Headlines
Police Arrest Naked Man Found Covered in Peanut Butter & Chocolate
Man Dies After Swallowing Dentures During Sex
'Soul Train' creator Don Cornelius dead
James Farentino dies at 73
White Castle Considers Offering Beer and Wine(I thought is where people went when already drunk)
America is Drunk(someone needs to slap Dr. Keith Ablow or buy him a drink or two)
Occupiers Pissing on Churches Housing Them (Literally)
I guess JoePa can discuss with God if he "did the right thing" now..
Weird Conversations, and Why I Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Talk Before I Have Coffee
I swear, sometimes it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed. Last night I went to bed rather late, since Eldest was practicing her Parade and March stuff for ROTC in the kitchen, and right as I fell asleep I got an anxiety attack, so I laid in bed waiting for an hour for it to subside, thinking stupid existentialistic crap that probably solved the world’s problems, but I promptly forgot after dreaming about narwhals. Why narwhals? Because Eldest had been talking about them a couple of days ago. Shit like that just lies in wait to assault my REMs.
This morning I got up, and tripped over the little dog as I made my way with one eye open to the coffeemaker. You would think I could not screw that up, right? But noooo…. instead of creamer I poured lemon juice into my cup of coffee, not looking because A) the bottles are similar in color and size, and 2) the dog was barking to be let out. I’m hiding the bottle of lemon juice in the back of the fridge from now on.
So, I have my second cup with creamer, just in time to Skype with Hubby. YAY!! So, we talk about stuff going on over there and soon enough we are all, “Oh I miss you honey!” and “I miss you too!” and then we talk of how some stuff over there is so weird and suddenly for no reason I say:
I know! I just don’t understand why they (Muslims) would want 72 virgins. I mean, that just doesn’t make sense to me. I would rather have 72 hookers. They would know what they are doing, right?
And Hubby just looks at me with a lot of pity, because that part of the conversation had absolutely nothing to do why we miss each other. Or maybe it did, and I missed it. All I know is that today is a three pot of coffee day and I am soooo going to have a nap.
Sunday Funnies
Because we can always do with a laugh, after dealing with teens and paint.
I wonder if the whales get valet parking?
I do hope it’s not a cactus. Or a Venus Flytrap…
There is absolutely nothing to add here.
Aren’t they all??
Have a great Sunday 
Defending Your Life
I love that movie. First, I am a HUGE Albert Brooks fan, and second, the premise of the movie just tickles me. After dying, you go to Judgment City to await a trial of sorts, defending the way you lived to see if you “move forward”. Yes, just move forward. It’s a movie about facing your fears on Earth. A really interesting take on Afterlife. And lately, with the passing of a close family friend, I have wondered if I have done enough to defend my life.
Death is a frightening aspect. Some of us do not wish to face it and avoid thinking about it for the most part. Others, especially those who know when their time will come, face up to the end with great dignity. Still, I have known people who live like they are dying, to quote Tim McGraw.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSE8NJHn7ss
I have been afraid sometimes, letting the fear overtake me. And I know that, if I were to pass away and defend my life, I would not move forward. But that is why we have second chances, and why we make plans to do and see and be everything we can before the time comes. I know I’ll never see the Himalayas, or the Great Wall of China. I do know I’ll make it to the Taj Mahal and the Great Pyramids of Giza Plateau.
And I do know, with everything that I am, that for the rest of the life I do have, I won’t be afraid anymore. In fact, with that pronouncement I think people should start being afraid of me!
So, what are y’all’s fears? Grammar? Getting mauled by a bear? Not finding shoes in your size?? 
Contradiction Commercial 2.0
And in case you missed version 1.0:
The Morning After
Well, Christmas around here was awfully quiet. Y’all will be glad to know I stuck to my guns and forbade Miss Drama from making an unwelcome appearance. She tried though. That attention whore sure likes to crash a party. But in the end, I won out. As mentioned in the comments, I received some wonderful loot, including PJs and bubble bath, and my eldest gave me the sweetest necklace with a heart inscribed with “Mother”. As for the kidlets, they got some fabulous loot as well, but Little One takes the prize for the best toy ever:
Don of the Dead
Yes, she loves it. Next year she wants a shotgun. Nice to know we are raising the kids right.
Zombie Saturday
A discussion of bad zombie movies at the chat yesterday introduced me to a fantabulous film, The Goon:
I. Can’t. Wait. 
A Story For The Glorious Lemur King
Our friend The Glorious Lemur King has had a relapse and is unable to finish writing his awesome Truck/ Michigan/ Silver D’Cat story. We all wish him a speedy recovery. His condition is extremely painful, and we can only hope and pray he has better luck defeating that monster this time around.
Anyway, as I began to write, LK (as he is known around these parts) is unable to finish his adventurous tale of mayhem, mystery, and madness involving a cat, a truck, a state, and in between, drugs. All perfectly legal, seriously. So, it is up to us, his loyal readers, to extrapolate a plausible ending to the second part of his story. His last paragraph:
We laughed and read The Onion that night at the hotel and skritched our sulky kitty until it was time to turn out the lights. There was a big day ahead of us, and we had no idea how ill-prepared we were for the adrenaline-pumping experiences that were to come.
And so, without further ado, I present to you, loyal reader, my version of the story…..
I *heart* October
You know what? October is fast becoming my favorite month. You get candy corn (yes, I eat each color section at a time), you get fun wines like Vampire and Bitch (ok, that last one is a year round staple around here), you finally can legitimize wearing your costume in public, and of course, not to be outdone, you get ZOMBIES!!!!!
I *heart* bunny slippers
Yep, that’s my very own zombie BFF, y’all, and guess what? You can make your own!! Because SEARS has gone ZOMBIE!!! They even have a link to where you can translate into zombie for the recently undead. AWESOME!!!!
Hat tip: Mitchell, who isn’t into zombies, but we love him anyway
Zizzling With Zazzle
I had a rough day yesterday, but the mail more than made up for it. Behold my latest acquisition thanks to The Glorious Lemur King:
I can sure rock an insect
I have plans for this t-shirt. They involve a very nice restaurant with outside seating right on the Riverwalk, where tourists and locals pass by. I am still waiting on my corset poster and my teh awesome democrat containment mug. Once I have my hands on those, my plans to conquer the world will be put in motion. Zombies don’t stand a chance, y’all.
UPDATE: I got my poster today!! WHOO HOO!!!!
UPDATE, PART DEUX: And I got my mug!! Time to conquer the world!!
Aggie Gets Murdered For A Great Cause
No, seriously. Ok, not seriously, but fun anyway. Awesome writer and good guy extraordinaire Larry Correia is holding a charity for a young man who is in need of a kidney. His name is Misha Hintze, and Larry has graciously donated “Red Shirts”: for a paltry $50, you get to die in an upcoming book, in stunning, awesome, gory detail. YOUR NAME LIVES (and dies) IN POSTERITY!!!
AWESOMENESS!!
This could be YOU. And really, wouldn’t this be an fantabulous Christmas present for that special person in your life?
Via Larry
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