats will get the blame for a default if Republicans refuse to increase the nation’s debt ceiling.
By that flawed logic, “Democrats would have no choice but to pass a balanced budget amendment and reform entitlements and the Tea Party Hobbits could return to Middle Earth,” he said, quoting a Wall Street Journal editorial.
Excuse me?? He called the movement that catapulted a fucking majority into the House of Representatives HOBBITS??? Hey, you fucktardic twatwaffle, did you ever read Tolkien?? It was a Hobbit that defeated the ultimate evil, you pus-faced moron. If I were a freshman in the House, I would wear that as a badge of honor.
He goes on to slurp to the media, who can’t help but swoon at the “return of The Maverick”. And that had me waving my arms over my head, while screaming “DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!!!” Because the media loved The Maverick. And when a so-called Republican is a media darling, you have a problem.
Finally, McCan’t gives his entire game away, and it’s not pretty:
“Maybe some people who have only been in this body for six or seven months or so really believe that,” he said. “Others know better. Others know better.”
The sheer arrogance of that statement speaks volumes about his true character, not to mention his fear of losing the power he has in Congress, as well as his preferrence for the Status Quo, regardless of party.
So, FUCK YOU, JOHN McCAIN!!! You are nothing but a power-hungry jackass whose only redeeming quality is having brought Sarah Palin to the fore, something I’m sure you regret, and will regret for the rest of your life. I hope the bitter pill of your failure to become Prez chokes you, as does the knowledge that Palin is more effective with the conservatives than you could ever hope to be. The only mystery remaining as to your character is your insistence to identify yourself as a Republican.
Happy trails, you miserable piece of pig’s offal.
The Boogeyman Cometh
After yesterday’s debacle of a conference, you would think that the Prez would stop digging. First he flip-flops, then he tells us we are too stupid to understand the debt crisis:
But a crisis is nothing without the Eternal Boogeyman:
President Obama on Tuesday said he cannot guarantee that retirees will receive their Social Security checks August 3 if Democrats and Republicans in Washington do not reach an agreement on reducing the deficit in the coming weeks.
And yet, nowhere in that article is any mention of the simple fact that Social Security and Medicare are actually protected from default!! There is no way that these checks wouldn’t be sent out. However, he does go on:
Mr. Obama told Pelley “this is not just a matter of Social Security checks. These are veterans checks, these are folks on disability and their checks. There are about 70 million checks that go out.”
Those check to the military and reitrees?? Oh yeah….those are fair game to this administration. And do you know why? Because the administration is trying to head off a PR maelstrom of epic proportions:
Short story, all of the important functions of government, i.e national security, the military, air traffic control, border security, Social Security payments, etc., will continue to function. The parts that have to shut down…well, lets just say they are candidates for permanent cuts.
But what happens when you force the military to work with no pay? You get low morale, you get desperate housewives and husbands, you get people screaming to their congressmen to give them their hard-earned money. And it is hard-earned. And those people screaming will get far more attention from congressmen than welfare dependents. And that is what this administration is counting on.
What this administration forgets is we know when we are being used as gambits. And we will remember.
Second link hat tip to LC Draco.
Double Speak
In between being a mom and keeping the kids entertained, I decided to go slumming, and tuned in to CNN.
STOP JUDGING ME!!!
Anyway, as I was listening to the live news conference from our Prez, I was shocked, as in “water is wet” shocked, to hear him say that no one is wanting to raise taxes, but he needs to convince people we need to “increase” revenues. And in a surprising Emperor-is-Nekkid move, CNN actually posted the live blogging.
Hey, lets go after the corporate jet peeps again!!! Has he even looked to see just how many of them contributed to his campaign? Then he goes on, revealing what really matters:
New programs?? MORE programs?? And since when is this so-called NFL issue a government problem to address? Finally, he traps himself:
Hard things? We aren’t avoiding them, Mr. Prez. WE THE PEOPLE have been screaming for you and your ilk on the left and right to stop spending money we do NOT have. YOU are avoiding doing your job. YOU are avoiding reality.
And with any luck, YOU will be avoiding long lines at the unemployment center come 2013.
Ay, D10S Mio!!!
That’s my mother’s favorite exclamation in Spanish. Actually, everyone’s favorite, since it translates to “Oh, my God!!” And that is precisely what I was screaming when I saw this headline:
Soccer-Mad Church Worships Diego Maradona as a God
After my scream, I was speechless as I read the article. These people are serious. Seriously deluded, but serious all the same.
This unusual personality cult “was created to express and preach throughout the world our love to ‘El Diego’, who has given us so much and has worked miracles”, says [Hernan] Amez, one of the church’s three founding spiritual leaders.
Worked miracles? Is that what they call drinking spiked coffee so they could beat Australia in the 1993 qualifier? Is that what they call cheating your way to the World Cup?
These people take Cult of Personality to a whole new level. They refer to him as “D10S” because it is a play on the Spanish word for “God”, using his team number as part of the name (hence my oblique title. You’re welcome!). Their “holy book” (I can’t even use the term “bible” here) is Maradona’s autobiography, their “new year” begins on Maradona’s birthday, And their “day of rebirth” falls on June 22nd, the anniversary of Argentina’s World Cup win in 1986. But their “prayer” is the coup de gag:
“Our Maradona who art in soccer field, hallowed by Thy left hand, Thy magic come, Thy goals will be remembered on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day your daily magical playing style, and forgive the British as we forgive the Neapolitan Mafia. And lead us not into off-side but deliver us from João Havellange and Pelé”
Oh, they claim to be mostly practicing Christians, and that this “church” is for those who love soccer. Well, I am not a huge fan of soccer by any stretch of the imagination, but I do know this: Maradona will never be the great man that is Pele.
But he comes close to being the man that is Pete Rose.
I’m a Political Science Major, and Have Studied Abroad
(Guest post by LC Draco)
I always find it funny when people with NO military experience think they know how the world works!!! Hell, I was a Political Science major, but had my first fire fight near the East German border in 1987!!!
And now the video to prove it!
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