Shakespeare only wrote “Let’s kill all the lawyers” as there were no Financial Planners around at that time. — Paul Brennan, http://101reasonstokillallthelawyers.blogspot.com/

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May 16

Henny for Lots of Pennies

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, May 16, 2014 in AssHatery, ClimateGate, Idiotarians, Left Wing Media, Total Bullshit, Weather

Y’all remember Henny Penny? AKA Chicken Little? Apparently she got hit on the head with a chunk of Antarctic ice and is screaming about the eventual demise of Washington, D.C.

What will become of the nation’s capital?

The huge West Antarctic ice sheet is slowly collapsing, and two groups of scientists say the melting is now an unstoppable event.

Melting ice will cause sea levels to rise higher than initially projected, which is cause for concern for D.C.-area scientists and local urban planners.

The rising seas will affect local treasures, including the Chesapeake Bay and the country’s iconic monuments along the National Mall.

“We’ve reached the point of no return,” says Brenda Ekwurzel, senior climate scientist with the Union of Concerned Scientists. “We can expect by the end of the century, according to the National Climate Assessment, anywhere between one and five feet of sea-level rise.”

That’s only the beginning.

I know, I know…y’all are out of shocked faces by now. Global cooling Global warming Climate change Climate chaos is super happening over in Antarctica. The ice sheet is breaking!! ICE IS MELTING SO SEA LEVELS WILL RISE AND DOGS AND CATS WILL END UP LIVING TOGETHER!!! (Say it. You know you want to!) So as the sea level rises we are in danger of our so-called beloved national capital from being underwater. Weather peeps can’t possibly predict the weather for the workweek, but BY GOD they can sure tell when we are all going to die because of anthropomorphic global warming CLIMATE CHAOS. Henny Penny is screaming that the sky is falling the water is rising, just so we can spend money towards…. barriers and raising bulkheads. But nothing TOO high because that may obstruct the aesthetics of Old Town Alexandria, and you can’t have that. And as for DC, they admit it is doable to enclose it, but it would be very expensive.

“The worry to our children is, not only will this continue, but it might accelerate pretty fast,” says [Bill] Boicourt, of the University of Maryland.

Well, y’all knew this was going to be plugged For the Children™. Yes, I’m out of shocked faces, too. They also give a shout-out to cutting emissions, too. Can’t let that tidbit be ignored. Never mind that ice breaks off when it gets too heavy, or that this past April saw record-breaking levels of ice forming in Antarctica, exceeding the past record for Antarctic ice cover by about 320,000 square kilometers. No, the ice breaking means dead polar bears somewhere and children who can no longer enjoy a trip to see the new AGW chart at the Smithsonian.

I don’t need to be a weather expert to call bullshit on this. If the possibility of DC being submerged in water were real, those Congress rats would have fled long ago.

Feb 16

Astral Pet Peeve

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Saturday, February 16, 2013 in Last Frontier, Nature, Rants

As news came of the meteor crashing in Russia, NASA sent out a press release that the meteor had absolutely nothing to do with Asteroid 2012 DA14, which came within 20 minutes of Earth.

Oh, sure, it was a smidge over 17,000 miles from our planet, but it’s more dramatic when measured in freakin’ minutes.

Anyway, everyone was still wigging out, and the one thing that really made me boil was…. the name.

Asteroid 2012 DA14

The hell?? I understand that we are rather limited in our English language and that NASA and the Astronomical Naming Union have certain guidelines for naming celestial bodies. But really, there are about 6,500 spoken languages, of which roughly 4,000 are spoken widely, and there are other alphabets we can use. Tamil has 69 characters in its alphabet! Heh, I typed ’69′. Anyway, with all the brou ha ha over the Mayan calendar, why not name it something way cool to scare the hell out of everyone? They were tracking it since February of 2012. Seems to me they missed the perfect opportunity to name it….

MAYAN DEATHWISH

See? How awesome would that have been??

I swear, if they let me name astral bodies, I would do it for free.

Oct 29

Sending Prayers and Levity

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Monday, October 29, 2012 in Funny Pics, Nature, Weather

Having lived through more than my share of hurricanes, and coming from the culture that gave y’all the word in the first place, I offer up prayers for y’all’s safety, and hope that y’all are taking plenty of precautions!!

And I really meant it when I say “taking ALL precautions”.

Take care, stay safe, and above all, do NOT become a Rider of the Storm!! ;)

May 18

Old Wives Tales

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, May 18, 2012 in Funny Pics, Open Thread, Personal

My mother is a very wise woman. Most mothers tend to be. They rely on personal experience to guide us into making our personal decisions. Sometimes, the advice may come from another less sound source, let’s just say. While she was here for a visit, the females in the family begin to speak of female things regarding our female offspring. Keep in mind, the distaff side was in conference away from members who, shall we say, have medical experience to back up their opinions. Anyway, the subject turned to taking better care of one’s skin, particularly acne-prone skin. Sister #2 (for reference, I am oldest, so I am #1…heh!) suggested using calamine lotion at night. It never seemed to work for me, but my acne was more severe than the teens’ in the family, so I didn’t disagree. Sister #3 suggested toothpaste. Ok, now I was at a loss, but whatever. And our mom, a Wise Latina™, suggested a concoction of ginger and onions boiled in milk.

Obscure reference for your reading pleasure.

Where in hell did my mother ever come up with this??? I mean, I had acne, all the girls in the family did, and not once did she ever consider even buying special cleansers or taking us to the dermatologist, much less come up with this evil potion. So I asked her where she got that from, and she said (I kid you not), “Oh, that’s what Mama always made for every malady. If you have cramps, you drink it. If you have acne, you apply it to your face after washing, if you have a cut, you pour it over it. It’s a cure-all.”

Ugh….ginger and onions boiled in milk. It makes me rather glad I suffered with acne. The alternative hardly bears thought.

And what old wives’ tales have y’all experienced? I bet nothing like this, huh? ;)

Jan 7

TESLA!!!

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Saturday, January 7, 2012 in Everyday Hero, Funny Pics, Teh Funny

We at Casa de Aggie are big fans of Nikola Tesla.

And Edison can suck it! :D

Sep 30

Quintessentialism

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, September 30, 2011 in BOOZE!!, HOOKER!!, Open Thread, Total Bullshit

Ah yes…the perfect thing. Well, not really perfect, as in “without faults”, but more along the lines of the picture that comes to mind when you think of a generalized item. For example, when I think of “cookie”, I think of this:

Mmmmm….chocolatey goodness. And yet, it is not my favorite cookie.

Don’t you dare call me a heretic.

Anyway, some things are obvious to most of us. We envision a cup of coffee as being dark and steaming, even though we may drink it with milk or creamer, or iced. When someone says “french fries”, we picture a red carton of fries from McDonald’s, even though we may actually prefer to eat the waffle ones from Chick-Fil-A.

But when it comes to BOOZE*, it’s different. Hubby may very well picture a bottle of scotch, whereas I picture a margarita. His may be closer than mine to a quintessential item, but it may be that since I don’t drink it often, it doesn’t come to mind when someone asks. Personal preference will out.

So, our question today is, what is the quintessential HOOKER* and the quintessential BOOZE*??

*Yes, still trying to get G0000000000gle results in our favor. It’s shameless, but it works ;)

Sep 16

Quandary of the Ages

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Friday, September 16, 2011 in Food Porn, Open Thread, Randomness

It never fails. This is asked at least once a week. And no one can ever supply a satisfactory answer. Experts have weighed in on the subject, have supplied their own opinions on the subject, and yet, no one can come to an agreement. So I ask you….

Do you put ketchup on your steak???

Inquiring minds NEED to know!!!

Jan 12

You first, Georgie

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Wednesday, January 12, 2011 in AssHatery, Ecowackos, Left Wing Media, Political Correctness, Politics

I swear, just when you think the liberals can’t dig further to China, one comes out of the manure pile to prove me wrong. I’m referring to the ramblings writings scratchings droolings ramblings of George Monbiot, out favoritest moonbat. He writes in The Guardian (no linkage, as it makes me feel…. dirty):

Let’s Take The Housing Fight to Wealthy Owners With Empty Spare Rooms

Those who insist on under occupying their homes should be forced to pay for the priviledge, or take in a charity lodger.

No, that isn’t a bunch of typos. That was the byline for Georgie Moonbat’s article at The Guardian. Luckily, a reader at The Telegraph caught a screenshot. And why would you need a screenshot, you ask? Well, because someone at The Guardian woke up and scrubbed it, replacing it with this byline:

The hidden truth about our housing crisis is that it is driven by under-occupation

Wow…what a subtle change. From “force to pay for the priviledge” of actually OWNING your own home, to ZOMG!! “the hidden truth” and “under-occupation”. Seriously,  this idiot is advocating that owners essentially give up what they have rightly earned to others who have not. And why?? Because Moonbat believes that housing is a common resource, like oh, I don’t know…. federal lands? public roads? public parks? Shit if I know. I’m not British. Or a Moonbat. In Georgie’s Moonbattery World, he believes, and I am NOT making this up, that it was a mistake to allow the Market, and the Market alone, to determine who gets what. Here in the USA, we call that opportunity. Georgie calls it thievery:

Either we ensure that it is used wisely and fairly, or we allow its distribution to become the starkest expression of inequality. The UK appears to have chosen the second option. We have allowed the market, and the market alone, to decide who gets what – which means that families in desperate need of bigger homes are crammed together in squalid conditions, while those who have more space than they know what to do with face neither economic nor social pressure to downsize

Ahhhh….fairness and equality. The buzzwords of the Leftards. Gawd, can’t y’all come up with something better??? This shit is beyond tired and old. Hell, this shit is fast becoming coprolitic.

So, you first, Georgie. Tell me where you live, and I promise that, for food and shelter, I will make sure you have fresh Depends available on your nightstand.

The Telegraph has a great piece on Moonie. And as usual, the comments are snarkilicious ;)

IMPOTENT UPDATE:

(more…)

Nov 22

Gore admits ethanol was bad policy

Posted by ArmedGeek on Monday, November 22, 2010 in Ecowackos

From Reuters via WattsUpWithThat.com:

“It is not a good policy to have these massive subsidies for (U.S.) first generation ethanol,” said Gore, speaking at a green energy business conference in Athens sponsored by Marfin Popular Bank.

“First generation ethanol I think was a mistake. The energy conversion ratios are at best very small.

“It’s hard once such a programme is put in place to deal with the lobbies that keep it going.”

“One of the reasons I made that mistake is that I paid particular attention to the farmers in my home state of Tennessee, and I had a certain fondness for the farmers in the state of Iowa because I was about to run for president.”

“The size, the percentage of corn particularly, which is now being (used for) first generation ethanol definitely has an impact on food prices.

The competition with food prices is real.

Emphasis mine.

Fuck you, Al Gore. And fuck all of you who backed him in this bullshit. For years we’ve been shouted down, called stupid and anti-science for saying the very things he’s now admitting.

There’s not one person in this country who this policy has not cost money. Why can’t we sue him for damages. This wasn’t a mistake, he wasn’t led astray by bad science. At one point he admits the fraud when he talks about getting in bed with Iowa farmers.

Cocksucker.

Sep 7

Sex Poodle High!!

Posted by LC Aggie Sith on Tuesday, September 7, 2010 in AssHatery, Ecowackos, Left Wing Media, Public Ed

Ok, I was just going to leave well enough alone with the Chuck Norris video, but damn…this is just too good to pass up, y’all!!!

Al Gore has had some tough breaks — like losing the presidency after getting more votes than the other guy — but the noted environmentalist achieved a singular honor last week, becoming the first vice president to have a Los Angeles school named after him.

And, fittingly, the school will be devoted to environmental themes.

But as in the 2000 election, there’s a catch. Critics say the campus’ location poses a long-term health risk to students and staff.

As if that wasn’t ironic enough, he plays second fiddle to none other than evirowacko Rachel Carson: The Carson- Gore Academy of Environmental Sciences. Am I the only one who notices a few little things, like naming another school after a live pol, and replacing the top soil after building the school, to the tune of $4 million? Or that class instruction will center around recycling, “research”, and beach clean-ups? Can you say “indoctrination“, boys and girls? YES, WE CAN!!!

You have to wonder about a principal who is excited about having an organic garden at his school, with allegedly contaminated soil, though. No links were harmed during this post, but they can be found through Drudge at the L.A. Times.