BotW: The Martini

The motherfucking martini. Not some glass of vodka. I mean a motherfucking martini.

Two shots of gin. One shot of dry vermouth. Dash of orange bitters. Make that shit cold. Shake it, stir it, don’t give a fuck just make it cold. Strain that baddass concoction into a glass. Stab an olive with a nice sharp toothpick and drop that bad boy in there. DONE. Drink that shit.

Uppity sounding name aside, this is a man’s drink. Rum and coke? Jack and coke? Vodka and soda? Fuck you. You mix your booze with more booze. The only thing in this drink that don’t have alcohol is the olive and you can bet your ass it’ll be alcoholic by the time you get to it.

If you’re going to be a drunk, by God be a classy drunk.

Pro tip: odd numbers of olives only. never even. even is bad luck. if you want more than one, then you need three.



  1. I can’t argue with this logic.
    Also, I won’t stop posting girlie drinks because I love sugar. So there.

  2. I don’t like gin . . . or vermouth . . . or olives . . . I’ll stick to the scotch on the rocks. However, I like the post.

  3. Finally, the correct way to make a Martini, anything else is just a vodka cocktail or a chocolate cocktail, etc. A Martini is ONLY gin and vermouth, orange bitters and olives, period. BTW, try Fee Brothers for the orange bitters, the best.

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